List of Saturday Night Live commercial parodies

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The following is a partial list of Saturday Night Live commercial parodies. On Saturday Night Live (SNL), a parody advertisement is commonly shown after the host's opening monologue. Fast food, beer, feminine hygiene products, toys, and automobiles have been frequent targets.

The commercial parodies have even targeted the SNL producers. A self-parody commercial featured "The Best of the First 20 Minutes", a parody of Broadway Video's series of SNL compilation videos. It offered a compilation of bits from the Cameron Diaz/Smashing Pumpkins September 1998 episode before that episode had even finished.

In 1991, Kevin Nealon and Victoria Jackson hosted a clip show featuring many commercials entitled Saturday Night Live Goes Commercial. In early 1999, Will Ferrell hosted a follow-up special. In late 2005 and in March 2009, the special was updated, featuring commercials created since the airing of the original special.

A

• Academy for Better Careers – spokesman Wendell Craig^[1] pitches a program for people to find jobs as stand-by operators.
• Action Cats – a parody of action-figure toys featuring plastic armor and weapons for live cats.
• Adobe – very unsafe car, with a sticker price of $179, made entirely of clay; it "combines German engineering and Mexican know-how!"
• Adopt John Belushi for Christmas – Candice Bergen sells people on letting John Belushi stay at their place for the holidays.
• Al Sharpton's Casa De Sushi – Similar to Donald Trump's House of Wings or Derek Jeter's Taco Hole, Al Sharpton (as himself) opens a Japanese restaurant even though Sharpton himself hates the food and only admits to opening the restaurant so he can pay for his political campaign.
• Aliens 4: Mad About You Aliens – promo for new NBC sitcom based on Mad About You and the 1979 science fiction movie Alien.
• AM Ale – An alcoholic beverage for the morning because "you can't wait till afternoon."
• Amazin Lazer – A consumer grade laser gun for cleaning up yard waste or for use in potential criminal acts.
• America's Turning Gay – Combines parodies of 7 Up's "America's Turning 7-Up" advertisement campaign and Dr. Pepper's "Be a Pepper" ad campaign where small-town residents celebrate the sudden realization that they're homosexual.
• America's Worst Moments – a spokesman (Chris Parnell) pitches a commemorative plate collection featuring America's most shocking and embarrassing moments in politics and pop culture.
• American Cancer Society – Season six public service commercial where a spokeswoman (Gail Matthius) promises to discuss breast cancer and perform a self-exam on herself in an honest and open manner, but the promise is broken when the spokeswoman is shown with a striker bar covering her chest and explains the details of her self-exam in euphemisms.
• American Dope Growers Union – Laraine Newman (and several SNL castmembers and writers) support American-grown marijuana and their farmers.
• American Taser – A series of people—a pitchman (Chris Parnell), a police officer (Jason Sudeikis), a second pitchman (Darrell Hammond), a sexual predator (Seth Meyers), a businesswoman (Amy Poehler), an angry wife (Rachel Dratch), the angry wife's husband (Will Forte), a black man (Kenan Thompson), a racist nightwatchman (Bill Hader), a militant black man (Finesse Mitchell), a Star Trek geek (Andy Samberg), and a third pitchman (host Jason Lee) each demonstrate the latest models of tasers by shocking each other until the last person (Lee) shocks himself.^[2]
• ...and More - Tina-Tina Chenuse (Jenny Slate) promotes her stores that stock personalized novelties. The skits have 3 elements: Tina-Tina introducing herself, "Hi-lo, I'm Tina-Tina Chenuse," the store names always end with "and More" (e.g. "Car Horns and More"), and Tina-Tina always exclaims "Oh my God" somewhere in the sketch.
• And So This Is Hanukkah – promo for celebrity-packed Hanukkah special for those who know very little about the holiday; was criticized by Jewish anti-defamation groups for its content.^{[citation needed]} It was cut from the 60-minute reruns for Comedy Central and E!, but not the NBC reruns.
• Angora Bouquet – tranquilizer-laced facial cleanser that "washes your brain as well as your face."
• Angry Dog – dog food that turns any dog into a mindless killing machine. A picture of Michael Vick is on the package.
• Annuale – medicine that causes women to have one period a year, making them extremely violent (Tina Fey's office worker character is shown going after co-workers Bill Hader and Andy Samberg with a pink axe, while Amy Poehler's character is shown kicking a man, played by Fred Armisen in the groin and punching him in the face), greedy (Casey Wilson's character is shown shoveling an entire birthday cake in her mouth at a child's party), and sexually frustrated (Kristen Wiig's character is shown French kissing a dog as it licks her face) due to an excessive stream of hormones.
• Ass Don't Smell – personal hygiene spray intended to keep one's buttocks smelling fresh and clean; a parody of feminine hygiene sprays.
• Autumn Fizz – "The Carbonated Douche."

B

• Baba Wawa Talks to Herself – TV special promo where Baba Wawa (Gilda Radner) interviews herself.
• BabySpanx - Foundation garments used to slim down baby fat on infants. "I would never spank a baby, but I sure as hell would SPANX one!"
• Back To The Future 25th Anniversary DVD - Similar to the Star Wars Anniversary DVD fake commercial on the season 22 episode hosted by Kevin Spacey, the commercial for the Back to the Future 25th Anniversary DVD features screen tests from 1980s actors and actresses who originally auditioned for the movie, such as Eddie Murphy (Jay Pharoah), Jennifer Tilly (Kristen Wiig), Alan Alda (Bill Hader), Al Pacino (also played by Bill Hader), Joan Cusack (Abby Elliott), Prince (Fred Armisen), Bill Cosby (Kenan Thompson), Gilbert Gottfried (Taran Killam), and Paul Reubens in his Pee Wee Herman persona (also played by Taran Killam).
• Bad Idea Jeans – a commercial featuring scenes of people discussing what can be considered "bad ideas" (for example, "Now that I have kids, I feel much better having a gun in the house"). After each scene, white text on a black background reads "BAD IDEA." Each scene also zooms in on each person wearing said jeans (in a parody of then-current ads for Dockers pants).
• Bad Haircuts – a warning to overseas travelers featuring host Maureen Stapleton as one of many tourists abducted while overseas and given outlandish haircuts.
• Bad Seed – a venomous, near-hysterical Nancy Reagan (Terry Sweeney) debunks rumors that her daughter Patti's novel Home Front is based on real life, and pitches her own book that she co-wrote with Stephen King.
• Balz-Off – a medication that makes men more sensitive to women by killing off their testosterone levels.
• Banshee – a collection of 1970s-style speakers that blare out the voices of weeping widows, for use during funerals.
• Barkley's Bank - Former NBA player Charles Barkley has opened a bank in which he takes people's money and gambles with it in the hopes of either doubling their money or losing it all.
• Bass-O-Matic – a parody of Ron Popeil's 1970 commercials with Dan Aykroyd as the pitchman selling a blender specifically designed to liquefy fish. The tag line: "MMM! That's great bass!"
• Bathroom Monkey – a housewife (Janeane Garofalo) uses a disposable simian slave that keeps your bathroom clean.
• Berkeley Collection – Jerry Rubin sells wallpaper with popular protest slogans from the 1960s and 1970s.
• The Best of T.T. and Mario – a CD collection featuring the raunchy song stylings of a 1970s-era Peaches-and-Herb-type singing duo (Maya Rudolph and Kenan Thompson).
• Betty Beer – Robin Duke, Christine Ebersole, and Mary Gross promote beer made for women.
• Bierhoff House of German Coats - German entrepreneurs (Fred Armisen and episode host Ben Affleck) sell bright orange winter coats to German tourists vacationing in New York City.
• Big Brawn Feminine Napkins – large, rough-looking menstruation pads. The ad, a parody of Brawny paper towels (with a jingle that parodies the song "Big Bad John"), features 50-foot-tall (15 m) lumberjack Will Ferrell aiding a regular-sized Molly Shannon in need in her bathroom—after tearing the roof from her house.
• Big Red – a toy Viking figure that spins around, spraying red liquid from the horns of a stereotypical Viking helmet (absurdist parody of water sprinkler-type toys). Furthermore, the liquid is revealed to be hazardous, as evidenced by the thick utility gloves included in the package included to clean up the resulting mess.
• Bio-Flex – parody of exercise equipment commercials where Will Ferrell is attacked by a half-man/half-monkey creature, which is considered a workout.
• The Bitchslap Method – an informercial featuring a self-help video course that teaches troubled married couples to bitch-slap their spouses into submission.
• Bizzy Lady – The portable shaver for the active professional woman. Nora Dunn uses the Bizzy Lady to shave her underarms while attending the opera.
• Blaine Hotel – a bumper during Weekend Update in which Don Pardo announces that guests of Saturday Night Live stay at the Blaine Hotel, but is usually followed by a Weekend Update report about yet another grisly murder at the Blaine. The bumper parodies actual promotional announcements for the Essex House, where SNL hosts actually stayed during the show's early seasons.
• Booty Bidness – rapper Ludacris (as himself) pitches a new line of women's businesswear with racy phrases on them, such as "Porn Star," "Bi-Curious," "Tasty" (written on the rear end of a skirt), and "Nympho." Originally, the clothing line was called "Casual Bitch" and was seen on the dress rehearsal version of the episode hosted by Hugh Laurie.
• Bosley - a new procedure for hair transplants, but borrowing pubic hair.
• Brew Dude – a hat that dispenses beer for the college student who would rather party than study.
• Broadview Security - a parody of the actual Broadview Security commercials that infer that women living alone in large houses are the most likely to be victimized by any man she meets (including male family members, androgynous singer K.D. Lang, and two kids using a trenchcoat to pose as an adult).
• Budd Light – a parody of the Bud Light "Bring Out Your Best" ad campaign, featuring Robin Williams and Joe Piscopo as two ice hockey players at a faceoff. The payoff comes during the voiceover, when Piscopo says of Williams, "He ain't so bad. I don't know why my wife ran off with him." The two men drop gloves and fight as soon as the puck is dropped. The ad ends with Williams and Piscopo sitting on the ice and sharing a beer with gap-toothed smiles.
• Buffy the Vampire Slayer – a promo for The WB series announces that with Seinfeld leaving the air, Buffy Summers would be moving to New York and her show would become a Buffy/Seinfeld hybrid. ("A show about nothing... and vampires!") Guest host Sarah Michelle Gellar is Buffy/Elaine; the rest of the Seinfeld characters are vampires.
• Bug-Off – Rather than simply killing a cockroach, this bug trap painfully tortures them and "gives them a lot to think about." The trap supposedly creates a signal that encourages the cockroach to enter, then adhesive glue holds the bug fast (much like a rat trap). Then, three tweezers stretch the legs in opposite directions til they snap off. Then a white-hot metal coil comes down and burns off the bug's reproductive glands of as well as making a sizable hole. Then the bug is beat senseless by its own dismembered legs. Finally, two pieces of cotton stuffed into the cockroach's orifices as food is dangled in front of it. Two kids are seen peering gleefully through a patented "viewing window".
• Buh-Weet Sings – All grown up, Buckwheat from Our Gang (Eddie Murphy) has recorded a compilation of songs sung in his own and very personal style, such as "Fee Tines a Mady," "Una Panoonah Banka," "Wookin' Pa Nub" and, in a dedication to his friend Alfalfa, "Barbah ob Dabill."
• Buon Giorno, Ireland, Buon Giorno – an Italian singer (Don Novello) performs Irish songs in his native language.
• Burger Master – a fast food restaurant where people can get their burgers done any way they want—no matter how weird or disgusting the requests.

