William McGonagall

William Topaz McGonagall (1825 – 29 September, 1902) was a Scottish weaver, actor and poet. He is comically renowned as one of the worst poets in the English language.

Life and poetry

Born in Edinburgh, of Irish parentage, McGonagall was working as a handloom weaver in Dundee, Scotland when an event occurred that was to change his life. As he was later to write:

:" The most startling incident in my life was the time I discovered myself to be a poet, which was in the year 1877."

It was with this that he wrote his first poem "An Address to the Rev. George Gilfillan", which showed all the hallmarks that would characterise his later work. Gilfillan commented "Shakespeare never wrote anything like this."

McGonagall has been widely acclaimed as the worst poet in British history.cite|author=William McGonagall
title=World's Worst Poet: Selections from "Poetic Gems"
publisher=Templegate Publishers
date=1992] The chief criticisms of his poetry are that he is deaf to poetic metaphor and unable to scan correctly. In the hands of lesser artists, this might simply generate dull, uninspiring verse. However, McGonagall's fame stems from the humorous effects these shortcomings generate. The inappropriate rhythms, weak vocabulary, and ill-advised imagery combine to make his work amongst the most spontaneously amusing comic poetry in the English language.

Of the 200 or so poems that he wrote, the most famous is probably "The Tay Bridge Disaster", which recounts the events of the evening of 28 December, 1879, when, during a severe gale, the Tay Rail Bridge near Dundee collapsed as a train was passing over it.

:" Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silv'ry Tay!":" Alas! I am very sorry to say":" That ninety lives have been taken away":" On the last Sabbath day of 1879,":" Which will be remember'd for a very long time."

(Modern sources give the death toll as 75.) One commentator Fact|date=June 2008 remarked that "a lesser poet (one should note that the German poet Theodor Fontane did write a poem about this event as well) would have thought it was a good idea to write a poem about the Tay Bridge disaster. A lesser poet would have thought of conveying the shock of the people of Dundee. But only the true master could come up with a couplet like:

:" And the cry rang out all round the town,":" Good heavens! The Tay Bridge has blown down."

McGonagall had previously written a poem in praise of the Tay Bridge: "The Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay" "With your numerous arches and pillars in so grand array". Once the new replacement bridge had been built, without the least feeling of irony, he proceeded to compose an ode to the new construction: "An Address to the New Tay Bridge" “Strong enough all windy storms to defy”.

He also campaigned vigorously against excessive drinking, appearing in pubs and bars to give edifying poems and speeches. These were very popular, the people of Dundee possibly recognising that McGonagall was "so giftedly bad he backed unwittingly into genius". [Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"]

"Poet-baiting" became a popular pastime in Dundee, but McGonagall seemed oblivious to the general opinion of his poems, even when his audience were pelting him with eggs and vegetables. It is possible, however, that he was shrewder than he is given credit for, and was playing along to his audience's perception of him, in effect making his recitals an early form of performance art. [http://www.geocities.com/williamtopazmcgonagall The Real McGonagall, by Gord Bambrick ] ]

McGonagall also considered himself an actor, although the theatre where he performed, Mr Giles' Theatre, would only let him perform the title role in "Macbeth" if he paid for the privilege in advance. Their caution proved ill-founded however, as the theatre was filled with friends and fellow workers, anxious to see what they correctly predicted to be an amusing disaster. Although the play should have ended with Macbeth's death at the hands of Macduff, McGonagall believed that the actor playing Macduff was trying to upstage him, and so refused to die. [ [http://www.scotlandmag.com/magazine/issue5/12006249.html White Elephant : Scotland Magazine Issue 5 ] ] [ [http://www.mcgonagall-online.org.uk/articles/failures.htm McGonagall Online: McGonagall the Heroic Failure ] ]

In 1892, following the death of Alfred, Lord Tennyson, he walked from Dundee to Balmoral, a distance of about 60 miles over mountainous terrain and through a violent thunderstorm, "wet to the skin", to ask Queen Victoria if he might be considered for the post of Poet Laureate. [McGonagall, Wm "More Poetic Gems" Dundee 1962] Unfortunately, he was informed the Queen was not in residence, and returned home. In 1894, representatives of King Thibaw Min of Burma knighted him as Sir Topaz, Knight of the White Elephant of Burmah, a title he used in his advertising.

