Last Will and Temperament

Last Will and Temperament (also known as "Boot to the Head" or "Mr. Muldoon's Will") is a comedy skit done by the Canadian comedy troupe The Frantics on their CBC radio series "Frantic Times" and is heard in their 1984 album of the same name. This introduced the phrase that became their trademark, which would be used in the sketch Ti Kwan Leep three years later in their catch phrase titled album.

Personnel

*Paul Chato - Lawyer
*Rick Green - Ralston
*Dan Redican - Hedge
*Peter Wildman - Hank
*Carolyn Scott (guest star) - Jenny, Ms. Mulroy

Premise of the Sketch

The premise is that there is a will reading of one Arthur Durham Muldoon to his overly emotional sister Jenny, her wimpy husband Hank, his drunken brother Hedge, know-it-all-nephew Ralston, and his caretaker Ms. Mulroy. All are present for this reading and everyone thinks they are getting a piece of his fortune. The executor of the estate gives Jenny, "who cried crocodile tears" after begging for money from him, and her husband boots to their heads. Then after learning that they admired his Rolls Royce, however, each are bequeathed another boot to their heads. Hedge then gets Mr. Muldoon's entire wine cellar and three cases of whiskey along with his boot, then another "for Jenny and the wimp." Ralston, knowing it was predicable, gets one, which is followed by another for Jenny and Hank. This is followed by Ms. Mulroy, who took care of him for so many years and gets her own boot to the head, along with another for his sister and her husband. The next party named is Arthur's pet cat Mittens, who receives his "entire, vast...boot to the head," and is heard yeowling. Finally, he leaves not a boot to the head to his lawyer, but a rabid Tasmanian Devil down his trousers, and in the midst of this, announces that Mr. Muldoon's entire $10 million fortune will be given to the city of Calgary, Alberta "to move to someplace decent." Finally, in bitter disgust, most of them ask if that was all, the executor says that it isn't all, but Mr. Muldoon is leaving them each a lifetime supply of ice cream, to which his Ms. Mulroy asks "What flavor is it?" "Boot to the head!" replies the lawyer, and they all get one final kick.

Sometimes, when this airs on Doctor Demento's radio program, it is followed by the theme song "Boot to the Head" from said 1987 album.

Television version

The television version, as seen in the CBC Television series "Four on the Floor" (known as "The Frantics" outside Canada) is one minute shorter than the radio and album version, and does not include the wine cellar for Hedge (just the three cases of whiskey) nor does it include the nephew Ralston, the Tasmanian Devil joke or the ice cream punchline. Additionally, Rick Green dresses in drag to play Ms. Mulroy.

External links

[http://www.thefrantics.com The Frantics web site] [http://youtube.com/watch?v=J5kGUW6M7W0 The "Four on the Floor" version of "Last Will and Temperament"] [http://dmdb.org/lyrics/last.will.html The Last Will and Temperament sketch as written] [http://www.cybermoonstudios.com/PhoenixBoot.html Last Will and Temperament animation as done by Phoenix Wright characters]