C

• C.E.O Dreamboats – a magazine with famous businessmen as objects of desire for teenyboppers.
• Calvin Klein Cream Pies – a parody of the Andie MacDowell Calvin Klein Jeans commercials. Julia Louis-Dreyfus plays an annoying jeans model who gets hit in the face with a custard pie after one of her shallow, rambling stories.
• Canis Cologne for Dogs – parody of a Calvin Klein fragrance ad.
• Caribbean Essence Bath Oil – foaming, scented bath enhancer that causes a West Indian man (Tracy Morgan) to pop up during the bath and carry his bathers across a beach.
• Carl Weathers for Governor – Following in the footsteps of his Predator co-stars Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jesse "The Body" Ventura, Carl Weathers promotes himself to be the next governor in any state that will take him.
• Carter 'N Sons BBQ – A barbecue commercial from 2002 is aired seven years later with disclaimers stating that Carter 'N Sons "Swine Fever" marketing tagline is in no way connected to the current swine flu (H1N1 virus) epidemic.
• The Chameleon XLE – a luxury car on the inside, a dilapidated wreck on the outside—the better to deter the high risk of theft that accompanies luxury cars. The car features a simulated transmission fluid leak, mismatched hubcaps (and one exposed wheel painted school bus yellow), coat hanger antenna... and a supple leather-and-wood interior.
• The Change Bank – parodying banking service commercials, the ad promotes a bank that only makes change. How are they able to be successful? "Volume."
• cheapkids.net – a website dedicated to the sale of shoddy items for babies and toddlers (i.e., expired immunizations, used pacifiers, defective clothes, etc.) for irresponsible parents.
• Chess for Girls! – a parody of the marketing of children's toys based on gender, this chess set (unrelated to the chess game in general) features pieces with Barbie doll-style bodies and chess piece heads, an accompanying dollhouse, beachwear, minivan, bubble blower, and so on. The tag line: "A classic game of strategy and wits... and bubbles!"
• Chewable Pampers – A line of Pampers diapers which contain flavor crystals that, once the diaper is soiled, turn into an edible treat.
• Chia Head – a parody of both the Chia Pet and Minoxidil, men with bald or receding hairlines use this product to give them nice green hair just like a Chia Pet. ("Not for use in salads!")
• Citizens for a Better America – Dr. Swen Gazzara (Gilbert Gottfried) proves the value of hard work in America by asking Ronald Reagan to personally give him a "hum job".
• Classic Sing-Along with the Drunken-Asses – album featuring popular songs as sung by inebriated office workers.
• Clearasil - a parody of the acne remedy that appeared in the recurring Sprockets skits, which parodied German pop culture. In the ad, a young woman uses Clearasil (pronounced with strong German accent) to clear up her pimples before a date. The tag line: "Clearasil! Macht das Pimplen Kaput!" (It should be noted that, in German, "pimplen" is a vulgar slang term for "sexual intercourse" akin to the English word "fuck.")
• Closet Organizer – A man in a blue Spandex suit (Will Forte) is hired to organize anything in a closet that someone throws in.
• Clovin Hind Jeans – parody of the racy Calvin Klein commercials that featured Brooke Shields. Season six cast member Gail Matthius plays Brooke in the commercial parody.
• Cluckin' Chicken – a fast-food restaurant's animated mascot, when asked why he tastes so good, gleefully describes the process by which he is killed, decapitated and eviscerated, then flame-broiled (then, displaying a schematic chart, describes how he is consumed, digested, and eventually eliminated through defecation).
• The Coke Side of Death – parody of Coca-Cola's The Coke Side of Life ad campaign.
• Coldcock Malt Liquor – Tim Meadows plays Billy Dee Williams in a parody of Williams' ads for Colt 45; with each sip from a tall can of this beverage, a cartoon fist is summoned from the can's side to whack the drinker upside the jaw. Ellen Cleghorne ("I ain't afraid of no beer!") also stars.
• Colon Blow – In a parody of high-fiber cereal ads (notably Total and its "how many bowls" campaign), an off-screen voice tells cereal eater Phil Hartman he will need 30,000 bowls of his usual cereal to equal the fiber content in a single bowl of Colon Blow. (Also promoted is Super Colon Blow, with fiber content equal to that of 2.5 million bowls of Hartman's regular cereal.) When the large numbers are quoted, a pyramid of the same number of bowls elevates Hartman into the ionosphere.
• Colonel Belmont's Old Fashioned Horse Glue – Will Ferrell stars as Langford T. Belmont, a man whose family has been in the horse glue business for generations. It is a parody of commercials that try to appeal to old-fashioned values and tradition.
• Compulsion – a "Calvin Kleen" disinfectant, a parody of Obsession perfume and featuring an obsessive compulsive spokesmodel (played by Jan Hooks).
• Cookie Dough Sport – parody of Gatorade sports drink for athletes wherein Gatorade is replaced with cookie dough i.e. being poured over a winning coach or gulped down after a hard work out.
• Corn Chip Nail Tips – Maya Rudolph and Tracy Morgan appear oin this parody of "hip" potato chip commercials, promoting corn chips that double as false fingernails.
• Count Chocula Silver – Count Chocula (Jimmy Fallon) promotes a newer version of his cereal made for the tastes of middle-aged people.
• Cracklin' Oat Flakes (Now with Ecstasy) – Will Ferrell wakes up to find that he has run out of his normal cereal, Cracklin' Oat Flakes. His wife then offers Cracklin' Oat Flakes, Now with Ecstasy. After one bowl, Ferrell creeps out his coworkers, makes out with Chris Parnell, then runs half-naked through the streets until he's seen in bed with a pacifier in his mouth and playing with a glowstick.
• Creeley's Soup – a sketch in which Gilda Radner, playing a child eating her soup, is annoyed by the announcer, who tells her that he will give her various things in exchange for her soup. She says "no" until she finally becomes frustrated and tells him, "No! Leave me alone! I'm eating!" The announcer then proceeds to tell her to take the little pieces of corn and shove them up into her nose. She asks why, and the reply is, "Because the Soup Man says so." She complies. After pouring the bowl of soup all over her nose (because according to the announcer "there's nothing better for a stuffy nose than nice hot soup"), the slogan for "Creeley's Soup" appears on the screen as the announcer intones: "Creeley's Soup – The Child Handler."
• The Crests and Troughs of Vernon Hawley, Jr. - featuring John Larroquette, the ad promotes an album about a Country-Western singer's bouts with alcoholism.
• Crystal Gravy – parody of the clear consumer products fad of the mid-1990s, specifically Crystal Pepsi commercials. Julia Sweeney enjoys a drumstick dipped in clear gravy straight from the jar, while Kevin Nealon gleefully splashes his face in the clear, gooey liquid.