He died penniless in 1902 and was buried in an unmarked grave in Greyfriars Kirkyard in Edinburgh. A grave-slab installed to his memory in 1999 is inscribed:

:"William McGonagall":"'Poet and Tragedian"

:"I am your gracious Majesty:"ever faithful to Thee,:"William McGonagall, the Poor Poet,:"That lives in Dundee."

McGonagall in popular culture

* The memory of McGonagall was resurrected by comedian Spike Milligan. A character called McGoonagall frequently appears in "The Goon Show", alternately played by Milligan and Peter Sellers. Milligan also occasionally gave readings of McGonagall's verse.
* McGonagall's poem "The Famous Tay Whale" [cite web |url=http://www.mcgonagall-online.org.uk/poems/pgwhale.htm |title=McGonagall Online: The Famous Tay Whale |format= |work= |accessdate=2008-06-19] was set to music by Matyas Seiber for the second Hoffnung Music Festival in 1958. The arrangement calls for a narrator (at the premiere the narrator was Edith Evans), full orchestra, a fog horn, and an espresso machine.
* A 1974 movie called " [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071579/ The Great McGonagall] " starred Milligan as a fictionalized William McGonagall. Sellers played Queen Victoria. Milligan further recounted McGonagall's life story in the pastiche novel "William McGonagall - the Truth at Last", co-written with Jack Hobbs.
* A Muppet character named "Angus McGonagle, the Argyle Gargoyle" appeared on one episode of "The Muppet Show". As his stage act he "gargled Gershwin".
* In "The Wee Free Men" by Terry Pratchett, the Nac Mac Feegle have a battle poet, or "Gonnagle", who repels the enemy through the awfulness of his poetry.
* An episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus featured a McGonagall-esque poet called Ewan McTeagle, [ [http://orangecow.org/pythonet/sketches/mcteagle.htm The Poet McTeagle ] ] whose poems were actually prose requests for money.
* In the Harry Potter books, author J.K. Rowling chose the surname of the Professor of Transfiguration, Minerva McGonagall, because she had heard of McGonagall and loved the surname. [ [http://www.quick-quote-quill.org/articles/1999/1099-connectiontransc.html 1999: Accio Quote!, the largest archive of J.K. Rowling interviews on the web ] ]
* The January 9, 2007 episode of the show with zefrank claimed to have been hosted from the home of McGonagall.
* Billy Connolly visited Dundee and the Tay Bridge during his 1994 "World Tour of Scotland", where he talked about McGonagall and recited a passage from his book "Scottish Gems": "I don't like publicans. The first man to throw a plate of peas at me was a publican," speculating on how popular throwing plates of peas at him must have become after this. Connolly also read "The Tay Bridge Disaster" in the middle of a blizzard.
* In May 2007, satirical magazine Private Eye printed a parody of McGonagall's work focusing on the recent success of the Scottish National Party and its success in the Scottish Parliament Election, 2007.
* McGonagall was the subject of the newspaper column Ripley's Believe It or Not! on October 11, 2007, saying he "was often considered the world's worst poet, even by his own publisher, yet his writings are still in print a century after his death!"
* A collection of 35 broadsheet poems of McGonagall, the majority signed by him, was bought for £6,600 (including commission) from Lyon & Turnbull, Edinburgh auctionneers, on 16 May 2008. [ [http://www.lyonandturnbull.com/asp/fullCatalogue.asp?salelot=208++++++298+&refno=+++97324 BOOKS, MAPS & MANUSCRIPTS - SALE 208 - LOT 298 - LYON & TURNBULL ] at www.lyonandturnbull.com] [cite news
author=
title='Worst poet' outsells boy wizard
date=2008-05-16
work=BBC News
url=http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/tayside_and_central/7402920.stm
accessdate=2008-08-06]

