Star Warp'd

Infobox Film
name =Star Warp'd

|100px director =Pete Schuermann
writer =John Schuermann
Milko Davis
producer =John Schuermann
Milko Davis
starring =Jeff Walters
David Carty
distributor =Synapse Films
released =2001
runtime =32 min
language =English
budget =Unknown
preceded_by =Nothing
awards =None
imdb_id =0384560

Star Warp'd is a 2002 claymation parody film, directed by Pete Schuermann. The film's plot is a combination of famous science fiction movies, done in a parodic manner. The film was released direct to video by Synapse Films. An extra on the DVD claims that a sequel is on the way, but as of January, 2007, it has yet to be released.

Plot Summary

The film begins off with a title crawl similar to that of the Star Wars series. After the credits, the film cuts to the USS Consolationprize (EEK-U812) being attacked by a spacecraft resembling a Star Destroyer. We are then introduced to the ship's crew, Captain Kwirk and Mr. Spuck. A menacing figure named Dark Vapor then appears on their screen, and tells them that they are going to be captured, because they are a part of the Rebellious Alliance. Upon realizing that the rest of the crew won't appear due to budget cuts, they escape the ship in an shuttlecraft, and land on planet Earth, circa the year 2001. They climb over a ridge to find a monolith, which belongs to the vulgar, cigar-smoking . He informs the two that his monolith is broken, the universe is falling apart because of it, and that it's up to Kwirk and Spuck to repair it. They are also told that the dark smell of the force want to steal the monolith for its power. But both sides can summon any warrior from any universe (with Mr. Spuck's "tape recorder") to help their side of the fight.

Later that night, the two arrive in Plastic City, and meet their first opponent, the Schwartzenator. In response, they summon RoboFuzz to combat him. Neither side is victorious. After that, Dark Vapor summons The Carnivore. Spuck responds by summoning N.T. the Non-Terrestrial. N.T. is the victor. Dark Vapor then summons Uglien, although he is easily distracted by an ice cream cone, which Spuck seeming pulls out of his hind end. Right as Spuck and Kwirk believe that they are victorious, the monolith is stolen by Darth Vapor's henchman, Mini-Maul (A play on Darth Maul, Mini-me and the term "mini-mall"), flying his Bow-Tie Fighter. Kwirk and Spuck follow him onto Dark Vapor's starship in secret, where a fight ensues very similar to the climax of Star Wars Episode I. During this time, Kwirk's mechanic, Mr. Squatty realizes that the monolith just needed a jump start because the battery had died. The monolith is then repaired, and Captain Kwirk dispatches Mini-Maul by knocking him down into a pit of what appears to be liquid feces. Meanwhile, Mr. Spuck dispatches the rest of Vapor's henchmen in an asteroid field with a 12-gauge shotgun. Kwirk is reunited on the Consolationprize with Spuck, and he makes the discovery that the enemies' designation is pure gas. They dispatch of Dark Vapor by launching a missile into his ship, and sending him riding it down to Earth, similar to T. J. "King" Kong. With evil now vanquished, Captain Kwirk wonders why RoboFuzz and N.T. have not been returned to their respective universes. The Star Child then appears on their screen, and informs them that they have yet to battle the true evil, and to defeat it they must unite with their enemies. Kwirk, Spuck, Vapor, and Mini-Maul are then transported to a desert wasteland, where they meet Jar Jar Sucks. For a reason they can't explain, they all suddenly feel pure hatred toward him, and gang up on him. They tie him up with his own tongue, and throw him over a cliff. The Star Child then informs them that their duties are done, and they are sent back to their respective universes, "until the sequel".

Spoofs

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* The X-Files
* The Terminator
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* Robocop
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* Predator
* Alien
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* T.J. Hooker
* 1991 Rodney King Police Incident
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* Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner

Cast

* Jeff Walters as Captain Kwirk
* David Carty as Mr. Spuck, Mr. Squat
* Michael Fleming as Dark Vapor, Schwartzenator, N.T. the Non-Terrestrial, Jar Jar Blows
* John Schuermann as Stormsnoopers, Uglien, Varmin the Venusian
* Pete Schuermann as , RoboFuzz, Mini-Maul
* Douglas Yoder as Darth Brooks, Agent Moldy
* Stacy Storer as Agent Scummy
* Milko Davis as Carnivore

Sequel?

An extra on the Star Warp'd DVD claims that a sequel to Star Warp'd was being made, and includes the first few minutes of the film.

Endorphin, the home planet to the Ewoquis is under attack. Just as the crew of the Consolationprize (who are now back, presumably due to a higher budget), arrive, the planet is destroyed by a giant celestial body that resembles a hybrid of the Death Star, and a human anus. Captain Kwirk is then shocked when Dark Vapor appears on screen, telling them that he is headed for planet Earth. The celestial body then speeds away. Just as Captain Kwirk sits down, he receives an E-Mail that reads, "I Love You". Despite Mr. Spuck's warnings, Kwirk opens it, and is sent flying through hyperspace, and ends up in a white room very similar to The Matrix. He then meets Morpheus (whom he cannot understand without his rap to English translating device), who presents him with two pills. The red pill will keep the story going, while the blue pill will end the story, and shelf the sequel. The preview then ends with Kwirk looking at the audience and asking "What the fu..."

As of 2007, the sequel has not been released, and it can be assumed that it has been cancelled.

External links

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* [http://www.dvdmaniacs.net/Reviews/Q-T/starwarpd.html Star Warp'd] DVD review