D

• Dallas: The Home Game – Charles Rocket pitches a home board game for dysfunctional families who can now act out their issues the same way the Ewings do on the 1970s–80s drama "Dallas".
• Damn It, My Mom is on Facebook - a computer application that bowdlerizes teenagers' photographed wild antics and rebellious opinions from their mothers who have added them as friends on Facebook.
• Darnette Disposable Toilet – the toilet that you throw away after only one use. It takes just as many steps to install and remove as a regular toilet and costs $169.95.
• Daveheart - movie trailer to a Braveheart sequel focusing on William Wallace's cowardly brother, Dave Wallace (Gerard Butler).
• Dazola - a Native American woman (Denny Dillon) extols the virtues of a sandwich spread made of hallucinogenic mushrooms.
• Dell Stator's 99-cent Toad Ranch – "Home of the World Famous Dell Stator Toad Pit and the Dell Stator Patented Broiling Method, where we can guarantee you the best 99-cent toad steak you'll ever eat!"
• Dell Stador's Rabbit Hut – restaurant specializing in rabbit entreés, where customers choose, kill and prepare their own rabbit dinners.
• Derek Jeter's Taco Hole – Derek Jeter pitches a taco restaurant in his hometown of Pequannock, New Jersey (a lá Donald Trump's "House of Wings"), with a jingle sung to the Beach Boys song Kokomo.
• Die! Foreigner, Die! – movie trailer for an action movie with Sylvester Stallone and Chuck Norris out to kill anyone not legally living in the United States.
• Dillon Edwards Investments – a conservative financial company advertises in a deadpan tone that they are finally on the internet, with the only web address left by the time they got around to it: "clownpenis.fart."
• Direct Hits – George McGovern plays a general selling an album of military-themed rewrites of popular songs (e.g. "My Boyfriend's Back" is rewritten as "Deploy Dense Pack").
• Disco Meltdown – season six parody ad for a hip, new dance club in the reactor core of a nuclear power plant.
• Dissing Your Dog – Will Ferrell sells a dog training video for passive aggressive dog owners.
• Do You Know Me? – In a spoof of American Express ads, a soap-opera parody called "An Oval Office" (with Dan Aykroyd as Jimmy Carter and John Belushi as Bert Lance) suddenly becomes a credit card commercial when Lance, who has recently resigned under a cloud of controversy as Director of the Office of Management and Budget, begins addressing the camera.
• Dog Assassin – selling an alternative to euthanasia for your dog.
• Donald Trump's House of Wings – his own chicken wing restaurant, featuring Donald Trump as himself, Horatio Sanz as David Crosby, and four other castmembers (Seth Meyers, Kenan Thompson, Amy Poehler, and Maya Rudolph) as singing employees in chicken costumes. The jingle is set to "Jump (For My Love)."
• Don't Buy Stuff You Can't Afford – Pitchman Chris Parnell promotes a book about money management to a clueless couple (Amy Poehler and host Steve Martin).
• Dopenhagen and Happy Daze – David Carradine plays a cowboy who likes to get high on marijuana he can chew instead of smoke. Parody of Copenhagen chewing tobacco.
• Dorgmo – voiced by announcer Don Pardo, billed as "The Golden Shower of Danish Beer" (as a Weekend Update "sponsor," not an actual commercial parody).
• Dr. Porkenheimer's Boner Juice – parody of erectile dysfunction treatments, complete with the warning "If you experience an erection lasting longer than twenty-four hours, call up your friends and brag about it." Incidentally, the commercial is either edited out completely or re-edited when rerun on NBC and E!; the originally aired version was more graphic, ending on a shot of Rob Riggle with an enormous erection.
• Dr. Uncle Jimmy's Smokehouse and Outpatient Surgical Facility – a shady clinic that offers semi-professional surgery and mediocre barbecue cuisine.
• Dropping the L.B.'s With Missy E – Missy Elliott (Tracy Morgan) pitches a workout video featuring her impossible-to-imitate dance moves.
• Drums, Drums, Drums – Chevy Chase's album featuring his drum solos.
• Duncan Hines Brownie Husband - a brownie treat shaped like a life-sized man, designed specifically for the single woman.
• Duster's Digest – a magazine similar to High Times, only now appealing to PCP addicts instead of marijuana smokers.
• DynaCorp – an announcer (voice of Chris Parnell) confuses Jessica Simpson with food products similar to Chicken of the Sea-brand tuna. The ad parodies Simpson's remark on the MTV reality show Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica, where she asked Nick Lachey if Chicken of the Sea was tuna or chicken.
• Dynasty's Greatest Fights – Linda Evans (played by host Pamela Sue Martin) and Joan Collins (played by castmember Pamela Stephenson) promote an album featuring Dynasty's greatest catfights.
• Dyson Toilet – Parody of Dyson vacuum cleaner ads.

E

• Easy Date – Parody of eHarmony and other matchmaking websites. All of the matches are alluded to be between prostitute and client.
• Ed McMahon's School of Laughing – a school that trains people who want to make money by performing on laugh tracks.
• Eddie Murphy—Good Samaritan – promo for a TV show about former SNL castmember Eddie Murphy (played by fellow black castmember Tim Meadows) giving aid to transvestite prostitutes (parodying the incident where Murphy was pulled over by police for suspected pandering while giving a transvestite prostitute a ride in his car).
• Einstein Express – an express courier service that handles late-arriving packages by literally sending them back in time to the desired arrival date. The slogan: "When it absolutely, positively has to be there the day before yesterday."
• Elián! The Cuban Boy – promo for Disney-produced Broadway musical about Elián González (the real-life young boy turned over to his father in Cuba after resistance from relatives in Florida), with Christopher Walken as Fidel Castro.
• "Energy for a Gullible America" – parodies Exxon's "Energy for a Strong America" campaign. Don Pardo is the voiceover announcer for a spot decrying high production costs for elaborate oil-company commercials and offering this as an excuse for high energy prices.
• The Englehart Five – The German quintet's new album has Helga Englehart (Eva Longoria) and her three brothers (Rolf, Fritz, and Juergen; Fred Armisen, Bill Hader, and Seth Meyers respectively) singing songs about their brother Klaus' (Will Forte) death in a hunting accident with Rolf, who is now on trial for murder.
• Enzo – an early 1980s commercial parody for mouthwash made after Ozzy Osbourne (played by Tim Kazurinsky) gets entrails stuck in his teeth from biting the heads off bats.
• EternaRest Coffin Mattresses – padding that outlasts the corpse in caskets.
• Eych! – "Eych! It's the only hairball remover that cats ask for by name." A spoof of Meow Mix, but instead the cats cough in an exceedingly funny manner.
• Excedrin RT- Queen Latifah plays a businesswoman who takes an aspirin to combat "racial tension" headaches (the "RT" in the product name) brought on by interns asking questions about the stereotypical behavior of black people.
• Exclusive Connections – Paris Hilton promotes a sex chat line catering to nerds who are interested in science fiction and fantasy movies.

F

• FX-70 Cheese Slicer – Candice Bergen pitches a Polaroid camera that dispenses cheese slices.
• Fear Factor, Jr. – promotion for the latest installment of the NBC reality show Fear Factor; Joe Rogan (Fred Armisen) coerces children to perform dangerous and disgusting stunts, as on the regular Fear Factor. Rob Riggle appears (uncredited, a year before he was hired by SNL) as the father of a child who must eat maggots from a plate of eggs Benedict, or his parents will divorce.
• Federline – Kevin Federline (Ashton Kutcher) pitches his new line of underwear to extricate himself from the shadow of his wife Britney Spears; shot in black-and-white, similar in style to early Calvin Klein commercials.
• Felina Cat Food – In a parody of onsite supermarket taste-test commercials, a TV pitchman dupes a housewife into eating tuna casserole made from cat food.
• First Citiwide Change Bank – bank specializing in making change and exchanging old worn currency for new crisp bills; profits by volume; parodies 1980s "talking head" bank advertisements.
• Flex – deodorant laced with steroids that provoke its users to behave like animals.
• Fresh Baseball – Bob Uecker's new drink made from pureed baseballs.
• Fried Chicken Fields Forever – VH-1 movie promo for a biopic about the trials and tribulations of Beatles members Paul McCartney (Alan Cumming) and John Lennon (Jimmy Fallon) opening a chicken restaurant.
• Fruit Loops - poet Maya Angelou (David Alan Grier) extols the virtues of the Kellogg's cereal in her typical flowery, emotional, hyperbolic prose ("We're ALL Loopy!"). (See also "Pennzoil," below.)
• The Fruiting – a movie trailer spoof for a horror flick where citrus fruits attack a family living in a haunted mansion.

