Dating abuse

Dating abuse

Dating abuse or dating violence is defined as the perpetration or threat of an act of violence by at least one member of an unmarried couple on the other member within the context of dating or courtship. It is also when one partner tries to maintain power and control over the other through abuse/violence. This abuse/violence encompasses all forms: sexual assault, sexual harassment, threats, physical violence, verbal, mental, or emotional abuse, social sabotage, and stalking.

Dating violence crosses all racial, age, economic and social lines. The Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness describes dating abuse as a "pattern of abusive and coercive behaviors used to maintain power and control over a former or current intimate partner."[1] The Family & Community Development support group at eCitizen in Singapore has described what it calls tell-tale signs of an abusive relationship.

These can include psychological abuse, emotional blackmail, sexual abuse, physical abuse and psychological manipulation.[2]


Profiles of abuser and victim

Individuals of all walks of life can find themselves in an abusive relationship. Abuse can occur regardless of the couple's age, race, income, or other demographic traits. There are, however, many traits that abusers and victims share in common.

The Centre for Promoting Alternatives to Violence describes abusers as being obsessively jealous and possessive, overly confident, having mood swings or a history of violence or temper, seeking to isolate their partner from family, friends and colleagues, and having a tendency to blame external stressors.[3]

Meanwhile, victims of relationship abuse share many traits as well, including: physical signs of injury, missing time at work or school, slipping performance at work or school, changes in mood or personality, increased use of drugs or alcohol, and increasing isolation from friends and family.[4] Victims may blame themselves for any abuse that occurs or may minimize the severity of the crime. This often leads to victims choosing to stay in abusive relationships.

Strauss (2005)[5] argues that while men inflict the greater share of injuries in domestic violence, researchers and society at large must not overlook the substantial minority of injuries inflicted by women. Additionally, Strauss notes that even relatively minor acts of physical aggression by women are a serious concern:

'Minor' assaults perpetrated by women are also a major problem, even when they do not result in injury, because they put women in danger of much more severe retaliation by men. [...] It will be argued that in order to end 'wife beating,' it is essential for women also to end what many regard as a 'harmless' pattern of slapping, kicking, or throwing something at a male partner who persists in some outrageous behavior and 'won't listen to reason.'

Similarly, Deborah Capaldi [6] reports that a 13-year longitudinal study found that a woman's aggression towards a man was equally important as the man's tendency towards violence in predicting the likelihood of overall violence: "Since much IPV [Intimate Partner Violence] is mutual and women as well as men initiate IPV, prevention and treatment approaches should attempt to reduce women's violence as well as men's violence. Such an approach has a much higher chance of increasing women's safety."

Warning Signs

Emotional Abuse

  • You are afraid of your date
  • You are afraid of making him/her angry and are unable to even disagree with him/her.
  • He/she has publicly embarrassed and humiliated you.

Psychological Abuse

  • Your date threatens to use violence against you or against himself/herself.(e.g. "If you leave me, I will kill myself".)

Sexual Abuse

  • Your date forces you to have sex with him/her.
  • You are afraid to say 'no' to his/her demand for a sexual act from you.
  • Your date does not respect you, but is only interested in gratifying his/her sexual needs.
  • He/she does not care about the consequences of the sexual act or how you feel about it.

Physical Abuse

  • You were subjected to some physical attacks by your partner
  • Your date has held you down, pushed you, or even punched, kicked or threw things at you

Controlling behaviour

  • Your date has tried to keep you from seeing your friends
  • You are restricted from contacting your family
  • You are even forced to choose between him/her and your family and friends.
  • Your date on knowing where you are at all times and demands that you justify everything you do
  • He/she will be furious if you spoke with another man/woman
  • He/she expects you to ask permission before seeking health care for yourself
  • Your date dictates what you wear and how you appear in public

See also


  1. ^
  2. ^ Family and Community Development @eCitizen. Warning Signs of Abusive Relationship
  3. ^ Centre for Promoting Alternatives to Violence
  4. ^ Dating Violence, (ACADV)
  5. ^ Strauss, Murray A. (2005) "Women's Violence Towards Men Is the Serious Social Problem." In D.R. Loeske, et al., eds. Current controversies in family violence. Newbery Park: Sage Publications.
  6. ^ "quoted in Sacks, Glenn. (2009) Researcher Says Women's Initiation of Domestic Violence Predicts Risk to Women." on, 06 July 2009. URL retrieved 09 September 2009.

External links

Canadian resources
  • RespectED, Provided by the Canadian Red Cross, give information to teens, parents, and teachers about abuse in dating relationships.
UK resources
US resources

Wikimedia Foundation. 2010.

Игры ⚽ Нужно сделать НИР?

Look at other dictionaries:

  • Loveisrespect, National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline — was launched February 8, 2007 by the [ National Domestic Violence Hotline] . This 24 hour national Web based and telephone resource was created to help teens (ages 13 18) experiencing dating abuse, and is the only helpline in… …   Wikipedia

  • Dating violence — is defined as the perpetration or threat of an act of violence by at least one member of an unmarried couple on the other member within the context of dating or courtship. This violence encompasses all forms: sexual assault, physical violence,… …   Wikipedia

  • Abuse — This article is about the mistreatment of people or systems. For other uses, see Abuse (disambiguation). Mistreat redirects here. For other uses, see Mistreat (disambiguation). Contents 1 Types and contexts of abuse 1.1 …   Wikipedia

  • Dating Violence Awareness Week — This article is about a Singapore awareness week. For general information, see Dating violence. Dating Violence Awareness Week is an annual event in Singapore each February 7th to 14th to draw attention to dating violence, particularly amongst… …   Wikipedia

  • Dating — This article is about the form of courtship. For other uses, see Dating (disambiguation). Double Date redirects here. For the episode of How I Met Your Mother , see Double Date (How I Met Your Mother). For the episode of The Office , see Double… …   Wikipedia

  • Teen dating violence — is a pattern of controlling behavior by one teenager over another teenager who are in a dating relationship. The behavior includes, but is not limited to, physical abuse, emotional abuse, and sexual abuse. Although 40% of teenagers in the United… …   Wikipedia

  • Cycle of abuse — This article is about the cycle of violence within one person s pattern of abuse. For a broader pattern of violence and intergenerational cycle of violence, see Cycle of violence. The four phases of the Cycle of Abuse The cycle of abuse is a… …   Wikipedia

  • Psychological abuse — Classification and external resources ICD 10 T74.3 ICD 9 995.82 Psychological abuse, also …   Wikipedia

  • College and university dating — College dating is the set of behaviors and phenomena centered around the seeking out and the maintenance of romantic relationships in a university setting. It has unique properties that only occur, or occur most frequently, in a campus setting.… …   Wikipedia

  • Elder abuse — Relationships Types …   Wikipedia

Share the article and excerpts

Direct link
Do a right-click on the link above
and select “Copy Link”