Honours and memorials

McGonagall's home city of Dundee maintains several reminders of his life:

* The William Topaz McGonagall Appreciation Society held a McGonagall Supper on board the frigate "Unicorn" on 12 June, 1997, during which the courses were allegedly served in reverse order, starting with the coffee and ending with the starters. A short play was performed by local actors. [ [http://www.taynet.co.uk/users/mcgon/bglink1.htm William Topaz McGonagall Supper - June 12, 1997 ] ]
* Beginning in 2004, the Dundee Science Centre Education Outreach has hosted an annual Charity McGonagall Gala Dinner, [http://www.dundeecity.gov.uk/events/evx060632.htm] in which guests eat their meal backwards from dessert to starter and hear the welcome address as they depart, "combining traditional and unconventional entertainment, with four-course dinner, complimentary wine and whisky".
* There is a McGonagall Square in the West End of Dundee. [ [http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=McGonagall+Square&sll=56.463818,-2.99381&sspn=0.0085,0.013454&layer=&ie=UTF8&z=18&ll=56.455489,-2.990878&spn=0.002125,0.005123&t=h&om=1 Google Maps] ]
* A number of inscriptions of his poetry have been made, most notably along the side of the River Tay on the pavement of Riverside Drive in Dundee. This monument contains a deliberate spelling mistake. [ [http://www.rampantscotland.com/let030405.htm Rampant Scotland Newsletter - 5 April 2003 ] ]
* Dundee Central Library maintains a William McGonagall Collection of his works. [ [http://www.dundeecity.gov.uk/centlib/mcgon.htm Dundee City Council, Scotland - Central Library, Local History Centre, William McGonagall, Poet and Tragedian ] ]

References

See also

* Scottish literature
* The Cherry Sisters
* Robert Coates
* Florence Foster Jenkins
* Mrs. Miller
* Margarita Pracatan
* Jared Smith
* James McIntyre
* Julia A. Moore
* William Hung
* Wesley Willis
* Ed Wood
* Paul Neil Milne Johnstone
* Amanda McKittrick Ros
* Theo Marzials
* English as she is spoke
* Vogon poetry
* Battle of Abu Klea

External links

* [http://www.mcgonagall-online.org.uk McGonagall Online]
* [http://www.geocities.com/williamtopazmcgonagall The Real McGonagall] gives a different interpretation of McGonagall's work, suggesting he was a deliberate satirist.
* [http://books.guardian.co.uk/departments/classics/story/0,,1691120,00.html Bard of the Silv'ry Tay] A profile by James Campbell
* [http://www.writerstoyou.com/books/readonline.asp?bookid=8863&locid=8495&user=1342&title=Tomas+O+Carthaigh+%2D+%22The+Great+Mc+Gonagle%21%22 "The Great Mc Gonagall"] A Skitful verse on his life written in his style
* [http://www.wardsbookofdays.com/2september.htm The Life and Death of William McGonagall @ "Ward's Book of Days"]
* Alistair MacDonald, I Think That I Shall Never See A Poet Bad as ... The Bard of Dundee; But Mr. McGonagall Has a Secret Admirer,The Wall Street Journal, May 17, 2008; Page A1 [http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121098047893700117.html?mod=hps_us_pageone] .

Persondata
NAME= McGonagall, William
ALTERNATIVE NAMES=McGonagall, William Topaz
SHORT DESCRIPTION=weaver, actor, poet
DATE OF BIRTH=1825
PLACE OF BIRTH=Edinburgh
DATE OF DEATH=1902-09-29
PLACE OF DEATH=Edinburgh?