G

• Gandhi and the Bandit – movie trailer spoof for Smokey and the Bandit-type movie with Ben Kingsley in the starring role.
• Gangsta Bitch Barbie – new Barbie doll perpetuates stereotypes of black people living in the ghetto (the doll comes with Jolly Ranchers, a pack of Newports, and a restraining order against her boyfriend, Tupac Ken). Parodies use of hip hop culture in advertisement.
• Galactic Prophylactic – prophylactics made with a steel core for extra durability. Parodies the Ron Popeil infomercials.
• Gary Busey Motorcycle Helmet – following Gary Busey's near-fatal helmetless motorcycle crash, this clip features Phil Hartman as Busey endorsing a new line of protective headgear. On top of the helmet is an enormous foam rubber "helmet protector," and also mentioned a "helmet protector protector," which was too large to be shown.
• Gaystrogen – a parody of the Estroven hormone drug; for men over 45 suffering from "queer loss."
• Gidget Goes to Shock Therapy – A psychiatrist (Jane Curtin) interrupts a sketch featuring three women acting like little girls to report that they all suffer from a mental disorder that makes them act childish.
• Girls Gone Wild—Katrina – Doug Stanhope (Jason Sudeikis) videotapes college girls stranded in the flooded city of New Orleans and offers them fresh water and beads in exchange for them flashing their breasts and "going wild."
• The Goombahs – Cashing in on HBO's successful franchise The Sopranos, Showtime creates its own show about a Mafia boss and his family.
• Grable and Lombard – movie trailer spoof about the lesbian wedding of Betty Grable and Carole Lombard.
• Graffiti: Say No – Rudolph Giuliani cracks down on graffiti artists defacing the city by adding insults next to their handiwork.
• Grayson Moorhead Securities – lampoons brokerage companies projecting a tradition of competence and trustworthiness, where the founding principles include making a list of clients, investing in white-owned businesses, and keeping the list in a safe place.
• Grimaldi's Classic Creations – a crying baby-Jesus figurine that screams 24 hours a day from Christmas Day to Three Kings Day (January 6). (Nancy Walls, Mark McKinney)^[3]
• Gun City – a "Crazy Eddie"-type pitchman (Joe Piscopo) offers guns as Christmas presents.

H

• Handi-Off – a topical treatment used for removal of excess fingers. ("Also try new 'Toe-Riffic!'")
• Happy Fun Ball – a seemingly simple children's toy with dozens of disclaimers for absurdly dangerous health hazards and life-threatening properties. "Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball," and "Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin" among them.
• Harley's Bristol Cream – a parody of Harvey's Bristol Cream, in which Gilda Radner gets progressively drunker on the product and begins shouting out of her apartment window at passersby, trolling for dates.
• Have a Nice Day – a trailer for a horror movie where smiley faces haunt potential murder victims.
• Hedley and Wyche: The British Toothpaste – spoofs the stereotype that the British, by and large, have poorly maintained teeth by showing them using a toothpaste sweetened with sugar. Mike Myers starred in this parody and later recycled the joke in an Austin Powers film.
• Heil Hits – a spoken-word album featuring Adolf Hitler's speeches.
• Hey, You – a perfume for women in search of a one-night stand.
• Hell (A Message from the Almighty) – parody of 1980s Michelob commercials in which Jon Lovitz, Randy Quaid, Damon Wayans, Anthony Michael Hall and others are shown celebrating their latest conquests in the business world and living the good life, until the end of the commercial where they all burn in Hell for living spiritually bankrupt, avaricious lives.
• Helmsley Spook House – Leona Helmsley (played by Nora Dunn) creates a haunted house with the same style, class, and obedient workers as her hotels.
• Herbal Essences Shampoo – A shampoo that when applied causes the person to react in a sexual manner.
• HiberNol – parody of NyQuil ads featuring a cold medicine designed to knock a person out for the entire cold and flu season. Phil Hartman appears as the onscreen announcer. "From the makers of Coma-Dose!"
• Hire The Incompetent – a temp agency that offers unskilled workers for hire; first appearance of Gilda Radner's recurring character Roseanne Roseannadanna.
• Holding Your Own Boobs Magazine – ad for a magazine featuring male and female celebrities cupping their breasts; spoofs the numerous copy-cat magazine covers that re-created Janet Jackson's famous 1993 Rolling Stone cover. Features Sarah Michelle Gellar and Will Ferrell.
• Home Security Decoy – mannequins posing as criminals already breaking into a house to trick real thieves into thinking it's already being robbed.
• Homocil – a special drug that helps reduce the stress of parents whose male children express homosexual tendencies. The tag line: "Because it's your problem, not theirs."
• Horror Movie Trailers – During Anthony Perkins' monologue, the audience is shown trailers for ill-conceived horror flicks like "Driven to School" (about a boy whose mother won't let him walk to school) and "Dressed to Kill" (preceding the Brian DePalma movie of the same title, this one is about women duped into purchasing clothing with fatal features like spikes that stab anyone attempting to come into physical contact with them). A similar monologue was done on the episode hosted by Christopher Lee (who shows these movie trailers as examples of the horror genre's artistic decline). The movie trailers in the Christopher Lee monologue were: The Island of Lost Luggage (impatient passengers searching for their luggage at the airport), The Thing That Wouldn't Leave (an obnoxious houseguest who's worn out his welcome), and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Rogers (a parody of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in which a scientist creates a potion that turns him into Mr. Rogers).
• How to Order Sushi Like a CEO – a pompous executive (Matt Dillon) promotes a book on how to order at sushi restaurants, all the while patronizing a sushi restaurant waitress (Maya Rudolph).
• Huggies Thong – useless diapers shaped like thongs; parodies the increasing phenomenon of the sexualization of young children, and parents who allow their children to dress in risqué, revealing clothing more suited for adults.
• Human Hair Potholders – Squeaky Fromme (Laraine Newman) and Sandra Goode (Jane Curtin) sell potholders made from their own hair.

I

• Infiniti Toilets – Mike Myers in two toilet ads (same style as the Jonathan Pryce Infiniti J30 commercials). The toilets advertised have such features as a slide-in cupholder and a non-stick coating.
• Interbank - A husband and wife (Will Ferrell and Molly Shannon) extol the aforementioned bank that sends black ops to find your stolen travelers checks.
• I Do Not Agree with Many of This Administration's Policies – Neil Young's (Kevin Spacey) latest album features less than subtle songs criticizing George W. Bush's administration.
• Iranian Joke Book – Charles Rocket pitches a book on how to fake kidnappings and executions from Iran
• iPhone – Fred Armisen plays a man who uses his iPhone to keep his relationship with his pregnant wife separate from his affair with a French-Canadian woman whom he loves more. (In the NBC rebroadcasts, this was replaced with another iPhone ad, this time with Jason Sudeikis as a man who uses his iPhone to elude the police.^[4] )
• I-Sleep Pro: A sleep aid that helps black people fall asleep using sounds they're used to hearing, such as bass music, dialogue from the movie Friday, domestic arguments, dialogue from Tyler Perry sitcoms, and an old woman complaining about her foot pain (With the exception of the bass music, all the voices were provided by Jay Pharoah).
• I Was Not a Sucker for Saturday Night – Laraine Newman (as her recurring character Sherry) pitches a book about her risqué encounters with the male writers of Saturday Night Live.

