Business locations in A Series of Unfortunate Events

Many businesses appear in the children's book series "A Series of Unfortunate Events" by Lemony Snicket.

Anwhistle Aquatics

ASUE place
name = Anwhistle Aquatics


bgcolor = aqua
first = "The Grim Grotto"
later =
location = Above the Gorgonian Grotto and near Olaf-Land
size =
possession = Gregor Anwhistle
type = Marine Research Center

Anwhistle Aquatics is first mentioned in "The Grim Grotto".

Anwhistle Aquatics, a marine research and rhetorical advice center (it is mentioned in the section describing Lemony Snicket in The Wide Window that Lemony was working at the time in a rhetorical advice centre), was moderated by Gregor Anwhistle, an ichthyologist and Josephine Anwhistle's brother in law. An article from the Daily Punctilio states that Anwhistle Aquatics was burned down by Fernald, although Snicket discloses to the reader that Captain Widdershins also participated in the center's destruction.

One of Anwhistle Aquatics's roles was to investigate the Medusoid Mycelium. However, when it was burnt down, the Gorgonian Grotto was filled with the deadly fungus that was left behind. It also trained salmon under the Voluntary Fish Domestication program, until the entire fleet was seized by Café Salmonella.

It is implied that the sugar bowl once found its way to Anwhistle Aquatics, but had been removed by the time the Baudelaires reached the Gorgonian Grotto.

The Anxious Clown

ASUE place
name = The Anxious Clown


bgcolor = lightgreen
first = "The Wide Window"
later = Illustration in "The Penultimate Peril"
location = Coast of Lake Lachrymose
size =
possession =
type = Fast food Restaurant

The Anxious Clown is a fast food restaurant. In "The Wide Window", the Baudelaires, Mr. Poe, and Count Olaf (disguised as Captain Sham) eat there. Their waiter, Larry, says, "I didn't realize this was a sad occasion", a V.F.D. code.

Known customers include Mr. Poe, his sister, Eleanora, the Baudelaire children, and Count Olaf, and Jacques Snicket.

The menu includes the Extra Fun Family Appetizer (a bunch of things fried together and served with a sauce), Surprising Chicken Salad, and Cheer-up Cheeseburgers (cheeseburgers with the ingredients made into a smiley face).

According to Jacques Snicket in a letter to Lemony in "", the food there is dreadful.

Café Salmonella

ASUE place
name = Café Salmonella


bgcolor = salmon
first = "The Ersatz Elevator"
later =
location = Main City
size =
possession =
type = Seafood Restaurant

The Café Salmonella is a salmon-themed seafood restaurant mentioned throughout A Series of Unfortunate Events.

It first appeared in "The Ersatz Elevator" when Jerome Squalor (encouraged by his wife Esmé Squalor) took Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire there. According to Esmé, it is a very "in", or fashionable, restaurant. The café is located in the fish district. All waiters wear the waiter costumes described in "", using the salmon variety. The interior is completely decorated with salmon. There are also salmon in the flower vases instead of flowers.

All the food served contains salmon, with dishes such as Broiled Salmon, Chilled Salmon Salad, Creamy Salmon Soup, Salmon Ice Cream, Salmon Pie, Salmon Ravioli, and Salmon Puffs. Instead of using ice to keep drinks cool, the restaurant uses frozen chunks of salmon.

Caligari Carnival

ASUE place
name = Caligari Carnival


bgcolor = blue
first = "The Carnivorous Carnival"
later =
location = The Hinterlands
size =
possession = Olivia Lulu
type = Carnival

Caligari Carnival is a carnival in the book series by Lemony Snicket, "A Series of Unfortunate Events". It is the primary setting of "The Carnivorous Carnival", the ninth novel in the series.

The carnival was owned and run by Madame Lulu, a colleague of Count Olaf's. Among the carnival's assets were a ticket booth, phone booth, several caravans and tents, and a worn down roller coaster.

The carnival could be a reference to The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, a silent expressionist film that involves a freak show.

The carnival's prime attraction was the House of Freaks - featuring its stars, Colette the Contortionist, Hugo the Hunchback and the ambidextrous Kevin - all of whom believed wholeheartedly that they were unfit for the real world.

