My Old Man (Said Follow the Van)

My Old Man is a music hall song written by Fred W. Leigh and Charles Collins, made popular by Marie Lloyd.

It is a humorous song, but it also reflects some of the hard aspects of working class life in London at the beginning of the 20th century. The couple, in the song, are obliged to move house quickly in the middle of the night, because they cannot pay rent. They fill up the van with their possessions. But there is not room for the wife, so the husband instructs her to follow the van, which she does, carrying the pet bird.

The chorus of the song is well-known.

My old man^[1] said "Follow the van,

And don't dilly dally^[2] on the way".

Off went the van wiv me 'ome packed in it,

I followed on wiv me old cock linnet.^[3]

But I dillied and dallied, dallied and I dillied

Lost me way and don't know where to roam.

Well you can't trust a special like the old time coppers

When you can't find your way 'ome^[4]

An alternative to the last two lines is:

Who'll put you up when you've lost your bedstead,

And you can't find your way 'ome?"

Another alternative to the last two lines is

I stopped on the way to have me old half quarten,^[5] now I can't find my way home

Another alternative is

"Well you can't trust a man when your life's in a van an' you can't find your way 'ome."

Another alternative is

I had to stop to have a drop of tiddly in the pub Now I can't find my way home.

Performances

Various lineups of the Clancy Brothers and Tommy Makem have performed the refrain as part of a medley, immediately following "They're Moving Father's Grave to Build a Sewer," which also deals with the travails of working class Londoners. Danny La Rue often sang it in performances.

In popular culture

• The song was sung near the conclusion of Ice-Cold in Alex by the three British officers.
• The song also appeared in the Sega Master System version of Lemmings, making its first appearance in the 17th level rated "Fun".
• In The Catherine Tate Show, during the Life at Ma's sketch (a spoof of Life on Mars), the last four lines are sung by Catherine Tate and a variety of other characters.
• The song also appeared in the episode Home Sick in Only Fools And Horses, being sung by Del Boy and Granddad, as well as the very start of The Sweeney pilot, Regan.
• The first verse and the chorus were featured in episode 211 of The Muppet Show, performed by Miss Piggy. In the Muppet fan community the song is better known as "Don't Dilly Dally On the Way".
• Jerry Seinfeld was shown singing this song in stereotypical English Pub sing-a-long for an American Express commercial.
• It opens Steven Berkoff's 1975 play, East.

Notes and references

1. ^ The singer's father or husband
2. ^ To dilly dally is to linger
3. ^ Caged song birds were very popular in Victorian and Edwardian England, and the male, or cock, linnet was common. Cock linnet is also Cockney rhyming slang for minute
4. ^ My Old Man, lyrics accessed 21 Jan 2007
5. ^ "Half quarten" was a slang expression for a measure of spirits (usually Gin) and was equal to 2½ Imperial ounces.

External links

• Full song lyrics