Dale to the Chief

"Dale to the Chief"
King of the Hill episode
Episode no.	Season 9 Episode 5
Production code	9ABE02
Original air date	January 30, 2005
Episode chronology
← Previous "Yard, She Blows!" Next → "The Petriot Act"
List of King of the Hill episodes

"Dale to the Chief" is the 176th episode in the Fox animated situation comedy series King of the Hill and was the 5th episode of the 9th season. The episode's title refers to the American presidential anthem "Hail to the Chief".

Plot

Hank dismisses another of Dale's rambling conspiracy theories while waiting on his renewed driver's license. When it arrives, he is angered to discover that they have mistakenly listed him as a female. Later that evening, Joseph has a bad dream, and Dale reads him a "bedtime story" - the Warren Commission report on John F. Kennedy's assassination. Joseph asks questions which prompt Dale to double-check some facts in the appendix, and his own miniature recreation leads him to the stunning conclusion that the government might have actually been telling the truth.

While Bill and Boomhauer tease Hank about his license, Dale begins having a breakdown over the threat to his conspiracy theories. Hank goes to the Department of Public Safety to get his license changed, but they give him the runaround, citing their complicated procedures and involvement with the Department of Homeland Security. Dale goes to Dealey Plaza in Dallas and is overwhelmed by the volume of crackpots espousing their own JFK theories, until a friendly policeman helps him out, and the officer's American flag pin renews Dale's faith in the government. Dale returns to the alley filled with fanatical patriotism, and defends the post office when Hank complains that they lost his application to fix his license.

Dale begins doing a number of patriotic activities, including filing a real tax return for the first time. Hank tries to get his license changed again, but they claim they need medical proof of his gender, and his doctor requires a battery of tests to verify his gender, furthering his wait. In the meantime, Dale paints a huge American flag on his roof, and Hank's angry venting about the government's screw-up prompts Dale to call Homeland Security and report Hank as a possible terrorist. Although the agent dismisses the idea, the call finally prompts Hank to break off his friendship with Dale.

Hank reaches his breaking point when the gender issue affects his mail from the Texas Propane Association, and vows to go down to the DPS and get the matter resolved by any means necessary. Dale gloats to Nancy about calling the police to catch Hank threatening a public official, but she reminds him of Hank's steadfast friendship over the years. At the DPS office, Hank prepares to threaten them to change his license, but Dale shows up at the last minute and uses his vast knowledge of government officials to intimidate them into fixing the mistake. Hank and Dale make up, and Dale must now reconcile his new beliefs with the fact that the government was in fact wrong.

Quotes

• Dale (as a DHS agent pulls up in a green Ford Taurus): Whoa! A black Suburban! The new models are much smaller and greener than last year's.

• Dale: Why should I do that? He's a threat to the government! The one that makes sure my air is clean and that my food has only an acceptable amount of rat feces in it.

• Dale: I'm your worst nightmare: I have a three-line phone and nothing at all to do with my time!