During the time of "The Carnivorous Carnival", a lion pit was added to the carnival. It is believed that the lions mentioned in The "Slippery Slope" (Volunteer Feline Detectives) were captured by Olaf from the Mortmain Mountains and brought to Caligari Carnival. The Baudelaire orphans also disguised themselves as freaks to hide out there - Violet and Klaus as Beverly and Elliott, a two-headed freak; and Sunny as Chabo the Wolf-Baby.

The carnival was destroyed by Count Olaf and his troupe along with Esmé Squalor, to hide the evidence of his having been there. According to "The Grim Grotto", the ashes and smoke from the fire were visible across The Hinterlands for days.

It is also mentioned by The Man With a Beard but No Hair and the Woman With Hair but No Beard, in "The Slippery Slope", that an important piece of evidence hidden inside a figurine was sold at Caligari Carnival. Retrospective reading shows that the figurine seller in "The Carnivorous Carnival" is given unusual emphasis for a character who never appears, but there has been no further mention of this.

Cathedral of the Alleged Virgin

ASUE place
name = Cathedral of the Alleged Virgin


bgcolor = red
first = "The Hostile Hospital" and "
later =
location = Lousy Lane
size =
possession =
type = Cathedral

Cathedral of the Alleged Virgin is cathedral metioned in "The Hostile Hospital" and '. While Lemony is writing down the Baudelaire children's stay at the Heimlich Hospital, he mentions he was for some reason also crouching down behind the altar of the Cathedral of Alleged Virgin, while a friend of his is playing a sonata on the pipe organ to drown out the sounds of his typewriter to not let it be heard by the worshipers sitting in the pews. The mournful melody of the sonata reminds Lemony of a tune his father used to sing while he cleaned the dishes, and refers to the expression that "music has charms to sooth a savage beast". In ', on the map of the city where most events in the A Series of Unfortunate Events series, it shows the Cathedral of Alleged Virgin, northeast of the Grim River, northwest of Uncle Monty's house, and farther northwest of the Hazy Harbor. It is also located on Lousy Lane.

Heimlich Hospital

ASUE place
name = Heimlich Hospital


bgcolor = purple
first = "The Hostile Hospital"
later =
location = Near Village of Fowl Devotees
size =
possession = Human Resource Director
type = Hospital

Heimlich Hospital is a hospital in "The Hostile Hospital", a novel of the series "A Series of Unfortunate Events" by Lemony Snicket.

The hospital is only half completed, one half being fully functional, and the other half being a wooden frame. The lawn-one half well kept and green, the other a large plot of dirt. One side has with the word 'Heimlich' written in fancy gold, while the other an old piece of a cardboard box with the word 'Hospital' written in ballpoint pen. The completed half is a beautiful white building with carved portraits of famous doctors above the windows. Parts of the hospital include an operating theater, a library of records, patient rooms, and supply closets. The supply closets contain a sink, alphabet soup, rubber bands, doctor's coats, surgical masks, and sometimes a window.

Known wards include the "Stubbed Toe Ward", the "Sore Throat Ward", the "Ear Ward", the "Ward for People with Nasty Rashes", the "Accidentally Swallowed Something You Shouldn't Have Ward", the "Plague Ward", and the "Surgical Ward".

Every day, the Volunteers Fighting Disease sing to the patients in the hospital and give them heart-shaped balloons to cheer them up.

The name "Heimlich" is a reference to Henry Heimlich, an American physician best known for the Heimlich Maneuver.

Heimlich Hospital is burned down by Count Olaf in the "The Hostile Hospital".

Hotel Denouement

ASUE place
name = Hotel Denouement


bgcolor = Pink
first = "The Penultimate Peril"
later =
location =
size = 10 Floors, plus a basement
possession = Frank, Ernest and Dewey Denouement
type = Hotel

The Hotel Denouement is a hotel in Lemony Snicket's series of novels, "A Series of Unfortunate Events". The hotel is the "last safe place" for the V.F.D.. It is a large building organized in the same way as a library, by the Dewey Decimal System. This is similar to the organization of the Library Hotel. It is owned by three identical triplet brothers, Frank, Ernest and Dewey Denouement, although Dewey remains in the shadows. The Hotel Denoument has exactly 10 floors, accordingly organized in concordance with the system, from the basement to the rooftop salon (not ranked numerically).

