List of The Bill Engvall Show episodes

Season 1: 2007

1. "Good People"-Trent, the third string quarterback ends up as the starting quarterback and Bill struggles trying to help the boy improve his skills. Bill goes a little too far and Trent decides he does not want his dad at the game. Meanwhile, Lauren wants to get her belly button pierced.

2: "Aloha, Raffles"-Bill plans to take the family on vacation to Hawaii. When he discovers that the family dog, Raffles is sick, the family must decide whether or not to try an expensive surgery. The kids try to help raise money to save Raffles in an unconventional way.

3: "How Bill Met Susan"-Susan gets Bill tickets to the Denver Bronco’s football game as an anniversary gift for Bill. Bill got Susan a gift certificate for a day at the spa. Bill gets his game accessories together, a big letter D with a small white picket fence and a Bronco hat (actually the head of the bronco which stands about 8 inches on top of his head). Lauren tells her dad that that fact he does not know how embarrassing he is even more embarrassing. Susan and Bill are waiting on Paul who is delivering the tickets. He is using Veronica, the name he has given to his on board computer, to find the house and ends up at the wrong place. While waiting, Bryan shares that he has to interview people on how they met before there was an Internet. So, Bill and Susan share their story: It was 1987 and Bill was preparing for his one-year anniversary with Hilary. Paul came over and Bill showed him the necklace he was going to give to Hilary and Paul complained that he was losing his hair. After Paul left, Bill tripped and felt into a coffee table. He goes to the ER where Susan is a young nurse and she takes care of him. He had several broken ribs and she gives him a prescription for a pain medicine and writes her phone number on the back of the prescription. The children ask about Hilary and Bill states that he broke up with her shortly after that. When pressed he admits it was several months after he began dating their mother. This is obviously news to Susan and she becomes upset. She refuses to go to the game with Bill. Meanwhile Paul arrived and gives gifts to each one of the children. He gives Trent a video game, Lauren a book about Owls wit a $20.00 bill inside and Bryon he gives the shoes with wheels and leaves. Bill and Susan are still upstairs discussing when they hear a crash. They find Bryan has crashed into the table and Bryan thinks he has broken his Radius. They take him to the ER. When Bill gets the insurance card from his wallet, Susan picks up a paper that fell out; it is the prescription with her phone number on it. She is very surprised that Bill kept this and did not fill it. He tells her that it was the first thing she gave to him. They make up and it turns out that Bryan only had a sprain.

4: "Have You Seen My Muffins, Man?"-Susan decides she wants to sell her muffins to make some extra money, and Bill tries his best to support her even though he's not thrilled with the idea. Bryan works on his rocket for the science fair with the goal to beat one of his friends.

5: "Feel Free To Say No"-Bill and Susan have many issues on to address in their home. Trent is having trouble in school, Bryan's pet snake got loose and Lauren got into a car accident.

6: "Jealous Guy"-Susan informs Bill that they need some more "us time", but when Bill tries to use Paul's advice and tries to take Susan to a Chris Isaak concert, Susan declines because she had a relationship with Chris Isaak in college.

7 "The Birthday"-Bill is celebrating his 46th birthday with the family. Bill is hoping for a motorcycle, but is surprised by his actual gift. Lauren works on getting a fake ID to get into a club.

8 "Go Ahead, See If I Karaoke"-Bill takes Susan out with friends to sing Karaoke and someone has a little too much to drink. Lauren meets a new boy that Bill does not like.

eason 2: 2008

09. "But That's Not Fair-Bill and Susan don't believe that their kids are earning their allowances. To rectify the situation, they make the kids clean the garage for free. The kids respond by going on strike. Meanwhile, Bill struggles with the cell phone company.

10. "Ask Your Mother-Bill decides to become more involved at home, when he discovers that his kids go to their mother for everything. But the plan backfires when Bill lets Lauren go to the mall with a shoplifter. So he decides to make a grid, actually a chart, of all the things the kids do, but he "quits" when it gets too complicated. Meanwhile, Paul has more lady troubles.

11. "No Gifts, Please-Susan breaks her "no gift" policy, leaving Bill with a terrible surprise and guilty conscience. Trent can't sleep so the family tries to make him go to sleep earlier.

12: "Pineblock Derby"-Bill agrees to help Bryan build a car for the pineblock derby, but things backfire when Bill and Bryan are disqualified from "The Pine Block Derby" because Bill lied to Bryan that he built the car, and it turns out that Uncle Paul put Led in the car to make it go faster. Meanwhile, Lauren's new friend takes a liking to Trent. At first, Lauren steps back on their friendship, but then when she learns from her friend that Trent is being "Used" it's time for Lauren to step in.

13: "Susan's Best Friend"-Susan's best friend, who is going through a divorce, comes for a visit; Bill worries that he and Susan are in a rut.

14: "Bill Talks A Good Game"-While Bill and Trent are playing a "Father-And Son" game of Basketball, Bill discovers that Trent can beat him at it. But Trent is talking to Bill about his problem at school, and Bill doesn't even listen because he's trying to prove something to HIMSELF. Meanwhile, Susan feels left out when Lauren And Aunt AJ start spending more time together, really connecting with each other.

15: "Snoop, Dog"-Bill and Susan check Trent's Internet page to see if he is attending a party they assume will have alcohol; Raffles hides under Mr. Faulkner's house. 20.A Reptile Dysfunction

16: "Dream Lover"-Susan has a premonition that Bill will get involved in an affair with a woman named Penelope; Trent wants to get practice time to prepare for his driver's test.

17: "A Reptile Dysfunction"-Paul asks Bryan and Trent to watch his precious iguana terrarium; Lauren gets a job to earn enough money to buy a designer purse.

18: "PromZilla" Susan is unhappy with other options when Bill forces her and Lauren to return an expensive prom dress. Bill later learns that the reason Susan was going all frantic about Lauren's prom is because she says that she never got to dance at her Prom. There was a guy there that she loved, and when she saw him dancing with someone else it humiliated her. And she just wanted Lauren's prom to be perfect. Meanwhile, Bryan is helping Trent make a video to put on YouTube to become an "e-lebrity". First, Trent tries to Skateboard over all kinds of stuff in the driveway-(he took the engine out of his Dad's lawnmower and put it on the skateboard). Then, the plan backfires when Trent puts 2 liters of Coke on the skateboard, and puts Mentoes in it thinking that it's going to be like a rocket. But when Lauren comes out to take a picture, the coke sprays all over her. In the end, Trent And Bryan decide to give Susan a gift by turning into a prom (NOTE: the setup for the prom IS NOT REAL).