If You Could See Me Now (Peter Straub novel)

"If You Could See Me Now" is Peter Straub's third published novel and second work of gothic or horror fiction. The book was published by Jonathan Cape in June 1977 – the same London publisher who published "Julia" in 1976. Coward, McCann & Geoghegan published an American edition also in June 1977.

The novel tells the story of Miles Teagarden, a widowed English professor struggling to complete his dissertation in the summer of 1975. Twenty years earlier – on the night of June 21, 1955 – Miles made a vow with his beautiful cousin Alison Greening that they would meet again at the family farm in Arden, Wisconsin in twenty years. Shortly after swearing this vow, Alison drowned under mysterious circumstances while she and Miles were swimming in the quarry not far from the family farm.

The main action of the book follows Miles as he returns to Arden ostensibly in search of peace and quiet in which he can complete his dissertation. Very quickly the work on the dissertation falls away as Miles becomes obsessed with memories of his cousin and the circumstances of her death. Several young girls have been murdered in the area and the suspicions of the small town fall on Miles who is soon caught up in defending himself and attempting to untangle the mysteries of both past and present.

In addition to building Straub's reputation as a writer of quality horror/supernatural fiction, "If You Could See Me Now" caught the attention of Stephen King who provided a lengthy blurb for the dust jacket of the first American edition. As Straub recounts in the essay "Meeting Stevie" in "" (1982) he was deeply impressed by King's sympathetic reading of his work long before the two had met. It was this blurb that prompted Straub to pick up a copy of King's "'Salem's Lot" and ultimately resulted in their meeting in London. They eventually went on to collaborate on the novel "The Talisman" together.

The novel also introduces themes that appear throughout Straub's later novels: the alienated intellectual returning home; digging through layers of memory and history to make sense of violence in childhood; serial killers; a fictionalized rural Wisconsin setting; and the overwhelming power and attraction of sex and violence.