At the end of "The Penultimate Peril", the Hotel Denouement is burned down by Sunny Baudelaire to provide a signal to V.F.D. that the meeting planned for Thursday is canceled, as the last safe place is no longer safe. However, Lemony Snicket mentions that the real safe place was safe and never found by the enemy.

The words "HOTEL DENOUEMENT" and "ENTRANCE" on the front of the hotel, as well as the floor numbers, are all in mirror writing. There is a reason for this: the hotel is in front of a reflecting pond, and what appears to be its reflection in the pond is in fact the real safe place, containing many V.F.D. secrets, information on "everyone" ever involved or acquainted with V.F.D. The pond is also served as a signal for V.F.D showing to Dewey and Frank that volunteers are on the way. The Hotel was made with wood from Lucky Smells Lumbermill.

Floors

*Basement: "Information and general works"
*First Floor: "dedicated to philosophy and psychology" (p.63)
*Second Floor: "for religion", features "a church, a cathedral, a chapel, a synagogue, a mosque, a temple, a shrine, a shuffleboard court..." (p.63)
*Third Floor: "the social sciences", includes "ballrooms and meeting rooms" (p.64)
*Fourth Floor: "dedicated to language" (p.64) for foreign guests.
*Fifth Floor: "dedicated to mathematics and science" (p.64)
*Sixth Floor: "dedicated to technology" (p.64)
*Seventh Floor: "stands for the Arts" (p.64)
*Eighth Floor: "reserved for rhetorical guests" (p.62)
*Ninth Floor. "history and geography"
**Rooftop Salon.
** This section of the Hotel proves to be very significant. Violet finds Esmé Squalor, Carmelita, and Daily Punctilio reporter Geraldine Julienne here. Later in the novel, the siblings find themselves on the roof of the Hotel with Count Olaf. The children reluctantly join him in his ship - regrettably, as they must leave the caring but relatively unhelpful Justice Strauss as she supposedly perishes along with supposed others in the terrible fire of the Hotel Denouement.

Hotel Preludio

Hotel Preludio is a fictional hotel in The Series of Unfortunate Events. It is only mentioned in The Penultimate Peril to be a place the Baudelaires stayed at when their parents were still alive. Also Kit Snicket regards it, in the same book, to be "a lovely place". It makes no appearance in the books and is not portrayed in the film, Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events.

Dr. Orwell's Office

ASUE place
name = Dr. Orwell's Office


bgcolor = white
first = "The Miserable Mill"
later =
location = Paltryville
size =
possession = Georgina Orwell
type = Optometry office

Dr. Orwell's Office was where Georgina Orwell practiced optometry and hypnotism before her death. "The Miserable Mill" describes the building as a huge eye, being a mostly brown oval, which contains a white circle then containing a green circle, which in turn contains a round black door. It looks much like Count Olaf's tattoo. In the book the illustration differs slightly from the description. The waiting room inside the office is small, containing a sofa, chairs and magazines. Dr. Orwell's receptionist, Count Olaf, disguised as Shirley, has his desk in the waiting room.

Last Chance General Store

ASUE place
name = Last Chance General Store


bgcolor = tan
first = "The Hostile Hospital"
later =
location = Between Village of Fowl Devotees and Heimlich Hospital
size =
possession = Milt, the shopkeeper
type = General store

The Last Chance General Store's front is covered in posters advertising goods sold at the store. Telegrams can be sent from the store (for free if it is an emergency). The owner does not charge the Volunteers Fighting Disease for things.

The store sells fresh limes, canned meat, plastic knives, white envelopes, red wine, leather wallets, sleeping bags and much more. The floor is made of different types of tile, all for sale. The usefulness of such a General Store is undetermined.

The store appears in "The Hostile Hospital" and in the movie "Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events" during the events of The Bad Beginning. Count Olaf looks through magazines there as his plan to overrun the Baudelaires with a train fails.

