Covert incest

The term covert incest (also known as emotional incest or psychic incest) is used by some mental health professionals to describe a relationship between parents and children that is sexualized and expects a child to fulfill adult emotional roles, though without actual incest. Proponents of the concept describe the relationships as harmful and one-sided, and similar to a relationship between adult sexual partners, but without the type of physical contact that would be considered child sexual abuse. Its effects are described as similar to, though less severe than, that of actual incest. The concept has been criticized as an overly broad set of criteria that excessively expands the definition of child sexual abuse.

Description

Covert incest refers to a form of emotional abuse in which the relationship between a parent and a child is inappropriately sexualized without actual sexual contact.^[1][2] Substance abuse is thought to be associated with covert incest.^[3] The effects of covert incest are thought to mimic actual incest though to a lesser degree,^[4] and Kenneth Adams, who originated the concept, describes the victims having anger or guilt towards parents and issues with self-esteem, addiction and sexual and emotional intimacy.^[2]

Covert incest was defined in the 1980s^[1] as an emotionally abusive^[5] relationship between a parent (or stepparent) and child that does not involve incest or sexual intercourse, though it involves similar interpersonal dynamics as a relationship between sexual partners;^[1][6][7] it has also been described as a parent responding to a child's love with adult sexuality.^[8] Problems between parents often facilitate covert incest; as the parents distance themselves from each other both physically and emotionally, one parent may begin focusing on his/her child. The child becomes the surrogate partner and source of emotional support for the parent.^[9] The abusing parent may also be afraid or unable to meet their needs through a relationship with another adult.^[5] Alcoholism and other substance addictions are also associated with the occurrence of covert incest.^[3][10]

Covert incest occurs when a parent is unable or unwilling to maintain a relationship with another adult and forces the emotional role of a spouse onto their child instead.^[5] The child's needs are ignored and instead the relationship exists solely to meet the needs of the parent^[11] and the adult may not be aware of the issues created by their actions.^[12]

Jungian analyst and author Marion Woodman describes psychic incest as "unboundaried bonding" in which the parent or parents use the child as a mirror to support their needs, rather than mirroring the child in support of the child's emotional development.^[13] Woodman considers psychic incest to damage the internal experience of the "parental complexes," described in Jungian analysis as a combination of actual interaction with the parents and the innate mother and father archetypes; according to Woodman, when these are damaged due to covert incest, an affected individual can experience distress in their personal relationships and sexual relationships in particular.^[14]

Criticisms

Critics of covert incest have claimed that the concept dramatically loosens the definition of incest, making child abuse seem more prevalent than it actually is.^[11][15][16]

See also

• Incest
• Narcissistic abuse
• Parentification

References

1. ^ ^{a b c} Jacobson M (2001). "Child sexual abuse and the multidisciplinary team approach: contradictions in practice". Childhood 8 (2): 231. doi:10.1177/0907568201008002006. 
2. ^ ^{a b} Adams K (1991). Silently Seduced : When Parents Make their Children Partners - Understanding Covert Incest. HCI. ISBN 1558741313. http://books.google.com/?id=ntvDUz8U3EYC&printsec=frontcover. Retrieved 2008-04-14. 
3. ^ ^{a b} Potter-Efron, RT; Potter-Efron PS (1990). Aggression, Family Violence, and Chemical Dependency. Haworth Press. pp. 133–135. ISBN 0866569642. http://books.google.com/?id=Dfndy3FRligC&pg=PA133. 
4. ^ Herman, JL; Hirschman L (2000). Father-daughter incest. Harvard University Press. p. 125. ISBN 0674002709. 
5. ^ ^{a b c} Friel DL & Friel JC (1988). Adult children: the secrets of dysfunctional families. Deerfield Beach, Fla: Health Communications. ISBN 0932194532. 
6. ^ Love PG (1991). The Emotional Incest Syndrome : What to do When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life. London: Bantam. ISBN 055335275X. 
7. ^ Woititz, JG (1993). The Intimacy Struggle. HCI. pp. 61. ISBN 1558742778. 
8. ^ Helfaer PM (1998). Sex and self-respect: the quest for personal fulfillment. New York: Praeger. ISBN 0-275-96185-0. 
9. ^ Morgan A & Adams K (2007). When He's Married to Mom: How to Help Mother-Enmeshed Men Open Their Hearts to True Love and Commitment. New York: Fireside. ISBN 0-7432-9138-7. 
10. ^ Barnard, CP (1990). Families With an Alcoholic Member: The Invisible Patient. Human Sciences Press. pp. 139. ISBN 0898854792. 
11. ^ ^{a b} Pendergrast, Mark (1996). Victims of memory: sex abuse accusations and shattered lives. Hinesburg, Vt: Upper Access. ISBN 0-942679-18-0. http://books.google.com/?id=zZgSSh6L4HIC&pg=PA11&dq=+%22covert+incest%22. Retrieved 2008-04-17. 
12. ^ Gartner RB (1999). Betrayed as boys: psychodynamic treatment of sexually abused men. New York: Guilford Press. ISBN 1-57230-644-0. http://books.google.com/?id=qzGfz6fyOAAC&pg=PA26. Retrieved 2008-04-17. 
13. ^ Woodman, Marion (1993). Conscious Femininity: Interviews with Marion Woodman. Inner City Books. p. 139. ISBN 0919123597. 
14. ^ Woodman, Marion (1992). Leaving My Father's House: A Journey to Conscious Femininity. Shambhala,. p. 207. ISBN 0877735786. 
15. ^ Bjorklund, David F. (2000). False-memory creation in children and adults: theory, research, and implications. Hillsdale, N.J: L. Erlbaum. ISBN 0-8058-3169-X. 
16. ^ Kaminer, Wendy (1993). I'm dysfunctional, you're dysfunctional: the recovery movement and other self-help fashions. New York: Vintage Books. p. 27. ISBN 0-679-74585-8.