Linda La Hughes

Infobox character
colour = #ff9900
name = Linda La Hughes


caption = Kathy Burke as Linda.
first = "Who's That Boy?"
last = "Decoy"
cause =
nickname = "Lindy"
alias = John Hughes (birth name)
species = Human
gender = Female
age = 41
born = 1960
death =
occupation = Unemployed
title = Miss
family = Sugar Walls (sister), "Daddy" (father), Queenie/Dolly (mother, deceased)
spouse =
children = Zippy (son)
relatives = Cousin Velma (unseen)
residence = 69a Paradise Passage, Kentish Town, London
episode =
portrayer = Kathy Burke
creator = Jonathan Harvey

Linda Lolita Lulu La Hughes (née John Hughes) is a fictional character who appeared in the 1999-2001 British sitcom "Gimme Gimme Gimme". She was played by comedian and director Kathy Burke.

Appearance

Linda, identifiable by her bright red perm, white glasses and bright lycra clothes. Linda appears to love herself, and is oblivious to the fact that she is actually hideously ugly. This was explained in series 3, when Linda was diagnosed with reversed body dismorphic disorder.

Personality

Linda is loudmouthed, lecherous and also bears a form of stupidity which borders upon mental retardation. Linda is excessively vain and conceited, and feebly attempts to pass her age off as something unbelievable, such as eighteen or twenty eight. She is also violent, homophobic, mentally unstable and will sleep with anything on legs. Linda is convinced any man who rejects her, due to her ugliness and vile personality, is gay.

Despite the fact that few positive things can be said about Linda, it can be said that she was close to her mother. Her father, on the other hand, detests her, as does her sister Sharon La Hughes (AKA Sugar Walls.) Her father has delivered the somewhat ridiculous story he cannot see her as he lives in an iron lung, which is really a sideboard.

Background

Linda lives at 69a Paradise Passage, Kentish Town with her flatmate Tom Farrell. Her neighbours are elderly ex-prostitute Beryl Merit and the gormless middle class family Jez, Suze and baby Leigh Littlewood.

Linda was born in 1960 on a crate of John Player Specials in Romford Market, thus her birth name, John. Her parents only realised she was a girl after the first two weeks. She had her first kiss at the age of eight, but with a horse named Samson - she said "I yawned; he licked!".

Raised on a decrepity council estate (common stereotyping of lower class), Linda often indulges in bizarre stories of her childhood, which she believes was blissful, but actually suggest abuse or criminal neglect, such as how she lived in a kennel, slept on a doormat as a baby and how her aunt left her in a car boot for two weeks to go on holiday; however Linda always thinks of these as positive experiences. Her mother (named Queenie in series two and renamed Dolly in series three), was close to Linda and often took her on "lovely" mother/daughter outings, such as taking a six year old Linda to see the film The Bitch. Apparently, Mrs La Hughes was electrocuted by her own slender tone pads. Mr La Hughes did not think much of his daughter, who in return loves him deeply. Linda admitted that every time she returned home at night, her father would remark, "Oh, look, the cow's come home."

Linda was educated at the Convent of Our Lady by the Zebra Crossing in East Ham, but was expelled for importuning a priest. She later attended the Eva Braun Borstal for Young Fallen Women in Bromley-by-Bow. Linda loved her time at borstal apart from the toughest bailiff, Shirley Twitch who reappeared in Linda's life in series three.

Relationships

Despite her hideous appearance, Linda has had several grotesque relationships during her life. Her first "date" was with Billy the caretaker at her borstal; Billy was arrested shortly afterward. One of her old boyfriends apparently worked late nights at the slaughterhouse, and preferred it when Linda didn't move during sex, implying her boyfriend was a fan of necrophilia. Another old boyfriend was an arsonist. She also dated the most dangerous man in Britain, Freddie Windrush (played by Phil Daniels) and planned to flee to Spain with him, until he fell in love with Tom.

Linda shocked and appalled herself and Tom when, after a wild night's drinking, she dragged a female taxi driver, named Maddy (played by Moya Brady) into her bed and had wild lesbian sex with her, which Maddy thought was fantastic. Linda was horrified and went on a quest to prove she was not gay. After doing so and celebrating with another night's drinking, Linda awoke to find Maddy in her bed once more, having once again had sex with her.

Family

She had a baby, Zippy, who was given up for adoption. However, this is a continuity error. Zippy says he is 28, and the show's episode was made in 2001, making Linda 40-41 at the time. This means that she actually had Zippy at age 12-13. He later found his birth mother in series 3. Other family members include Sugar Walls, Linda's glamorous superstar sister, who appeared in series 1 and 2.

Several other family members are referred to in the series but are never seen. Linda has various aunts and uncles, all of whom seem to be ether mentally disabled or physically deformed in one way or another; Auntie Ivy was a cyclops, and Uncle Billy was a flasher. She also has a cousin named Velma.