Lucky Smells Lumbermill

ASUE place
name = Lucky Smells Lumbermill


bgcolor = orange
first =
later =
location = Paltryville
size =
possession = Sir and Charles
type = Lumbermill

Lucky Smells Lumbermill is a sawmill located in Paltryville, and is the site of most of the action in The Miserable Mill.

It is surrounded by a long wooden wall with one gate that has "Lucky Smells Lumbermill" stuck on it with gum. This sign is claimed to be the second most disgusting in the world, after a sign with the word 'BEWARE' spelt out with dead monkeys. In the mill, there is a dormitory, the mill itself, a storage shed, and a building where Sir and Charles work and live.

The workers at the mill aren't treated very well. They are forced to live in a windowless room (with the exception of the windows drawn on the walls with a ballpoint pen) in uncomfortable bunk beds. The only meals are gum for lunch (which is only 5 minutes long), and disgusting casseroles for dinner. All workers are paid with expired coupons. However, this could change because near the end of the book Phil reads in The Paltryville Constitution that it is illegal to pay workers in coupons. But is never said if the workers were ever paid with money. In the thirteenth book, a place called Lucky Smells Melon Farm is mentioned. It is possible that the Lumbermill was once a melon farm.

There is a library at the mill, but it only consists of three books:

#The History of Lucky Smells Lumbermill (donated by Sir)
#The Paltryville Constitution (donated by the mayor)
#Advanced Ocular Science (donated by Dr. Orwell).

Employees

*Sir - 1st Owner (CEO?)
*Phil - Worker (quit)
*Foreman Firstein - Foreman (retired, no further details given but his departure is consistent with that of people murdered by Count Olaf so that he or his associates can replace them)
*Bald Man with Long Nose A.K.A. Foreman Flacutono - Foreman (quit). His name is an anagram of Count Olaf.
*Violet Baudelaire - Worker (fired)
*Klaus Baudelaire - Worker (fired)
*Sunny Baudelaire - Worker (fired)
*Charles - 2nd Owner

Mulctuary Money Management

ASUE place
name = Mulctuary Money Management


bgcolor = darkblue
first = "The Bad Beginning"
later =
location = Banking District of Main City
size =
possession = Mr. Poe, Vice President of Orphan Affairs
type = Bank

Mulctuary Money Management is a bank located in the banking district of the city. Mr. Poe, executor of the Baudelaire estate, is Vice President in charge of Orphan Affairs. A teacher from Prufrock Preparatory School, Mrs. Bass, robs the bank prior to "The Penultimate Peril".

Prufrock Preparatory School

ASUE place
name = Prufrock Preparatory School


bgcolor = gray
first = "The Austere Academy"
later =
location =
size =
possession = Vice Principal Nero
type = Boarding school

Prufrock Preparatory School is a school in "The Austere Academy".

Named after "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" by T. S. Eliot, it contains a cafeteria, an administrative building, and a theater where Vice Principal Nero performs his dire violin concerts for six hours at a time. Its motto inscribed on the arch at the entrance to the school is "Memento Mori" which means "Remember you will die". There is a dormitory that is shaped like a tombstone (from the Baudelaire's point of view) or a big toe (from Mr. Poe's point of view) and made entirely of stone, in which students have to have a parent or guardian's permission to stay. Inside the dormitory, there is a living room, a game room, and a large lending library. All students have their own room and a fresh bowl of fruit every Wednesday. If parent or guardian's permission is not obtained, which the Baudelaires, the main characters of the series, cannot obtain because they are orphans, then pupils are forced to live in the Orphans' Shack.

The shack, called "The Orphans' Shack" since Duncan and Isadora Quagmire, two orphans, were forced to live there is made entirely of tin. Bales of hay can be used as beds. Tiny crabs scurry around on the floor. The walls are all painted bright green with tiny pink hearts, and a fungus drips from the ceiling.