J

• J.J. Casuals – Jack Johnson (Andy Samberg) promotes shoes shaped like bare feet for those who are as casual as he is.
• Jackass: The Musical – promo for a Broadway play featuring the dangerous stunts from MTV's Jackass.
• Jamitol – parody of Geritol in which a husband (Chevy Chase) extols the virtues of the multivitamin that has kept his wife (Michael O'Donoghue) working to the point of exhaustion. "My wife. I think I'll stuff her!"
• Jams – carries the Smucker's slogan ("With a name like Smucker's, it has to be good!") to absurd extremes, promoting jams that taste so good that the manufacturers dare to give them horrible and disturbing names. Most members of the first-season cast appear as spokesmen, each trying to outdo the other on the "best" jam in the following order:
  • Jane Curtin – Fluckers: "It's got to be good!"
  • Chevy Chase – Nose Hair: "You can imagine how good it must be... mm–mm!"
  • Dan Aykroyd – Death Camp: "Just look for the barbed wire on the label!"
  • John Belushi – Dog Vomit & Monkey Pus: "This stuff has got to be terrific!"
  • Chevy Chase – Painful Rectal Itch: "The taste? (kisses fingers)"
  • Dan Aykroyd – Mangled Baby Ducks: "Great jam! Beautiful jam!"
  • John Belushi – 10,000 Nuns and Orphans (Jane: "What's so bad about that? John: They were all eaten by rats!") "Oh so good!"
  • Garrett Morris then brings in a jar that's "So disgusting you can't say it on television!"
• Jar Glove – In a parody of the black-and-white dramatizations of someone struggling to perform an everyday task without the use of the product being sold, a housewife (Kristen Wiig) accidentally kills her husband (Jason Sudeikis), resists arrest, is sentenced, goes to prison, plots and executes an escape, and hides out from prison guards—all because she struggled with opening the lid on a jar without benefit of the Jar Glove.
• Javis Homer Security System – a commercial that begins as a diaper ad featuring a man (Will Ferrell) reminiscing about the first time he changed his baby's diaper. The baby's mother (Ana Gasteyer) enters the room, yelling, "Who the hell are you?!" and the man makes a frantic escape out the window while the mother cries and holds her baby in fear.
• Jenson Mint – phony dollars and coins for rich people who want homeless panhandlers to leave them alone once and for all. (The 60-minute syndicated version has the middle-finger gesture on the backs of the coins and the dollar bill digitally obscured, and on a late-night NBC rerun, the ad parody was edited out entirely.
• Jewess Jeans – Gilda Radner models these jeans in this parody of Jordache jeans (and, to a lesser extent, Levy's rye bread). The tag line advises that "no one has to be Jewish" to wear Jewess ("but it wouldn't hurt," Radner adds).
• Jiffy Express – When you forgot your package had to be at its destination yesterday, Jiffy says "We'll take the package... AND the blame" by back-dating packages and simulating shipping delays.
• Jiffy Pop Air Bag – Eat popcorn while you're waiting for the ambulance to arrive.
• Jogger Motel – "Joggers jog in, but they don't jog out."
• Joe Dude, Joe Hetero, Joe Caucasian, and Joe Not-a-Rapist – promos for Fox reality shows based on Joe Millionaire, where a bachelor tricks female contestants into thinking he (or in the case of "Joe Dude," she) is male, heterosexual, white, or not a rapist. Another "Joe Millionaire" parody titled Joe Huge Penis was shown in the dress rehearsal of the Jeff Gordon/Avril Lavigne episode, but didn't make the live show.
• Jon Hamm's John Ham - the actor promotes ham you can eat while sitting on the toilet, complete with a dispenser similar to that of toilet paper.^[5]
• The Jones Brothers – a pair of drug-addled street hustlers (Anthony Michael Hall and Damon Wayans) sell everything from computers, TVs, stereos, pocketbooks (with ID), and cable television by stealing the merchandise themselves and "eliminating the middle man."
• José Cuervo Institute – college student (Randy Quaid) touts the party school's medical care program after he is injured from being used as a human battering ram (shown during the earlier game-show sketch "Jose Cuervo's Party School Trivia Bowl").

K

• K-Put Price-Is-Rite Stamp Gun — a price-stamp gun that allows shoppers to freely alter the prices of various goods (particularly groceries) in their own favor.
• Kannon AE-1 — a camera "so simple, so advanced, even Stevie Wonder [as himself] can use it!" Spoof of Canon AE-1 SLR.
• Kate & Ali — a series of promos for a spoof of Kate & Allie—only instead of two divorced women, it's screen legend Katherine Hepburn (Martin Short) sharing a domicile with boxing great Muhammad Ali (Billy Crystal).^[6]
• KCF Shredders — Lampoons fast food industry's marketing to kids, in this case with lettuce. "Now with How Stella Got Her Groove Back action figures!"
• Kotex Classic — a very large sanitary napkin which includes a belt, and is clearly visible under a woman's clothing, very much like the sanitary napkins worn by women and girls of the 1950s.

L

• Lansford Brothers & Associates: Hangmen-At-Law – Businessman brothers (Will Forte and Bill Hader) offer professional Texas-style lynchings.
• "Law & Order: Parking Violations Unit" – parody of the numerous "Law & Order" spinoffs that were premiering at the time. It featured Steven Hill reprising his Law & Order role as Adam Schiff, District Attorney of New York County.
• Lemon Glow – an ex-biker chick (Molly Shannon) wistfully recalls her drugs-and-sex days while cleaning the middle-class home she's conned herself into.
• Leland-Meyers Home Headache Test (HHt) – Home test designed to determine if one is really having a headache or not, requiring the tester to "draw a moderate amount" of one's own blood, place a drop on the test strip, and wait two hours. If the spot turns blue, you have a headache! Parody of home pregnancy tests featuring Kevin Nealon & Janeane Garofalo.
• Liberty Mutual – Wilford Brimley (John Goodman) pitches Liberty Mutual Medical Supplies delivery company. He begins by explaining how, with "dye-a-beetuss", he has to take extra care of his health, but continually qualifies, and admits to exaggerations, until by the end, he's described hiding a "food boner" over a delivery of $200 worth of pork ribs to his house, never having moved fast enough to sweat, and the fact that he may not even have diabetes—his doctor "just thinks I look like the kinda guy who would have it."
• Lincoln Financial — An investment company whose slogan is "Get to know the future you." In its commercials, airline passengers encounter future versions of themselves; in one, they have oral sex under a blanket; in another, the future passenger has undergone gender reassignment surgery.
• Litter Critters – A kit that allows children to take their cat's fecal waste and mold it into fun figurines. "♪♫ When you hear a scratch, here comes a batch — It's time for Litter Critters! ♪♫"
• Little Chocolate Donuts — "decathlon champion John Belushi" promotes "The Donuts of Champions" in this parody of Bruce Jenner's Wheaties ads. Marv Albert provides voiceover.
• Long White Beard – "The polite way to let people know you've been waiting." Featured various cast members and actors wearing obviously fake, long, white beards in situations where someone has kept them waiting.
• LooseBear – a hallucinogenic laxative that makes you dream you're being chased by a hungry bear, thus "scaring the crap out of you."
• Lori Davis Hair Spray as Exciting hold - An infomercial spoof promoting an evironmentaly conscious hair spray with no alcohol in it, featuring guest host Christina Applegate as Cher, Chris Farley as Lori Davis, and Phil Hartman as "Brad in the Lab."
• The Love Toilet – Victoria Jackson & Kevin Nealon share the most intimate moment of them all... features a single-based toilet with two seats placed so that the seated users can face each other. "Because when you're in love, even five minutes apart can seem like an eternity."
• The Lung Brush – used every night by heavy smoker Chris Farley to remove quarts of tar from his lungs before going to bed with wife Victoria Jackson ("Did you forget to brush?"). Former NFL quarterback Ken Stabler makes a celebrity endorsement cameo.
• Lux 420 SL – the car for the insane; designed by such notables as Nostradamus and featuring an in-console sink for compulsive hand-washing, along with enough trunk space to hold copious vials of one's own urine. Also featured the jingle: "There's a radio in my fingernail...CAR!!"

