Toilet Paper (South Park episode)

Infobox Television episode
Title = Toilet Paper
Series = South Park


Caption = Stan staring evilly at the Art Teacher.
Season = 7
Episode = 99
Airdate = April 2, 2003
Production = 703
Writer = Matt Stone
Director = Trey Parker
Guests =
Episode list = List of "South Park" episodes
Season list = Infobox South Park season 7 episode list
Prev =
Next =

"Toilet Paper" is the 99th episode of the Comedy Central series "South Park." It originally aired on April 2, 2003.

Plot

The boys are forced to stay after school as punishment for making an erect penis out of clay in art class. Annoyed, they take revenge by toilet papering the art teacher Mrs Dreibel's house during the night. Kyle is horrified to discover that she has kids — "You didn't say nothin' about no kids, man," he says — and soon regrets the deed, having nightmares about it and the Dreibel family's suffering.

The next day, the boys are called to the counsellor's office, and Cartman comes up with a bogus alibi: "Last night, all four of us were at the bowling alley until about 7:30, at which time we noticed Ally Sheedy, the Goth chick from "The Breakfast Club", was bowling in the lane next to us, and we asked her for her autograph, but she didn't have a pen, so we followed her out to her car, but on the way we were accosted by five scientologists who wanted to give us all personality tests, which were administered at the Scientology Center in Denver until 10:45, at which time we accidentally boarded the wrong bus home and ended up in Rancho de Fritos Rojos, south of Castle Rock, and finally got a ride home with a man who was missing his left index finger, named Gary Bushwell, arriving home at 11:46." With Kyle struggling to apprehend the details of this convoluted story, Cartman grows concerned that he may confess.

Officer Barbrady, having nothing better to do with his time, starts to investigate the crime but is unable to come up with any solid leads. He seeks help from Josh, a convicted toilet-paperer, who is serving a three-week sentence in Park County Juvenile Hall for toilet papering over 600 houses in less than a year. After several interviews, during which Josh applies psychological pressure on Barbrady, he comes a little closer to solving the case.

Cartman decides to eliminate the risk of Kyle confessing by taking matters into his own hands. He takes Kyle on a boatride on Stark's Pond and tries to kill him with a wifflebat. Cartman is unsuccessful, however, the bat being too weak to inflict any damage. Kyle, nevertheless, is so guilt-ridden that he accepts his would-be beating willingly: "You wanna kill me? Fine! I can't live like this anymore! Go ahead!"

Meanwhile, Barbrady forces a confession out of Butters after injecting him with sodium pentothal and interrogating him for over forty hours, but Butter's parents, furious, arrive to absolve him and ground him for confessing (yet again) to a crime that he did not commit. After seeing Butters get in trouble for their actions (in spite of the fact that Barbrady frees him after his parents' testimonials), Stan and Kenny are finally convinced that they ought to confess, not wanting to let Butters suffer for what they have done. Stan tells Cartman that, if he has a conscience, he will do the same. Cartman, however, is completely oblivious to the concept of "feel [ing] bad for other people" and is utterly bewildered at his friends' reasoning, stammering and holding his straining head in disbelief: "You guys," he splutters, "there's nothing to feel bad about! We're off scot-free!"

The next morning, Barbrady brings Josh along with him to Principal Victoria's office, but she announces before he can speak that the true toilet paperer has already confessed. Just then, Stan, Kyle and Kenny rush into the office, only to find out that it is Cartman, having obviously done it in a bid to secure a better deal for himself: each of the boys ends up with two weeks' detention, except for Cartman, who gets only one for "being brave". Josh manages to trick the police and flee. At the conclusion of the episode, he calls Officer Barbrady, thanking him and declaring that he has something he must do. Despite Barbrady's pleas — "Josh, you have to go back to Juvenile Hall: you only have a three-week sentence" —, he puts down the phone and, armed with bags of toilet paper, slowly approaches the White House as sinister music plays in the background.

External links

* [http://www.southparkstudios.com/episodes/103911/ Watch this episode]