Banksia Park, South Australia

Infobox Australian Place | type = suburb
name = Banksia Park
city = Adelaide
state = sa


imagesize= 150
caption = Banksia Park street scape
est =
lga = City of Tea Tree Gully
postcode = 5091
pop = 3,455 (2001 census)
area = 5.1
propval = [http://www.domain.com.au/public/suburbprofile.aspx?searchTerm=Banksia+Park&mode=buy $258,000] (2006)
stategov = Electoral district of Newland
fedgov = Division of Makin
near-nw = Surrey Downs
near-n = Fairview Park
near-ne = Lower Hermitage
near-w = Redwood Park
near-e = Lower Hermitage
near-sw = St Agnes
near-s = Tea Tree Gully
near-se = Lower Hermitage
dist1 = 20
location1= Adelaide

Banksia Park is a north-eastern suburb of Adelaide, South Australia. It is nominally located at coord|34|48|S|138|44|E, [Gazetteer of Australia | name = Banksia Park | id = 165495] within the City of Tea Tree Gully. Its postcode is 5091.

Residents

Banksia Park has a population of 3,455 with 48% being in the age group of 25 to 54 years. Further studies have proven that 100% of the residents reside in Banksia Park. In hindsight the latter survey was pointless. [Census 2001 AUS|id=SSC41091|name=Banksia Park (State Suburb)|accessdate=2007-06-30|quick=on]

Gangs

BBC (Banksia Boys’ Crew, not to be confused for the credible British Broadcasting Commission) and VTS are two joined gangs who rule the streets of Banksia and surrounding suburbs. Known for crazy antics and ruthless ways they are feared by all other street gangs and groups. The 'crazy' and 'ruthless' ways that the ‘gangs’ (alternatively known as ‘crews’,’gangstaz’ or most commonly ‘wankers’) are well known for basically consist of tagging random pieces of public property, such as bus stops. A tag is made up of the three initials of the try-hard ‘gang’ name. The more illegible the tag is, and the more arrows incorporated, the ‘better’ the tag is. When the pathetic pieces of vandalism are located by responsible members of the society, they are simply painted over.

The ‘gangs' are well known for being gutless wannabes. Additionally they are known for poor music taste, clothing choices, and general behaviour, a typical member of one of these 'gangs' will be sitting on a trolley at the Tea Tree Plaza Interchange (note that they have no actual reason for being there, as they hardly ever have the need to catch the bus into the city due to their lack of normal social life) listening to music (in the loose sense of the term) on their Chinese knock-off versions of iPods. The 'music' is often some form of hip-hop or rap, which is despised by most normal members of society. 'Gang' members often have trouble wearing their pants, yet do not succumb to the aid of a belt, instead opting to wear them half way down their legs, exposing their buttocks (much to the joy of homosexual men), and thus defeating the purpose of underwear. They are also often heard shouting incoherent, vulgar nonsense.’

Typically, ‘gang’ members are male; however some females also stoop low enough to join a ‘gang’. The female ‘gang’ members are sluts that degrade themselves by having sex with majority of the gang members; however they usually claim to be ‘going out’ with just one ‘gang’ member. A humorous example of a ‘gang’ member is Sam Bloom. He is what is known as a living joke. He is a greater try-hard than most ‘gang’ members. He exhibits all the regular qualities of a try-hard gangster (i.e. inability to wear pants). He is also has unusual interests in grating his flesh is metal grids, headbutting almost anything, and walking in any direction other than straight. His heightened stupidity and bowl-cut hairstyle also add to the comedy. The most hilarious thing about Sam, is the fact that he is barely over five foot tall, and has a rotund figure. Sam, like most ‘gangsters’ is unable to competently drive a car, yet attempts to do so anyway, luckily the police revoke their licence sooner or later. What makes Sam’s driving attempts further humorous is the fact that he has trouble seeing over the dash board, nothing is funnier than watching him try to see out the windscreen of his car, whilst "trying" to act ‘cool’, in the event that another try-hard ‘gangster’ was to see him.

‘Gang’ member are looked down upon by all other members of society, and they are well aware of it. Their antics, are a miserable attempt to rebel against the rest of society, who are successful in their lives, and are actually getting somewhere with them. Unfortuantly ‘gang’ members are unlikely to ever grow up and we will have to endure their actions for the rest of their lives (logically, we will outlive them, due to their heightened chances of death due to excessive smoking, poor driving ability etc.). [Census 2001 AUS|id=SSC41091|name=Banksia Park (State Suburb)|accessdate=2007-06-30|quick=on]

References