M

• Madonna Navel Accessories – In a parody of the "Lucky Star" music video, pop star Madonna (played by Pamela Stephenson) promotes a kit designed to accentuate a girl's midriff.
• Magic Mouth – a device which is inserted into the rectum and converts flatulence into "polished expressions" (e.g. "Did you see Charlie Rose last night?").
• Man Bra – Chris Farley pitches a bra meant for overweight men who have excessively large breasts, with the slogan "Man Bra! For that brawney brawney man!"
• MartinSheen - a hair spray which consisted of guest Martin Sheen sipping water from a paper cup and spitting it on Jane Curtin's hair as she pitched the product, pausing occasionally to nod in agreement with her statements (e.g. "MartinSheen is eco-friendly. You wouldn't dream of hurting the environment, would you?")
• Mary-Kate & Ashley Perfume – The perfume that fits your mood, whether you're an Ashley or a Mary-Kate. A female voice-over whispers "Ashley" to one activity and "Mary-Kate" to one in contrast.
• Maybelline For Men – Finally, cosmetics for guys.
• McIntosh Jr. – an elementary-school cafeteria parody of early Macintosh computer ads. "McIntosh Jr.: The Power to Crush the Other Kids!"
• McIntosh Post-It Notes (sic) – parody of the Apple Newton MessagePad.
• Meat Wagon Action Set – a model racing set with crash-and-burn action and an ambulance; a Mainway product.
• MeHarmony.com – a 2000s parody of eHarmony promotes a matchmaking website for narcissists. Various SNL castmembers have dual roles as both the happy MeHarmony client and (in drag) their perfect mate. The ad also promotes an upcoming sister service, the gay matchmaking site HeHarmony.com.
• Mel's Char Palace – Mel (Dan Ackroyd) promotes his steakhouse located on "Route 17, Paramus" where you select your own steer, cuts and portions.
• Mentl – a movie trailer about a mentally unstable Barbra Streisand (Joe Piscopo). A parody of the Streisand movie "Yentl".
• Mercury Mistress – A spoof of luxury-car ads, this ad promotes "a car so sexy, you'll just want to have sex with it" (because a rubber vagina is hidden behind its license plate).
• Metric Leisure Time – Promoting the adoption of a one-hundred-hour-per-day "Metric Leisure Clock," this parody reflected the late-70s effort to convert the United States to the metric system by suggesting that everyone would have many hours of leisure if they crammed one hundred hours into a single day.
• Metrocard – a credit card ad starring Roseanne Barr as a sassy customer service representative and Phil Hartman as a business traveler in need of assistance. Says Barr: "Yeah, like I've got nothing better to do than to sit around and listen to him bitch!" The ad parodied a series of Citibank credit card ads that told a customer's story from the point of view of both customer and service representative.
• Michael Jordan Feminine Hygiene Products and Michael Jordan X-Rated Video Library – included during Jordan's opening monologue as SNL guest host in 1991, this pre-taped skit plays on the familiarity of the popular athlete as a wholesome pitchman.
• Michael Phelps Diet – Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps shows his "eat whatever you want, and as much as you want" diet which is almost certainly fatal to anyone who isn't an Olympic athlete due to its high caloric count (12,000 calories, which is the actual number of calories Michael Phelps was required to eat while training). Jared Fogle appears, stating "this diet sucks a foot long."
• Middle American Van Lines – A moving company that moves families instead of their belongings.
• Milsford Pure Spring Water – Tom Bodett narrates as a bottled water's unusually "rich history" is re-enacted: Rather than share a spring with neighboring Dunbee, the town of Milsford brutally destroys Dunbee and most of its residents — "over 107 ... days ago. You probably heard about it on the TV."
• MMMPH! – a trivia board game where the only clue allowed is muffled shouting.
• The Mob – a waitress relates the story of how she saved her business by becoming involved in organized crime.
• Mohawk Master – Dan Aykroyd pitches a shearing device that gives you the perfect mohawk.
• Mom Celebrity Translator – A handheld electronic device that allows young'uns to decipher what well-known celebrity their unhip mothers are trying to describe to them.
• Mom Jeans – They fit Mom just the way she likes it! "She'll love the 9-inch zipper and casual front pleats!" Fictitiously sold at J. C. Penney.
• Mommy Beer – beer packaged in baby bottles.
• More Duets That Prove That I Am the Best Singer in the World – Celine Dion (Ana Gasteyer) releases an album in which she sings duets with today's hottest music stars and ends up ineptly stealing their thunder.
• Mostly Garbage Dog Food – Dog lover Jason Sudeikis gets his priorities straight by serving bagged garbage to his canine pal as a money-saving measure due to current economic issues.

N

• Navy Adventure (Port of Call: Bayonne, New Jersey) – Instead of training and missions, this spot featured the sailors doing other things, such as cleaning toilets, peeling potatoes, and doing laundry. "It's not just a job; it's $96.78 a week!"
• NBC Fall Season – parody previews of several shows, such as "Black Vet" (a super-earnest drama about a black Vietnam veteran as a practicing veterinarian), allegedly on the upcoming fall schedule.
• NBC Holiday Preview – Bill Murray promos holiday specials with parakeets playing human roles. In a similar feature, costumed birds parodied films like "Lawrence of Arabia" with a dubbed-in vocal impression of Peter O'Toole.
• NBC ID – spoof of the slogan "NBC: Proud as a Peacock." Five-second display of animated NBC logo accompanied by the jingle "NBC: Smart as a Peacock."
• NBC: Our Age Is Showing – self-parody of NBC's 1981–1982 ad campaign "Our Pride Is Showing."
• NBC Promos – featuring promos for the complete line-ups for several evenings of programming in which the voiceover announcer, apparently indicating the network's embarrassment over the arguable quality of the sitcom "Blossom," speaks more quickly and quietly whenever mentioning that show.
• Nebulzitol (No-Balls-At-All) – featured a husband and wife engaging in sex during a sporting event. A throwback to the Balz-Off parody.
• Nerf Crotchbat – a parody of Nerf's glut of products and seemingly desperate straits where new product ideas are concerned; an off-scale baseball bat made from nerf material. Chris Farley and Rob Schneider, with a group of children, are bored. Suddenly, Farley gleefully announces, "CROTCH BAT!!" The bats appear and the group wields them, repeatedly striking each other in the genitals while typical commercial theme music plays. Also advertised is "Nerf Crotch Missile" and "Nerf Nerf," a formless plasmatic blob of Nerf foam material.
• Network Battle of the T's & A's – parody of both 1970s television specials featuring stars from the three major American TV networks (Battle of the Network Stars) and of the trend of "T & A" ("tits and ass") programming featuring suggestively clad women.
• Neutrogena Coin Slot Moisturizer – parody of various Neutrogena ads for specialized moisturizing products. Featured host Lindsay Lohan and feature player Kristen Wiig as young women in low-rise jeans. Premise is that since new fashions increasingly leave your coin slot exposed to sun and wind, a special moisturizer is required to keep it soft and supple.
• New Shimmer – Gilda Radner and Dan Aykroyd play a couple having an argument over whether New Shimmer is a floor wax or a dessert topping ("It's a dessert topping, YOU COW!"); Chevy Chase (as a product demonstrator) steps in and demonstrates to the couple (and the audience) that "New Shimmer is a floor wax AND a dessert topping!"
• Nicotrel – a parody of smoking-cessation products featuring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson as ex-Army soldier Nick Cotrell, who beats up a wimpy husband (played by Chris Parnell) to get him to quit smoking. At the end of the sketch, other wrestlers (including Mick Foley, Paul "Big Show" Wight, and Paul "Triple H" Levesque) join in the action.
• Nikey Turkey – Featuring Chris Rock, this parody offers the perfect Thanksgiving solution to a small turkey for a large gathering: "Pump it up!" It references the then-popular athletic shoe feature called the Reebok Pump.
• Nike Air Force – features castmembers Fred Armisen, Bill Hader, Will Forte, Kenan Thompson, Andy Samberg, and Jason Sudeikis playing basketball and messing up, which ends with Samberg getting injured.
• "No, Bruce! Let Me Finish!" The Best of Celebrity Tirades – Following the real-life incident in which he mercilessly berated a movie-production crew member for simply moving a lighting rack, Christian Bale (played by host Bradley Cooper), in an attempt to take some heat off of himself, hawks a DVD of footage featuring other celebrities, such as George Foreman (Kenan Thompson), Joan Cusack (Abby Elliot), Mad Money's Jim Cramer (Darrell Hammond), and Nathan Lane (Bobby Moynihan) screaming at crew members for their perceived incompetence, with all proceeds going to Bale's legal defense fund.

O

• Old Glory Insurance – a parody of older celebrities (such as Wilford Brimley and Alex Trebek) promoting insurance for senior citizens. Sam Waterston, in a deadpan performance as "Paid Spokesperson," touts the advantages of the only life insurance company to provide full coverage against the leading killer of the elderly: attacks from robots that feed on the medications the elderly often use.
• Only Bangkok – parody of Las Vegas's "What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas" commercials, shown in three parts. In part one, a businessman (Seth Meyers) calls his friend for the number of a Dutch man who can help him remove a Thai hooker who ended up dead after he had sex with her. In part two, Ben Affleck (playing himself) sells his wife (played by Amy Poehler) to two burly mob members after losing a bet during a Russian Roulette match. In the final part, Seth's businessman character is back and on the phone with the Dutchman about the removal of a dead prostitute—but this time the prostitute is a male! Also joining the businessman is Affleck in a pink robe, earrings, and wearing make-up (who asks the Dutchman [played by Darrell Hammond] if he's interested in buying panda meat) and a paranoid Kelly Ripa (in a cameo appearance) wielding a meat cleaver and exhorting the businessman to cut the prostitute up and put the remains in a bag.
• Oops I Crapped My Pants – a brand of adult diapers, a parody of Depends, and a play on the use of statements as product names (e.g. "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!").

