Dating coach

Dating coaches offer products and services to improve their clients' love lives.

Through discussion, role-playing, behavior modeling, and other forms of direction, a dating coach trains clients to meet and attract romantic partners. As dating coaches are unlicensed, their methods vary widely. Some coaches cover wide ranging disciplines, such as flirting, fashion, communication, self-esteem, evolutionary biology, psychology, dancing, and so on, while others focus more narrowly. Some may eschew dogmas altogether. They are different from matchmakers because they coach people on finding their dates whereas matchmakers arrange dates for their clients.^[1]

Dating coaches' rates are similar to those of professional counselors (e.g. $75–125/h) but can sometimes be much higher.^[1]

Technique

Dating coaches offer a wide range of services, such as electronic books and newsletters, personal coaching, small group seminars, and weekend workshops. One-on-one coaching can involve counselling and in-the-field coaching,^[2] which can involve practicing flirting^[1] or going out with a coach of the sex the client is attracted to on a mock date and being critiqued throughout the date.^[3] They teach pickup lines, how to conduct better conversations, how to dress, how to hug appropriately, and anything else that may help achieve success in dating.^[4] Common elements of dating coaches' tips include the need to decide what you are looking for and remain positive.^[1]

Some dating coaches specialize in helping with online dating.^[5] This could include helping people rewrite their online profiles to obtain better results,^[6] start initial email conversations, get professional photo shoots, and so on.

Dating seminars

Dating seminars are taught by coaches working for commercial dating companies. In these seminars, coaches teach participants to meet romantic partners. Sometimes dating coaches take the clients out in public to help the clients approach and seduce women.^[2] This method of teaching is heavily linked to the seduction community and the companies which cater to it. One of the first companies was Mystery Method Corp (now Love Systems) which pioneered taking men out to bars and clubs to teach men how to seduce women by first demonstrating it in person.^[7]

Different dating seminars can take vastly different approaches to the subject. Christian dating seminars, for example, may stress differences between love and lust and knowing one's own self-worth.^[8] Muslim dating seminars may also deal with how to find a mate without compromising religious principles.^[9]

Stigma

Dating coaching is stigmatized.^{[citation needed]} Many people believe that teaching romance is demeaning and unethical, while many others believe it is impossible. These disbelievers acknowledge that most people seek romantic advice, but argue that professional romantic coaching differs from amateur advice in scope and context.^[10]

Picture of Adam Lyons from an NBC article about dating

Others feel^[who?] that dating presents challenges unsuited to amateur intervention, and that chaotic dating norms and mixed social messages necessitate some form of instruction. Further, they feel that personal romantic barriers differ from other sorts of personal barriers so that coaching can be uniquely fruitful.^[11] Moreover, many argue that changing social norms have been particularly challenging for men. Because many economic and social obstacles to relationship dissolution have been eroded, sex appeal and relationship smarts may be necessary to compensate for devalued traditional traits, such as a strong work ethic or good and stable income.^[12]

There is evidence that the stigma against dating coaches is weakening. Both the recent film Hitch (featuring Will Smith) and the reality TV show The Pick-up Artist indicate a growing awareness of the presence of dating coaches in society and their function. While many dating coaches seek anonymity, others are well-known in the media, such as Nick Savoy (appearances on Dr Phil and Tyra Banks), as well as Erik Von Markovik (host of The Pick Up Artist with appearances on CNN and VH1), Adam Lyons (appearances on Fox, NBC and Channel 4), JT Tran (featured dating advice columnist for major publications like LA Weekly^[13] and Baller Magazine.^[14] Appearances on Saigon Broadcasting Television Network,^[15] Channel 5 ABC^[16] and CPR TV.^[17] Also interviewed by The Yale Herald,^[18] Yale Daily News,^[19] AsianWeek,^[20] and Nguoi Viet Daily News^[21] among others and founder and CEO of ABCs of Attraction), Chris Luna (The New York Times,^[22] Fox,^[23] Telemundo ^[24] and Martha Stewart Television^[25]).

See also

• Chhoti Si Baat, a 1975 Hindi film about a dating coach
• Hitch, a 2005 Hollywood film about a dating coach
• Partner, a 2007 Hindi film about a dating coach influenced from Hitch
• Seduction community
• Group dating
• Life coaching

References

1. ^ ^{a b c d} Ellin, Abby (2007-09-27). "The Dating Coach Is In ($125/Hour)". The New York Times. http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/27/fashion/27dating.html?_r=1&oref=slogin. Retrieved 2010-05-01. 
2. ^ ^{a b} Frustrated singles turn to dating coaches - U.S. business - MSNBC.com
3. ^ Express: A Publication of The Washington Post
4. ^ New Bravo series examines making matches for rich men | Freep.com | Detroit Free Press
5. ^ Alsever, Jennifer (2007-03-11). "In the Computer Dating Game, Room for a Coach". The New York Times. http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/11/business/yourmoney/11dating.html?_r=2&ref=technology&oref=slogin&oref=slogin. Retrieved 2010-05-01. 
6. ^ American Chronicle | If You Are Short, Fat, Older or An Asian Man, You Must Read This. But Especially If You’re Short
7. ^ Strauss, Neil (2005), The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, Regan Books, ISBN 0-06-055473-8
8. ^ Brown, Akeyla (2006-01-30). "Christian Dating Seminar". http://media.www.thehilltoponline.com/media/storage/paper590/news/2006/01/30/Campus/Christian.Dating.Seminar-1520704.shtml. 
9. ^ MacFarquhar, Neil (2006-09-19). "It’s Muslim Boy Meets Girl, but Don’t Call It Dating". New York Times. http://www.nytimes.com/2006/09/19/us/19dating.html. Retrieved 2010-05-01. 
10. ^ EzraKlein Archive | The American Prospect
11. ^ Westport Minuteman - Dating coaches spur serious relationships
12. ^ State of Our Unions 2007
13. ^ LA Weekly After Dark - Author JT Tran
14. ^ "Contributors". Baller Magazine. http://ballermagazine.com/?page_id=16. 
15. ^ Saigon Broadcasting Television Network's "Heart to Heart with Kristine Sa" interviews The Asian Playboy - video [1]
16. ^ Channel 5 ABC's Karen Homes interviews JT Tran (The Asian Playboy) - video [2]
17. ^ CPR TV interviews The Asian Playboy - Video
18. ^ "Bullblog tip-off: get picked up at “The Asian Playboy” Master’s Tea", The Yale Herald, February 9, 2011
19. ^ "J.T. Tran: Playboy, entrepreneur artist, love guru", Yale Daily News, February 11, 2011
20. ^ Cover Page of AsianWeek Magazine
21. ^ "New Year, New Friends", Nguoi Viet Daily News, December 31, 1999
22. ^ Copage, Eric (June 6, 2010). ["http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/07/nyregion/07dating.html?_r=1&src=twr For new pick-up lines pay $397 and go practice"]. Retrieved on November 5, 2010.
23. ^ . ["http://www.myfoxny.com/dpp/good_day_ny/dating-expert-20100618" Craft of Charisma Dating Coach interviewed on Fox's Good Day]. Retrieved on November 5, 2010.
24. ^ . "Aprendera un ser buen seductor". Retrieved on November 5, 2010.
25. ^ . "Whatever with Alexis and Jennifer interviews dating coach"