The Entity (South Park)

Infobox Television episode
Title = The Entity
Series = South Park


Caption = Kyle meets his cousin.
Season = 5
Episode = 76
Airdate = November 21, 2001
Production = 511
Writer = Trey Parker
Director = Trey Parker
Guests =
Episode list = List of "South Park" episodes
Season list = Infobox South Park season 5 episode list
Prev =
Next =

"The Entity" is episode 511 of the Comedy Central series "South Park". It originally aired on November 21, 2001. The episode is partially a parody of the hype and anticipation at the time surrounding the Segway, which was code-named "IT" before its official unveiling in December 2001.

Plot synopsis

In the episode, Kyle's cousin, Kyle Schwartz from Connecticut, comes to live in South Park due to his mother's ailing health back in Connecticut. While Kyle was initially excited about seeing his cousin for the first time, he is shocked to see that he is an overly-stereotyped version of a Jew (e.g., constantly complaining about everything, highly sensitive to the dryness of the air, allergic to most meats excluding fish, and penny-pinching in nature). To make matters worse for Kyle, he is nicknamed "Kyle 2" by his mother and his cousin is still called "Kyle." Kyle is told by his mother to take care of his cousin. He realizes that Cartman, his anti-Semitic friend would simply "rip [him] apart." He offers Cartman $40 to not make fun of him, which Cartman accepts (while struggling not to laugh or make an anti-Semitic remark). Unfortunately, when Kyle (Schwartz) is told by Ms. Choksondik to concentrate, Cartman exclaims "Maybe we should send him to a Concentration Camp!" (a double-entendre) and Kyle refuses to pay him. However, his cousin realises that he had been paying off his friends to not make fun of him and suggests that he should have tried to get away with $12.50 rather than $40. Angered by his ingratitude and personal quirks, the children all soon realize that Kyle's cousin is just too annoying to live in South Park with them. Much of this episode then goes on to have the boys constantly trying to get rid of Kyle Schwartz, by tying him to the back of a bus while he is on a sled, tricking him onto a plane to Antarctica, etc. However, Kyle Schwartz always finds a way to come back to South Park.

Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison, tired of the inefficient and frustrating airline check-ins, decides to invent his own vehicle. Inspired by watching singer Enrique Iglesias' sexualized singing on TV and by gyroscopes, he invents the gyroscope-powered monowheel "IT." Garrison's "IT" is a rip on the nickname of the famous Segway PT. Garrison's "IT" can go up to two hundred miles per hour, gets three hundred miles to the gallon, and is an all-around better mode of travel. The only problem is that it is controlled by an uncomfortable method; using four "flexi-grip handles" that somewhat resemble erect penises; two used by the hands, one in the mouth, and a fourth handle which is inserted into the anus. Despite this unorthodox control mechanism (which is uncomfortable to everyone except Mr. Garrison and elderly women), it is still considered better than the airlines and Mr. Garrison is a smashing success. Even aviation enthusiast John Travolta decides that "IT" "beats dealing with the airline companies." The airport is now fully deserted and yet the airline industry's inefficiency is, if anything, amplified by the lack of people in the airport.

However the government decides to bail out the airlines from going under because of "IT". To ensure the airlines dominance as a mode of transport, the government ends up outlawing "IT" and makes using it a criminal act (it also transpires that the vehicle can be operated with buttons too, making the phallus-like controls an unnecessary discomfort). As a result, Kyle's cousin, who had invested in "IT", gets a $5,000,000 bail-out payment and decides to return home to Connecticut to take care of his sick mother. Because of this new found wealth, the boys suddenly change their plan and try to get him to stay in South Park. To their surprise, Kyle's cousin says that he wants to leave because they are "douchebags" and calls them rednecks out of a "stereotype catalog". He ultimately leaves, dashing their chances to share in his new wealth. Cartman blames Kyle for his departure, saying "Good job, Jew!" just before the episode ends.