Rights and obligations of spouses in Islam

Islam advocates a subservient relationship between husband and wife. It puts the main responsibility of earning over the husband. Both are obliged to fulfill the other's sexual needs. Husbands are asked to be kind to their wives and wives are asked to be obedient to their husbands. However, in case of rebellious behaviour, the husband is asked to urge his wife to mend her ways, to refuse to share their beds and husbands are allowed to admonish their wives by beating as a last choice to solve the problem. The beating should be done with an item no larger than a toothbrush, and it should not leave any marks. He is not allowed to strike her face.

Gender roles

In many Islamic societies, there is a division of roles creating a woman’s space in the private sphere of the home and a man’s in the public sphere. [Hessini, L., 1994, Wearing the Hijab in Contemporary Morocco: Choice and Identity, in Göçek, F. M. & Balaghi, S., "Reconstructing Gender in the Middle East: Tradition, Identity & Power", New York, Columbia University Press ] A woman's primary responsibility is usually interpreted as fulfilling her role as a wife and mother, [Ahmed, L., 1992, "Women and Gender in Islam: Historical Roots of a Modern Debate", New Haven, Yale University Press.] whereas a man’s role is to work and be able to financially support his wife and family. [Hessini, L., 1994, Wearing the Hijab in Contemporary Morocco: Choice and Identity, in Göçek, F. M. & Balaghi, S., "Reconstructing Gender in the Middle East: Tradition, Identity & Power", New York, Columbia University Press ]

Domestic violence and behaviour with rebellious wives

In case of rebellious behaviour, Verse 34 of an-Nisa says the husband should urge his wife to mend her ways, to refuse to share their beds, and to admonish their wives by beating. [Ibn Kathir, “Tafsir of Ibn Kathir”, Al-Firdous Ltd., London, 2000, 50-53]

There is conflict within Islamic scholars about the proper interpretation of this and related texts. Some scholars urge that "idribûhunna", normally translated as "beat," should instead be translated as "separate." There is also conflict about the proper severity of beatings, and whether the aforementioned remedies for rebellion must be taken in sequence. Some scholars say that beating should be used only as a last resort, and that not beating is preferable to beating.

Sexual relations

Except a few restrictions of having sex during menstruation and anal sex, Islam advocates pleasure from sex between husband and wife.

As Qur'an states:

The scholars of Islam explained that keeping away and not approaching means that there should be no intercourse during that period. Muhammad used to kiss his wives when they had menses. The husband may enjoy (sexual activity) other than intercourse, because of the hadeeth of Anas who said that among the Jews, when a woman had her menses they would not eat with her or stay in the same house with her. The Companions of Muhammad asked him about this, and Allaah revealed the aayah, “They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: That is an adha (a harmful thing for a husband to have sexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses), therefore keep away from women during menses…” [al-Baqarah 2:222] . Muhammad said, “Do everything except have intercourse.” News of this reached the Jews, and they said, “What does this man want? He doesn’t leave anything of ours alone without saying something different!” (Reported by Muslim, 455) A’isha reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) would recline in my lap when I was menstruating. Narrated by Muslim. Also, Zainab (daughter of Ummu Salama) reported that her mother said, "While I was (lying) with Allah's Messenger underneath a woolen sheet, I got the menstruation, and then slipped away and put on the clothes (which I used to wear) in menses. He asked, "What is the matter? Did you get your menses?" I replied in the affirmative and then entered underneath that woolen sheet. I and Allah's Messenger used to take a bath from one water pot and he used to kiss me while he was fasting." [Bukhari] . Also, Aisha reported: The Prophet said to me, "Bring the mat for me from the mosque." I said: "I have got menses." He said: "Your menstruation is not in your hand"

Husbands are asked to satisfy the sexual desires of their wives and vice versa although greater emphasis is placed on male sexuality. As it is attributed to Muhammad:

* “Not one of you should fall upon your wife like an animal; but let there first be a messenger between you.” “And what is that messenger?” they asked, and he replied: “Kisses and words.”
* “When one of you have sex with your wife, it is a rewarded act of charity.” The Companions were surprised and said, “But we do it purely out of our desire. How can it be counted as charity?” The Prophet replied, “If you had done it with a forbidden woman, it would have been counted as a sin, but if you do it in legitimacy, it is counted as charity.”
* “No solution is ever better for two people who are in love like marriage.”Also in hadith:
*If a man invites his wife to sleep with him and she refuses, then the angels send their curses on her till morning. Sahih Bukhari, Vol. 7, No. 121-2
*When a man sends for his wife for the satisfaction of his need, she should go to him even if she may be occupied in baking bread. Reported by Tirmidhi and Nisai, No. 284

See also

* Women in Islam
*Gender roles in Islam

Bibliography

* Azizah Y. al-Hibri, " [http://www.karamah.org/docs/DomViolfinal.pdf An Islamic Perspective on Domestic Violence] (pdf)", Vol. 37, Fordham International Law Journal, 2003.
* Moiz Amjad, " [http://www.understanding-islam.com/related/text.asp?type=question&qid=544 Beating wives in Islam] ", Understanding-islam.com

References