Cruise Confidential

Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline

Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline is a 2008 travelogue by author Brian David Bruns that won two national awards at the 2009 Book Expo America in New York City; Gold Medal Humor Book of the Year from ForeWord Magazine and the Benjamin Franklin Awards Humor Book of the Year.

Cruise Confidential describes the contract Bruns worked with Carnival Cruise Lines in their restaurants. He was the first American waiter in 30 years to complete a full contract without quitting. In the book Bruns describes the harsh working conditions for crew on various cruise ships, including the world’s largest (at the time) Carnival Conquest. Despite the hardships of racism, managerial abuses of power, and the unrealistic expectations of the industry, he meets a host of bizarre characters and manages to achieve his goals.

In his thirteen months at sea, he shares cabins with a Thai waiter, an insomniac Indian Reborn Christian, as well as a host of sex-craved men from all over the earth; he discovers waiters are required to steal supplies and even food to serve their guests, and endures belligerent kitchen antics he refers to as “pancake Darwinism” – “survival of the fittest.” He witnessed emotional breakdowns by crew members denied adequate medical care, as well as promotions courtesy of sexual favors. Eventually Bruns worked an average of one hundred hours a week for less than minimum wage on Carnival Legend.

Ultimately Bruns realized he was singled out because of his nationality, discovering that America’s role in the world is largely misunderstood in the United States. Bruns challenges American complacency toward its role in the world through having to endure numerous forms of retaliation from the international community that makes the cruise industry stay afloat.

Critical acclaim is included from J. Maarten Troost The Sex Lives of Cannibals, Doug Lansky (Discovery and Travel Channel host), Jennifer Leo, and Peter Mandel.

Cruise Confidential is being developed into a feature length film (as of January 2010), to be written by Emmy-winning satirist Chuck Martin (Arrested Development) and brought to market by Hollywood veteran Dan Halsted.

Ship For Brains: Cruise Confidential Book 2

The sequel to Cruise Confidential is called Ship For Brains (World Waters, 2011) and narrates the author's experiences as an art auctioneer working on cruise ships. While also a mild expose of the business of the cruise vacation, Ship For Brains primarily focuses on the unique characters who are attracted to the business of art auctioneering at sea. The burn-out rate of this unusual vocation is very high, and made all the more difficult by the tensions between ship's civilian and military hierarchies and a largely skeptical public.

Sources

Brian David Bruns, Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline, Traveler’s Tales, 2008 (ISBN 978-1932361605).

References

USA Today Travel Writer Gene Sloan [1] The Plain Dealer ([2]

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