P

• Pan Am – In the style of a political ad, this parody lists the family leave benefits of a number of European countries compared with the paltry benefits that would have been introduced by the Family and Medical Leave Act of 1991, which was vetoed by then-president George H. W. Bush. It then switches to a scene of an airplane departing, stating "Pan Am has one-way tickets to..." followed by the same list of European countries.
• Pay-Less Beer – appears briefly as a sponsor during Weekend Update. Consists entirely of a still photo of a can of the product and a Brooklyn-accented male voiceover: "Pay-Less Beer. Why pay more?"
• The Paradox – Two automotive design teams produced two completely opposite cars (e.g., one was the most expensive car ever, the other the cheapest; one was the safest, the other designed to throw flaming victims hundreds of feet in a crash). In the end, the two were combined to create The Paradox.
• Pennzoil – endorsed by poet Maya Angelou (David Alan Grier) with typically flowery, emotional, hyperbolic prose. (See also "Fruit Loops," above.)
• The People's Second Choice Awards – spoof of the People's Choice Awards.
• Pepto-Bismol Ice - the famous pink antacid in malt liquor form.
• Personal Product – Gilda Radner extols the virtues of a product for women that's so personal no one can say what it is or what it does.
• Petchow Rat Poison – parody of misleading labels, Hank Petchow's brand of rat poison looks like dog food, is packaged in a 25 lb. bag with "PetChow" in large print, has a large photo of Petchow's dog, and the words "rat poison" in very fine print.
• Philadelphia – a line of action figures along with a video game (which is actually footage from the Sega Genesis port of Galaxy Force II) based on the 1993 film of the same name.
• Phone Company – Features Lily Tomlin as a grouchy, apathetic operator who relates the goings-on and imperfections of her company. "We don't care. We don't have to. We're the Phone Company."
• The Platinum Mach 14 – the razor with 14 blades; a parody of the multiple-blade razor fad when the Gillette Mach3 and its competitors' clones were released.
• The Players-With-Yourself Club – Telly Savalas (Phil Hartman) promotes a discount card for chronic masturbators.
• Pre-Chewed Charlie's – a steakhouse for people with dentures, where the waiters come to your table and chew your food for you. This parody loosely satirized a small chain of restaurants near Times Square in New York City called Beefsteak Charlie's.
• Preparation H – Skateboarding dudes, including Jimmy Fallon, plug Preparation H in urban slang ("I'm about ta drop an H-BOMB on dis rizzoid!").
• Punk'd Barely Legal: Ashton Kutcher (played by host Justin Timberlake) releases a DVD of his Punk'd pranks that were never shown on TV due to legal issues, such as Fred Durst (Jeff Richards) getting mugged, Christina Aguilera (Maya Rudolph) suffering from morning sickness after Kutcher steals her birth control pills, and 50 Cent (Finesse Mitchell) shooting Dax Shepard (Will Forte) dressed as a vampire (which, to Kutcher, is a "double punk" because Dax didn't know he was going to get shot and 50 Cent didn't know the vampire was Dax).
• Puppy Uppers and Doggie Downers – Gilda Radner complains to Laraine Newman that her dog Sparky has no energy, so Newman recommends Puppy Uppers. Later, when the dog is hyperactive (and quite a bit smaller), Radner complains that "Sparky's perked up a little too much," so Newman recommends dosing him with Doggie Downers.
• Pussy Whip – the first dessert topping for cats (a sponsor of Weekend Update rather than an actual commercial).

Q

• Quarry — the breakfast cereal made from rocks, parodying the glut of "natural," earthy, and crunchy (deafeningly, in this case) granola-based cereals popular in the mid-1970s. The tag line: "Better tastin', 'cause it's mined!"

R

• RAD 3000 — a smoke detector that plays songs of the 80's.
• ReaganCo. — Charles Rocket demonstrates how you can show your patriotism by way of Ronald Reagan wallpaper, cosmetics, and bathroom tiles.
• Royal Deluxe II — 1970s car commercial parody that demonstrates the smoothness of the car's ride by having a mohel perform a circumcision in the back seat while the car is driven at forty miles per hour on a bumpy road. (The ad it was spoofing featured a gemcutter cutting a diamond in the back seat of a moving car.)
• Rubik's Grenade — Rubik's Cube parody; "May be the last puzzle you'll never solve." Another Rubik's cube commercial parody is Rubik's Teeth, a set of dentures that act as a Rubik's cube.
• Russel & Tate Law Firm — and ad for a law firm whose partners are two intimidating black men with extensive "resumés" who repeatedly pledge to "git your money."

S

• Salon – spoofs commercials for Vidal Sassoon hair care products. Features David Spade as a "flamboyant" beauty salon operator pitching a hairspray that is activated by saying "salon" repeatedly (in the exaggerated French manner, with a sibilant 'S' and the accent on the first syllable). He teaches Victoria Jackson how to say it "properly."
• Scented Automobile Exhaust – features Gilda Radner smiling as she crouches near a tailpipe.
• Schmitt's Gay – spoofs beer companies targeting specific demographics. Two gay men (Chris Farley & Adam Sandler) are housesitting and are discouraged at the filthy condition of the backyard pool. When the water is turned on, however, it magically transforms into a sparklingly clean pool filled with attractive, and presumably gay, men wearing bikini swim trunks, with whom both characters end up cavorting merrily. (The original broadcast and subsequent rebroadcasts shortly thereafter featured the Van Halen song "Beautiful Girls," but later syndicated broadcasts and home video releases use generic rock guitar riffs produced by the SNL band, presumably due to licensing costs. Phil Hartman was the announcer for both versions).
• Shimmer – See entry above, "New Shimmer."
• Shirt in a Can – Tim Meadows spills something on his shirt, so he sprays on this product.
• Short & Curly – The shampoo men use to keep their pubic hairs clean and shiny. Also features Short, Dark, Curly, and Lovely, "but that, my friends, is strictly for the brothers".
• Sleepy Boy 2000 – Tim Kazurinsky A weapon that detects and destroys cars when their alarms go off, enabling the weapon's owner to get a good night's sleep.
• Sofa King – furniture store ad featuring a family of apparent Middle Eastern origins with thick accents. Everything in the ad is promoted with the adjective "Sofa King" (as in, "It's Sofa King comfortable!"), but the accents make it sound like "so fucking."
• Speed – Veteran SNL writer Anne Beatts makes a rare on-screen appearance as a housewife able to happily multi-task, thanks to Speed, the diet pill you don't have to be overweight to use, obtainable from your doctor, your neighbor's doctor, your college roommate's doctor, etc.
• Spitzer and Associates – Following his resignation due to the sex scandal involving his money laundering and dalliences with high-priced call girls, Eliot Spitzer (Bill Hader) is now opening a private practice dealing with embarrassing sex-related lawsuits (such as slips-and-falls in gay bathhouses, injuries caused by faulty vibrators, and retrieving German porn that has been seized by U.S. customs).
• Spud Beer – made from potatoes. This is the Insane Asylum version. Writer Alan Zweibel appears as an electroshock subject who enjoys Spud because it's the beer for people who can't taste the difference. "Spud! The beer that made Boise famous!"
• Spud Beer – the beer that almost brought the Beatles together...Season #5...this is the "Boat People" version, (Nov 17th, 1979)...a bunch of Asians on a boat of "Boat People" refugees are dejected, until somebody breaks out a gunny sack of Spud Beer, and soon all the giddy boat occupants hold up a can of Spud as an announcer does a V.O. (Voice Over)...
• Steve Martin's All-Natural Penis Beauty Cream—New Formula – a parody of the celebrity infomercial boom.
• Stop-a-Nut – Protect yourself from muggers and the homeless by wearing an enormous (yet supposedly comfortable) metal suit.
• Sub Shack – a parody of the Subway Jared Fogle ad campaign, with customers of the fast-food restaurant gaining weight rather than losing it.
• Super Bass-O-Matic '76 and Super Bat-O-Matic '77 – parody of Ronco ads featuring Dan Aykroyd pureeing raw fish (and bats) in a blender. "MMMmmm! That's good bass!"
• Super Colon Blow – parody of Total cereal that parodies the traditional commercial of the multiple bowls representing the equivalent amount of fibre, only the number is a massive tower of bowls since the cereal advertised is made up of inedible wood twigs.
• Suppressex – an anti-arousal medicine taken to prevent erections from occurring at inopportune moments.
• Swiffer Sleepers – parody of Swiffer ads with children's blanket sleepers designed to pick up dust and dirt as they crawl.
• Swill — Bill Murray extols the qualities of this putrid mineral water "dredged from the bottom of Lake Erie," the packaging of which looks nearly identical to Perrier. A highlight is the slow pouring of Swill from the bottle, set to the refrain of Carly Simon's "Anticipation," a song used to promote another slow-pouring food item at the time, Heinz Ketchup.

