Maulers

For the town in France, see Maulers, Oise.

The Maulers are a fictional rock & roll band created in the early 1980s by several friends in Quincy, IL. The characters are Peter Thruster, lead vocals, brothers Eddie & Alex Vas Deferenz, lead guitars/vocals, Bitch Pastey, rhythm guitar/vocals, Slats Magnum, bass/vocals & Jim Smith, drums. The bands manager is Col. Deryk St. Derrick who holds a 50 year, unbreakable contract in which he agrees to manage the band and have complete control of their lives for 80% of their profits.

The purpose of creating the band was to enter an Air Band Contest at a local college. The band won the contest & was invited back for several subsequent visits until it was discovered that only one member of six was actually taking classes, and he was only taking a half credit class. The Maulers were told they could not continue competing since they consistently won, but, would be allowed to perform as an exhibition act. Over the next few years, the Maulers performed in other local airband contests, dazzling audiences with their ability to look like a real rock band, complete with elaborate pyrotechnics & a motorcycle or scooter driven onstage during the song, Bad Motor Scooter by Montrose. With the end of the 80's, came the decline of the Maulers until in 1997, a friend suggested a party in his backyard with real bands & having the Maulers as a headline act. The gathering would be named Maulerpalooza & on November 1, 1997, the Maulers performed once again with the storyline that their citizenship had been revoked due to an affair between lead singer Thruster & the wife of the head of corporate telecommunications giant, MCI. They had been playing in southeast Asian brothels for the last 10 years & were now sneaking back into the country to perform for a few of their loyal fans before their infamous 1980-1999 World Carnage Tour ended.

The performance was a success & the band played once again in the summer of 1998 at a daylong festival, Maulerstock in sweltering heat to over 500 fans gathered in the backyard.

Later that fall came Mauloween with equal success. All the latter day Mauler shows also inculuded a multimedia presentation with a band history & storyline projected on a large video screen near the stage. Local TV anchors were enlisted to appear, along with the Mayor of the city explaining how the Maulers were a local treasure & they had plans to erect a monument in the city square as a shrine. It also explained the absence of Eddie Vas Deferenz, who after years of touring got a couple days off & decided to take a 3 hour boat tour with girlfriend & rising starlet, Ginger Grant.

In the summer of 1999 came the Maullenium show which was attended by over 1000 people. ATV shuttles were employed as mini shuttle busses & the pyro show grew to extreme proportions with over 2000 effects being shot in a 20 minutes performance.

The following summer came Lloyd's Monsters of Rock, named after the owner of the property. Again, nearly 1000 people attended, along with several law enforcement officers at the conclusion. The owners of the property decided that perhaps it was time to seek another venue.

The Maulers live on in cyberspace at www.maulers.com where you can see photos of the band performing, get an insiders look at their production company, Penisaurus Worldwide Productions, and even get advice from lead singer Peter Thruster in his, "Ask Pete" advice column.

External links

• The Maulers Homepage
• The Maulers Official Reference A-Z