Douche and Turd

"Douche and Turd"
South Park episode
The Turd Sandwich campaign rally
Episode no.	Season 8 Episode 8
Directed by	Trey Parker
Written by	Trey Parker
Production code	808
Original air date	October 27, 2004
Episode chronology
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South Park (season 8) List of South Park episodes

"Douche and Turd" is the eighth episode of the eighth season of the animated television series South Park, and the 119th episode overall. It first aired on Comedy Central in the United States on October 27, 2004, just before the 2004 presidential election. In the episode, PETA force South Park Elementary to change their school mascot, so a new election is held to determine a new mascot. Meanwhile, Stan ends up getting kicked out of South Park after refusing to vote.

The episode was written by series co-creator Trey Parker and is rated TV-MA in the United States.

Plot

During a pep rally at South Park Elementary, a group of local PETA eco-terrorists protest the use of a cow as the school's mascot (for "the 47th time"). The school agrees to pick a new mascot, and the students are told to vote for said new mascot. Embarrassed by the bland choices, the kids decide to fill in a joke candidate but disagree as to whether it should be a "giant douche" or a "turd sandwich". Kyle rallies his friends to fill in the giant douche, and Cartman gathers support for the turd sandwich. Cartman wins Butters' support (by slanting the question when asking Butters which of the two choices was funnier; "a not funny giant douche, or a super funny turd sandwich"), but Kyle wins Jimmy's favor (when Jimmy decides that although both are funny, the fact that the douche is giant renders it useless, adding a parody element to the satire). The result is the two joke candidates get the most votes and the students must choose between the two in an election.

Stan does not see the point in voting between a douche and a turd as they are exactly the same in his opinion, and declares that he will not vote at all, much to everyone's dismay. Stan is equally dismayed, wondering why anyone would care about such a pointless exercise. He talks about it with his parents at dinner, but his parents are not impressed with his apathy at all and even get into a fight over who should win when Stan explains who the two competitors are. This results in Kyle calling on Sean Combs, who intimidates Stan with a literal Vote or Die campaign. Meanwhile the campaign continues, with the turd sandwich supporters rallying against the giant douche supporters, using bribes and scare tactics to gain support.

By the time of the election, Stan agrees to vote after being chased by Combs and his associates through the streets with guns. However, he realizes Kyle only wanted him to vote in order for giant douche to win when Kyle sees he voted turd sandwich, and demands that he change his vote. Cartman encourages this—even going so far as to offer him a five-star dinner. Disgusted with this electoral process, Stan once again refuses to vote. The school administration decides that Stan must be banished from the town for all eternity or until he decides that voting is important. He is spat on by the townspeople while his shirt is ripped off piece by piece (Kyle tries to convince him one last time to vote giant douche) before being placed on a horse, bound with a bucket over his head, and sent off into the woods.

Stan is eventually released by the PETA members when he reaches their compound and they attempt to save the horse (they believe he was making the horse let him ride it against its will). Here he finds that the humans have grown intimate with the animals to the point of zoophilia, even a man interbreeding with an ostrich and producing a wretched hybrid that begs to be put out of its misery. Stan is unable to fit in at PETA, explaining his trouble to the leader of PETA. The PETA's leader teaches him that an election is always between a douche and a turd, because they are the only people who suck up enough to make it that far in politics. Combs shows up at the camp to kill Stan, but is distracted by a PETA member who throws a bucket of red paint (which PETA members do throughout the entire episode) on his fur coat. This breaks that last thread of control Combs has, and he takes his rage out on the PETA camp, with him and his posse killing all the members, except the hybrid. The animals do not care whatsoever about the death of the PETA members and flee without panic or remorse. Stan manages to escape the melee and flees the camp.

Returning to South Park, Stan is finally convinced to vote and chooses turd sandwich, when the head of the PETA compound tells Stan that, "every election is between a Giant Douche and a Turd". Despite adding his vote to the tally, the giant douche still wins the vote 1410 to 36. Stan is initially dismayed that his vote did not matter, but Randy informs his son that all votes matter even if it is for the losing side. Suddenly, Mr. Garrison runs in with the news that the PETA members have been discovered murdered. As a result, the cow is reinstated as South Park Elementary School's mascot. Randy tells Stan that now his vote did not matter, to Stan's annoyance at having gone through so much for nothing.

Politics

According to Nick Gillespie of Reason magazine, this episode "pretty much sums up how most libertarians approach politics."^[1]

Also, the episode is an allegory for the 2004 presidential election.

References

1. ^ Harkinson, Josh. The Apostles of Ron Paul, Mother Jones (January/February 2008)

External links

• Douche and Turd Full episode at South Park Studios
• Douche and Turd Episode guide at South Park Studios