T

• Taco Town – a restaurant parody of Taco Bell, advertising a new taco with layer after layer of outer crust, finished with a Chicago-style pizza and blueberry pancake, and "deep fried to perfection." Andy Samberg says of the product, "Pizza? Now that's what I call a taco!"^[7]
• Tech-Pack – A man (Jason Sudeikis) shows a harried woman (Kristen Wiig) at the airport a new wearable pouch system that can hold and activate all electronics (mp3 players, PDAs, cellphones, etc.) with a joystick, but scares other passengers because of its uncanny resemblance to a suicide belt.
• Teddy Bear Holding a Heart – a spoof of a De Beers commercial, where a guy gives his sweetheart a teddy bear holding a heart for Valentine's Day, the gift available practically everywhere.
• Texxon – An image ad shown during "network newsbreaks," including those following the Buckwheat assassination, ostensibly touting the philanthropic efforts of that petroleum company; they successively degenerate into thinly veiled threats of dire consequences if various legislation under consideration doesn't go the company's way, supposedly forcing it to scale back efforts to assist the needy: "Texxon. Do what we say, and nobody gets hurt."
• That's Not Yogurt! – spoof of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" ads. After eating the product, a couple (Victoria Jackson and Kevin Nealon) becomes very concerned about what the mysterious product actually is, but the coy announcer won't tell them. "From the makers of Those Aren't Olives!"
• The Clams – movie trailer spoof for director Brian DePalma's rip-off of Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds."
• The Looker – Penny Marshall (Fred Armisen) stars in a new crime drama as a police interrogator who gets suspects to sign confessions simply by staring at them for long periods of time.
• Three-Legged Jeans – "And hey, no dumber than acid-washed!" The chorus of the reggae-tinged theme music features the catchphrases "Three at last" and "A leg and a leg and a leg" sung together.
• Tim and Meat's One-Stop Rocky Horror Shop – Tim Curry and Meat Loaf (both appearing as themselves) are proprietors of a store with props and costumes based on the 1975 cult film The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
• Tortumatic – the ultimate way to show others that you can take pain. Charles Rocket demonstrates it, getting punched repeatedly by a number of boxing gloves, and slamming his hand with a mallet.
• Tressant Suprème – Kelly Ripa spoofs the numerous hair coloring ads in which she has appeared. In this parody, Ripa prefers Tressant Suprème because it contains "just a little bit of crack cocaine," thus explaining her well-known "peppy" persona.
• Trilocaine – a scalp-itch medication with extremely disturbing side effects. "90% of users experience an instantaneous and horrifying sleep paralysis containing a bleak vision of mortality."
• Triopenin – arthritis medication in a bottle that's virtually impossible to open.
• Triple Trac Razor – a razor with three blades because the consumer is gullible enough to believe what he sees on TV commercials (this was written in the years before razors had progressed past two blades).
• Trump Plaza – parody of Pizza Hut from December 1993, about some grey bearded men in a spaceship and a voice-over singing 'NICK NICK NICK NICK!' (instead of 'HARDY HARDY HARDY HARDY!'). As a parody, the so-called restaurant would have served food different from pizzas (it still used the same 'Red Roof' logo as the real-life restaurant it was parodying). It is one of the rarest Saturday Night Live commercial parodies, and, of course, one of the most difficult to find.
• Turlington's Lower Back Tattoo Remover – a product that, "when applied once every hour for 72 straight hours," slowly burns away unwanted lower back tattoos. "That tingling means it's working!" Tagline: "Because it won't be cool forever."
• Tylenol B.M. – a laxative product shown to cause you to defecate while you sleep.

U

• Uncle Jemima's Pure Mash Liquor – A not-so-subtle barb at products that perpetuate racial stereotypes, specifically Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben's, and also referencing Uncle Remus as shown in scenes similar to those in Disney's animated film Song of the South.
• Under Underground Rock Festival – Starring Jason Sudeikis as DJ Super Soak, Nasim Pedrad as DJ Little Blaster, and Bobby Moynihan as Thrilla Killa Klownz member Ass Dan (who was said to have died in 2009: this is a common running gag in Under Underground sketches, as Ass Dan has died in three sketches (twice in 2010 and once so far in 2011); once after the premiere of a Thrilla Killa Klownz music video, again during the "Crunkmas Karnival" commercial in which he pops out of a casket and says, "I'm gonna live forev--" before being cut off by a memorial still, and once again during the "Crunk-Ass Easter" commercial). Pokes fun at the crazy promotions at alternative concerts (which include live alligators, free pitchforks, and a chance to have sex with the Iron Sheik), crazy special guests (who range from Dirk Nowitzki to C. Everett Koop), as well as the extremes people will go to defy conformity. ("We've got bathrooms. They're called...YOUR PANTS!). The promoters were also featured in a Christmas sketch, with even crazier promotions, such as the first aid kit being full of snakes, an appearance by Joanna Kern from Growing Pains, and a Toys for Tots-esque charity called "Wack-Ass Junk For Immigrants." Done in the style of advertisements promoting the Gathering of the Juggalos.
• United Way with Peyton Manning – Manning (as himself) in a spoof of self-serving philanthropic public-service ads by popular athletes. Documentary-style, he is shown "mentoring" children; what ensues is Manning physically and verbally abusing the kids during a football game (hitting kids in the back of the head with a football and sending one of them to sit in a Port-A-Let for messing up a play), and afterwards teaching his charges how to break into an SUV, exploiting a little girl to get a date with an attractive woman, showing kids a tabloid magazine featuring Angelina Jolie, drinking beer in front of them, and admitting that he would kill anyone who snitches on him.
• Urigro – parody of male enhancement medications; a pill that gives its male users an absurdly long and strong stream of urine.
• UPS – starring Bill Hader as ad man/actor Andy Azula, making fun of the prevalence of Azula's ad campaign as well as his hairstyle.
• Uvula Public Service Spot – Chevy Chase as a physician urging Gilda Radner and the audience to take proper care of the uvula, without ever saying what the uvula actually is. (It is a small piece of flesh that hangs down from the rear portion of the soft palate and requires little, if any, maintenance.)

V

• Valtrex – A husband repeatedly affirms his fidelity to his wife during a commercial for a pill that treats genital herpes.
• Veritas Ultrasound HD – Instead of a tiny monitor, the ultrasound is displayed on a widescreen HD television. It even has options to display a football helmet on the fetus (for dads-to-be missing a Sunday football because they're accompanying the wife to see the ultrasound).

W

• Wade Blasingame: Not the ballplayer, the Attorney-at-Law – the lawyer (Will Ferrell) people call to sue dogs. Ad features Chris Parnell acting like a dog.
• Weston Collection "I'm #1" Hat - Will Ferrell stars as a man who has everything, and now has the hat to let everyone know. A mesh hat that says "I'm #1."
• Wilson Trap Doors – office trap doors that effectively do away with unwanted guests, clients or employees.
• Wilson Countersink Flanges and Dorry Flanges – Phil Hartman narrates this commercial for technically complex industrial supplies (with Chris Farley and Rob Schneider).^[8]
• Woomba – a self-operating electronic feminine hygiene product that knows when women should use it, whether they want to or not; a parody of the Roomba automatic vacuum system.
• Wrangler Open Fly Jeans – Open jeans to let the male private area breathe

Y

• Yard-a-Pult – A product created to launch unwanted trash/deceased pets/etc. over your fence rather than going to the time and expense of disposing of them otherwise.
• Yum Bubble – A fruit-flavored bubble gum that controls genital herpes.

References

1. ^ "SNL Archives | Episodes | Details". Snl.jt.org. 1975-10-11. http://snl.jt.org/detail.php?i=1975101118. Retrieved 2011-10-17. 
2. ^ American Taser, a transcript from http://snltranscripts.jt.org/
3. ^ "SNL Transcripts: Anthony Edwards: 12/02/95: Grimaldi's Classic Creations". Snltranscripts.jt.org. http://snltranscripts.jt.org/95/95ggrimaldi.phtml. Retrieved 2010-05-19. 
4. ^ "SNL Transcripts: Brian Williams: 11/03/07: iPhone II". Snltranscripts.jt.org. http://snltranscripts.jt.org/07/07diphone2.phtml. Retrieved 2010-05-19. 
5. ^ "Saturday Night Live - Jon Hamm's John Ham - Video - http". //www.nbc.com. 2011-09-24. http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/jon-hamms-john-ham/788590/. Retrieved 2011-10-17. 
6. ^ [http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/kate-and-ali/1351153 "Kate & Ali" SNL sketch from NBC.com
7. ^ Taco Town from http://danwho.net
8. ^ Wilson Countersink Flanges and Dorry Flanges, a transcript from http://snltranscripts.jt.org/

External links

• Saturday Night Live Archives
• TVScout.ca Fake SNL Commercials in Canada