Rock-a-Hula Ted

Infobox Television episode
Title = Rock-a-Hula Ted
Series = Father Ted


Caption = The "Lovely Girls" competition
Season = 2
Episode = 7
Airdate = 19 April 1996
Production =
Writer = Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews
Director = Declan Lowney
Guests = Clare Grogan (Niamh Connolly), Dermot Crowley (Fr. Liam Deliverance), Dawn Bradfield (Imelda), Eddie Bannon, Joe Gallagher.
Episode list = List of Father Ted episodes
Season list = Father Ted Series 2
Prev = The Plague.
Next = Cigarettes and Alcohol and Rollerblading

"Rock-a-Hula Ted", a.k.a. "Lovely Girls", is the 7th episode of the second series of Channel 4 sitcom Father Ted, and the 13th episode overall.

ynopsis

Ted and Dougal see feminist musician Niamh Connolly on the television, accusing the church of multiple atrocious but highly improbable acts during the Irish potato famine, before she sings a strongly feminist song with the lyrics signed for TV viewers. Ted and Dougal dismiss all of this, and Mrs Doyle agrees that the Church has always been good to her, ironically as she is preoccupied with various heavy labor tasks around the Parochial House (along with being made to do other housework).

Ted is asked to be a judge in the "Lovely Girls" competition, and brings Jack along for the day. Due to Jack's uncharacteristicly long hair, he resembles Bob Geldof and proceeds to imitate him to begin a collection for Live Aid- any proceeds going directly to Jack himself. Ted finds out, tells off Jack and asks him "What would Queen and Peter Gabriel and all those acts who were on earlier in the day think? And what about Phil Collins flying to Boston?", prompting a vicious punch in the stomach by Jack. The contest revolves around various self-parodying imitations of typical events (ex. sandwich construction, walking, laughing) with Imelda ultimately deemed the winner by Ted. She is given the prize of a meal with Ted in Craggy Island's Thai restaurant, which she must pay for.

While Ted is out, Niamh Connolly comes to visit. Dougal invites her in and (technically following some advice Ted gave him) asks her if she would like to remove her bra. He then proceeds to make a cup of tea for her but concedes defeat with Mrs Doyle busy elsewhere.

When Ted returns he is dismayed to discover that Dougal has managed to sell Niamh the parochial house behind his back. Ted and Dougal are asked to leave, with Niamh's two bodyguards meaning they have no choice. They spend the night in a tent outside the house where Ted asks Dougal how he managed to let this happen. Dougal says that he was just doing as Ted had instructed him to do when dealing with women: He had tried to talk about clothes, and make her comfortable (by asking her to remove her bra) and he had given her what she had wanted (the house). Ted leaves a pen and notebook outside the tent, in the hope that God will write the answer to their problem overnight.

As expected this does not come to pass, leading Ted to re-enter the house in the morning to once again persuade Niamh to return their home. Just as he is telling her about the "good work" that goes on in the parish, another priest comes in, asking Ted which dress would be best (for Imelda) out of two he has in his arms. Ted says they are both equally good, and then tells Niamh that Craggy Island is a place where priests who lead all sorts of lifestyles can live in peace and harmony.

A noise is heard upstairs and Jack comes barging into the room. He sees Niamh and yells "Woman!" before Ted pushes him out of the room and hastily attempts to disguise this sudden intrusion as "Father Billy" expressing his views on women priests. Jack is seen at the window behind Niamh leering lustily at her. Ted makes the mistake of saying he has all Niamh's records; she agrees that he should be able to have the house back, as soon as she has signed the records.

Ted rushes off to John and Mary's shop where he luckily finds most of her discography. Whilst Niamh is signing them, an exhausted Mrs Doyle appears saying that she has finished with the pipes and she will get on with the rest of her chores, even though she is visibly worn out. Ted interrupts in an attempt to save the day but is hit across the chest by the pile of records thrown by Niamh.

The next scene shows Imelda, Niamh and Mrs Doyle sitting around a table in the Thai restaurant. Mrs Doyle seems to be agitated that the priests have been left home alone but Niamh tells her it is their night and she can do what she want. She reveals she has returned the house to Ted and Dougal, in return for Mrs Doyle having one night off every week. As Mrs Doyle nervously picks up some food from her plate with chopsticks, Niamh Connolly screams "Is that meat??"

The credits roll and Ted and Dougal are shown in the kitchen struggling to put out a fire which has broken out. Ted screams, "I only wanted a cup of tea!"

Trivia

*The Lovely Girls competition is a parody of The Rose of Tralee competition, which takes place every August in Tralee, County Kerry.
*Niamh Connelly is obviously based on Sinéad O'Connor, who famously criticised the Catholic Church.

External links

* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0578516/ "Rock-a-Hula Ted" at the IMDB]