My Old Man (Football)

My Old Man song is a popular football song commonly sung by fans of English and Northern Irish soccer clubs.

It is sung to the melody of the song "Don't Dilly Dally (My Old Man Said Follow The Van)", popularised by Marie Lloyd.

: "My old man said be a (Own Club Name) fan": "And don't dilly dally [To "dilly dally" is to linger] on the way".": "We took the (rival club ground) in half a minute,": "We took (other rival footall team) and all that's in it": "With hatchets and hammers, Stanley knifes and spanners": "we'll show the bastards how to fight": "If you can't beat a (Main rival nickname) then your'e not a (own club name) fan": ALL TOGETHER NOW!

An example of this is Linfield Football Club

: "My old man said be a Linfield fan": "And don't dilly dally on the way".": "We took The Oval [Home of main rivals Glentoran FC] in half a minute,": "We took Coleraine and the bastards in it": "With hatchets and hammers, Stanley knives and spanners": "we'll show the bastards how to fight": "If you can't beat a Glenman in a half a minute then your'e not a Linfield fan": ALL TOGETHER NOW!

The shorter version:

My old man said be a fan, I said "Fuck off, bollocks, you're a cunt!"

The alternative shorter version:

My old man said be a fan, I said "Fuck off, bollocks, you're a cunt! Have a banana"

References