Albert (Discworld)

Infobox Discworld character|

name=Alberto "Albert" Malich
description=Death's butler, formerly a wizard.
associations=Death Mort Susan Sto Helit
location=Death's Domain
firstseen="Mort"
alsoin="Reaper Man" "Soul Music" "Hogfather" "The Last Hero" "The Last Continent
notes=Must remain in Death's Domain after his hourglass of life broke, leaving just 5 seconds of life left

Albert (known as Alberto Malich when he founded the Unseen University) is a character from Terry Pratchett's "Discworld" series of novels, first appearing in "Mort".

Character Background

Albert's childhood was touched upon lightly in "Hogfather", revealing that he have comes from a very poor family (even by Ankh-Morpork standards). This novel also suggests that he is fond of pork pies with mustard and adores drinking sherry. Alberto tried to perform the Rite of AshkEnte backwards in order to gain immortality - reasoning that a spell that brings Death "to" you, performed backwards, would keep him "away" from you. Instead it brought him to Death. He succeeded in a way, since Malich was sent to Death's Domain, where Time does not flow in the same way as it does on the Discworld. Death now employs him as his butler. Before returning to the world during "Mort", "Albert" had 91 days, three hours and five minutes of Time left on the Disc, most of which he spent shopping and using the soap and bath at the Young Men's Reformed Cultist of the Ichor-God-Bel-Shamharoth's Association (Death is not very good at making plumbing).

There was a statue of Alberto in the hallway of Unseen University, inscribed (apart from the usual student scribbles) with "We Shall Not See His Like Again". This, of course, turns out to be entirely wrong. After the destruction of the statue in "Mort", and the wizards' belief that the returned Albert was the statue, it is suggested that a new one be built in a very secure place, such as the dungeon (allegedly to prevent it being defiled by students).

Within Albert's 'previous' life as Alberto Malich he was a very powerful Wizard, perhaps the most powerful a Wizard can be (though not likely a Sourceror). This is reflected in how easily Albert devised a spell to slow the passage of time (a near-impossible feat with Discworld magic) indefinitely around a small area.

Albert is also a highly idiosyncratic cook, believing everything needs to be fried to get rid of the germs, including porridge.

Appearances in the Discworld series

When Death goes missing in "Soul Music", Albert tries to find him on the Disc but gets robbed and his life-timer (hourglass of life) is broken. After this incident, Albert has approximately 5 seconds left, and thus cannot return to the world of the living anymore, as Death cannot make his life longer. The remaining sand is now kept in a bottle in Albert's bedroom. However, Albert is able to temporarily return to the Discworld during the events of "Hogfather", although in this instance he merely inhabits the pseudo-reality created for the Hogfather to allow him to travel around the entire world in a single night, and hence is not actually "in" the world.

Albert makes a brief appearance in "The Last Hero", when he tries to explain the uncertainty principle to Death, using the metaphor of placing a cat in a box and claiming that the animal only dies when someone looks at it. Death does not understand the metaphor, however, and claims that the experiment is cruel to cats.

Albert also makes a brief appearance in "The Last Continent". He is assisting Death in the library as he researches the continent of XXXX (Fourecks).

Relationship with Death

While Death and Albert seem to get on rather well, it is a fragile relationship. In "Mort", Albert returns to the world to help Death, but seems ready to attack him when it looks like he has his former job as Archchancellor back. He also seems not to trust Death with his life-timer, which is why he takes it with him in "Soul Music". Frequently, Albert finds himself trying to keep Death "on course" when his master becomes too human. He and Susan do not get on very well.

Appearances in other media

In Cosgrove Hall's 1996 animated "Soul Music", Albert was voiced by Bryan Pringle. In BBC Radio 4's 2004 adaptation of "Mort", he was voiced by Philip Jackson.

In Sky One's live-action version of "Hogfather", he was played by David Jason.

Albert also makes an appearance in the Discworld computer game,

External links

* [http://wiki.lspace.org/ Discworld & Pratchett Wiki]