The school has a number of bizarre and strict rules, irrationally similar to those of the orphans' previous guardians, thought up by Vice Principal Nero. If a pupil is late for class, their hands are tied behind their back for meals. Being late for a meal means having no cups to drink from (and drinks are poured straight onto the tray). Entering the administrative building is punished by not being allowed to use normal cutlery. Failure to attend Vice Principal Nero's nightly six hour long concerts is dealt with by having to buy Nero a bag of sweets and watching him eat them.

The Baudelaires are sent to live at Prufrock Preparatory in "The Austere Academy". While Klaus and Violet are students, Sunny is given the job of secretary to Vice Principal Nero, who is obnoxious and ignorant. Two fellow students and orphans, Duncan and Isadora Quagmire, become friends with the Baudelaires and figure prominently in several of the later books in the series. Carmelita Spats, another student, bullies and teases the Baudelaires and Quagmires unmercifully during their stay at the school, and also returns in several books.

There has been some speculation that Prufrock was a V.F.D. training school. Mr. Remora teaches note-taking skills, and Vice Principal Nero mentions that a bowl of fresh fruit is placed in the dormitory every Wednesday, which could be a very subtle reference to the sugar bowl. Nothing has yet been confirmed.

In The "Austere Academy", Count Olaf disguises himself as "Coach Genghis", a new faculty member at Prufrock, in his latest attempt to kidnap the Baudelaires and steal their fortune. Due to a switch around by the Baudelaires and the Quagmires, however, Olaf ends up kidnapping Isadora and Duncan instead. It is also hinted in The Beatrice Letters that the younger Beatrice Baudelaire may have attended this school also.

Staff

*Vice Principal Nero
*Mr. Remora (eats bananas while making his students memorize each detail in his short stories in Room One)
*Mrs. Bass (has an obsession for the metric system and has her students measure various items in Room Two)
*Sunny Baudelaire
*Two Cafeteria Workers (Later found to be the White-Faced Women in disguise)
*Coach Genghis (Count Olaf in disguise)
*There is also a mysterious librarian character - referred to in "" - who wears an unusual assortment of clothes and asks "Have you been good to your mother?" a question from the book "Ramona Quimby, Age 8", seemingly as a way to identify other V.F.D. members.

Students

*Carmelita Spats
*Duncan Quagmire
*Isadora Quagmire
*Violet Baudelaire
*Klaus Baudelaire

Valorous Farms Dairy

ASUE place
name = Valorous Farms Dairy


bgcolor = darkred
first = ""
later =
location =
size =
possession = Snicket Family
type = Dairy Farm

Valorous Farms Dairy is the birthplace of Lemony Snicket. Commonly mistaken by others to be a cattle farm, it is in fact a dairy farm and the place to which several of Snicket's letters (titled "Dear Dairy" in an effort to conceal information from potential enemies, who would mistake it for a misspelling of "Dear Diary") are addressed. At least one arson attempt has been made against it by someone disguised as a cow.

The initials of its name suggest that it has some association with V.F.D., and some evidence, such as the letters Snicket sends there, points to them as, at the least, unwitting allies.

It is suggested in "" that one of Count Olaf's associates was hiding here disguised as a cow for a period of time while trying to figure out what happened to Dr. Montgomery's reptile collection.

This building was supposedly burnt down, according to a letter from Brett Helquist to Lemony Snicket, in which he enclosed a picture suspiciously similar to that of the Baudelaire home in "The Bad Beginning".

Vineyard of Fragrant Grapes

ASUE place
name = Vineyard of Fragrant Grapes


bgcolor = magenta
first = ""
later =
location =
size =
possession =
type = VineyardThe Vineyard of Fragrant Grapes (whose name is often intentionally misspelled Vineyard of Fragrant Drapes) is a vineyard mentioned in Lemony Snicket's . It is where Snicket and Beatrice were to be married. It is also where Jerome Squalor and Esmé were married.

Snicket's autobiography includes two letters, addressed to Snicket and Squalor, informing both of their wedding arrangements. While the structure of both letters are similar, Snicket's letter contains a message written in the Sebald Code, warning him to avoid the vineyard under the pretense of an anticipated arson attack.

The vineyard was also briefly mentioned in "The Carnivorous Carnival" as a weekend vacation location for the Baudelaire family prior to Sunny's birth.