Shiva (Judaism)

In Judaism, shiv'ah or shiva (), is supplied by neighbors and friends. [Kitsur SA 205:7. If a Jewish festival occurs after the first day, it brings the "shiva" to a premature end. If the funeral occurs during a festival, however, the start of "shiva" is postponed until the end of the festival. In communities where the last day of the festival is an additional (rabbinically-ordained) holy day, this extra day is counted as the first day of "shiva" even though public mourning does not commence until after the holiday.] The mourners do not bathe or shower for pleasure, [Lamm, M. (2000). The Jewish Way in Death and Mourning. Middle Village, New York: Jonathan David Publishers, Inc.. ISBN 0-8246-0422-9, p. 121] do not wear leather shoes and/or jewelry, men do not shave, and in many communities mourners keep any household mirrors covered. The prohibition of bathing includes bathing or showering the whole body, or utilizing hot water. [Lamm, p. 121] It is permitted to wash separately various parts of the body in cool water. [Lamm, p. 121] Marital relations [Lamm, p. 129] and Torah study [Lamm, p. 130] are not permitted. (It is permitted to study the laws of mourning, as well as that material which may be studied on Tisha B'Av, including Job, Lamentations, portions of Jeremiah and the third chapter of Talmud tractate Moed Katan. [Lamm, p. 130; Drucker, R. (1996). The Mourner's Companion. Highland Park, New Jersey: Ramat Gan Publications, p. 63] ) No public [Lamm, p. 89] mourning may occur on Shabbat (the Jewish Sabbath), nor may the burial take place on Shabbat, but the day of Shabbat does count toward the seven-day period. However, "private" mourning restrictions continue during the Sabbath. For example, a mourner may not take a haircut [Lamm, p. 124] or bathe for pleasure prior to Shabbat, or have marital relations or study Torah (except for reviewing the weekly Torah portion) on Shabbat. [Drucker, pp. 70,72] It is customary for the mourners to sit on low stools, or even the floor, symbolic of the emotional reality of being "brought low" by the grief. Typically, mourners do not return to work until the end of the week of mourning.

Many communities have an arrangement where members of the "chevra kadisha" (local Jewish burial society) organise the meals for the mourners, and serve refreshments for visitors. If prayer services are organized in the house of mourning, it is customary for an adult mourner to lead the prayers when capable (in Orthodox communities, this obligation and honor is extended only to adult men).

After completion

After the completion of the "shiv'ah", activity gradually returns to normal, although the mourners continue to recite the mourner's "kaddish" as part of synagogue services for a month (11 months for a parent), and there are restrictions on attending weddings and other festive gatherings, especially where live music is played. In most Orthodox communities, only men recite the mourner's kaddish; and if there are no male relatives an unrelated male will often be contracted to say the Kaddish on behalf of the women. This practice is discouraged in almost all non-Orthodox communities and a growing number of Orthodox communities as well.

For exo-marriages

Some Orthodox Jews (particularly the Haredi Jews, the most theologically conservative and traditional of Orthodox Jews) "sit shiva" when a relative marries outside of the tightly-knit ethnoreligious Jewish community or if the relative decides to stop practicing Judaism. This means that they 'mourn' the person's death, even though the individual hasn't died, but rather has "married out" or left the Jewish community. It is likely that this practice has its source in an erroneous reading of an ambiguous statement regarding the behavior of Rabbenu Gershom toward his son who converted to Christianity. [ [http://www.ottmall.com/mj_ht_arch/v35/mj_v35i75.html#CZZ Mail-Jewish Volume 35 Number 75 ] ]

This practice was more widespread in the past when nearly all Jews were strictly Orthodox, but has since decreased with the rise of Reform Judaism and as Jews have become more assimilated with the general populace in the modern era.

ee also

*Bereavement in Judaism
*Chevra kadisha

References

External links

* [http://www.interfaithfamily.com/deathandmourning Death and Mourning in Interfaith Families]
* [http://www.judaica-guide.com/sitting_shivah/ Sitting Shiv'ah in the Judaica Guide]
* [http://www.aish.com/literacy/lifecycle/May_-The_Place-_Comfort_You.asp Traditional Words of Consolation]