The Botched Language of the Cranes

Infobox Television episode | Title = The Botched Language of the Cranes
Series = Frasier
Season = 2


Caption = Frasier in his disastrous speech
Episode = 06
Airdate = 1 November 1994 (U.S.)
Production = 40571-002
Writer = Joe Keenan
Director = David Lee
Guests = George DelHoyo (Father Mike)
Helen Geller (Sister Joselia)
Alfre Woodard (Voice of Edna)
Sandra Dee (Voice of Connie)
Prev = Duke's, We Hardly Knew Ye
Next = The Candidate

"The Botched Language of the Cranes" is the sixth episode of the second season of American sitcom "Frasier".

Cast and characters

Main cast and characters

*Kelsey Grammer – Dr. Frasier Crane
*David Hyde Pierce – Dr. Niles Crane
*John Mahoney – Martin Crane
*Jane Leeves – Daphne Moon
*Peri Gilpin – Roz Doyle

Recurring cast

*Dan Butler – Bob 'Bulldog' Briscoe

Plot outline

The episode opens with Frasier entering the KACL radio station, violently shaking his umbrella and complaining to Roz about the rain outside. Roz starts to read him a list of requests for appearances; Frasier accepts the first two, but declines St. Bartholomew's Hospital's request for an appearance at their fund raiser. Roz is somewhat sarcastic about this, but Frasier explains: he is still angry with the way they treated him last year when they asked him to make an appearance. He went to a great deal of trouble (including postponing a trip to see Frederick) in order to prepare for the appearance, and then was phoned and informed that they didn't need him, as their first choice, Kathie Lee Gifford, had become available.

Frasier's show begins. He reads a statement from the show's sponsor, "Pet Paradise", a type of funeral service for people's pets, and then takes a call from a listener who says she is depressed because she's been in the same job for fifteen years. Frasier suggests it's time for a change, even suggesting that she could leave Seattle, calling it "dreary" and "soggy."

The next morning, it is still raining. Martin reads a section from Derek Mann's column in the newspaper, in which he describes Frasier as "the Seattle-hating Dr. Crane" and states that Frasier's leaving town would cure "his" depression. Frasier insists that Derek Mann took what he said completely out of context, but Martin tells Frasier that he should apologize anyway, because many people take a lot of pride in the city and don't appreciate "some radio know-it-all telling them it's rainy and depressing." Frasier dismisses Martin's remarks, stating that, "Seattle loves Frasier Crane!" Just then, a bolt of lightning is heard.

Frasier arrives at the radio station to find Roz on the phone, insisting to an offended listener that Frasier wasn't criticizing Seattle; he was trying to help the woman who phoned in. Roz hangs up and tells Frasier that thanks to him, she's been on the phone all morning, talking to people who have been complaining about what Frasier said about Seattle. Frasier can hardly believe that his remarks have caused so much upset; the switchboard has logged over fifty irate calls.After sitting through numerous listeners complaining about Frasier's remarks, Frasier finally apologizes on air, but then, not realizing that he's still on the air, calls the listeners "whiny, provincial cry-babies" and states that the city has "lost its tiny, rain-addled mind." Roz points out that they're still on the air.

Back at Frasier's apartment, Martin and Daphne are watching Niles trying to set up a new TV. Frasier enters, once again shaking his umbrella violently. The winds had eased up; one of Frasier's listeners recognized him and pulled his umbrella backwards through a chain link fence. At Cafe Nervosa, he saw three tables hissing at him.

The phone rings. Martin tells Daphne not to answer it, as it will just be somebody else complaining about Frasier; he states that they've been calling there all day. Daphne answers it, nonetheless, and berates the caller for being rude to her. Niles takes the phone from her and also berates the listener for being rude to Daphne, and challenges the listener to come and say those things to his face. When the caller asks where he is, however, Niles quickly remarks "What Address? Who Cares?" and hangs up.

Roz arrives and tells Frasier that the station manager may have to suspend him if something isn't done soon to sort everything out. She says what they need is some damage control, and suggests that Frasier call St Bartholomew's hospital and tell them he'll come to speak at their fund raiser. Frasier agrees and calls Father Mike to ask him for some inoffensive jokes he can use.

At the fundraiser, Frasier is sitting at a table next to Sister Joselia, who tells him she hopes his jokes aren't too racy or risqué. She mentions a joke that was used last year – Frasier quickly crosses it out from his list.

He heads off to meet Niles, Daphne, Martin and Roz, who have a table together, and then goes off to the bathroom. While he is in the bathroom, Father Mike makes an announcement that Bishop Cologie, who normally introduces the guest speaker, was out fishing that afternoon when his boat was hit by a storm and capsized, and that at the moment, he remains missing. He then announces Frasier himself, and looks around for him; Frasier emerges from the bathroom, unaware of what has happened to Bishop Cologie.

Frasier then proceeds to constantly put his foot in it. He tells the audience, "I expected the Bishop to introduce me, but I'm sure he'll drift in eventually." He then starts to tell a joke about a priest, a rabbi and a minister who are on the "Titanic". Sister Joselia nudges him and hisses, "Dr Crane! The Bishop!" Frasier misunderstands, and thinks Sister Joselia is telling him that there is a Bishop in the joke, and changes the "priest" to a "bishop", and continues to tell the joke. Roz calls out to him, "Frasier! The bishop is lost at sea!" but Frasier once again misunderstands and continues telling the joke to an increasingly appalled audience. Once he has finished, everyone is staring at him in shock, believing him to be remarkably callous.

The show ends with Frasier writing out a large cheque to the hospital.

Episode Title Cards

*"It will be the world's first four-legged leprechaun"
*"Let a smile be your umbrella"
*"Man overboard"

Memorable Quotations

"Bulldog enters the recording studio"
Bulldog: Hey, Doc. I need some advice. I feel a cold coming on, and I'm wondering, should I take vitamin C or should I just leave Seattle? "(bursts into laughter and smacks Frasier over the head with a newspaper)"

References to other works

The title to this episode is a reference to "The Lost Language of Cranes", a novel by David Leavitt; the novel has also been made into a movie: (see imdb title|id=0102337|title=The Lost Language of Cranes), a 1991 made for television movie starring Brian Cox, Eileen Atkins, Rose Benjamin, and Angus MacFadyen.

External links

*imdb episode|id=0582519|episode=The Botched Language of the Cranes (incorrectly listed as "…Language of Cranes")