A Soldier's Farewell

Infobox Dad's Army
episode_number episode_name=043 - A Soldier's Farewell
script=Jimmy Perry and David Croft
director=David Croft
producer=David Croft
recorded=Friday 2/6/72
original_transmission=13/10/72 6.50pm
series=Five
length=30 minutes
viewing_figures=??? million
preceding=Keep Young and Beautiful
following=Getting The Bird

"A Soldier's Farewell" is the third episode of the fifth series of the British television sitcom "Dad's Army" that was originally transmitted on 13 October 1972.

ynopsis

Mainwairing is depressed: his men are falling short of his expectations, his leadership is unappreciated and his dreams are filled with Frenchmen.

Plot

The episode opens with the Walmington-on-Sea Home Guard unit in Eastgate cinema, watching a takeoff of a famous film about Napoleon "Conquest". A panning shot moves across the faces of the platoon while they are watching, Mainwaring looking superior, Wilson looking bored, Frazer muttering 'rubbish', Pike sucking his thumb, Godfrey asleep... At the end of the film the National Anthem begins, but the platoon all stampede out apart from Mainwaring who gets knocked over in the rush but struggles up to stand to attention while the anthem plays to a now empty cinema.

The platoon is next seen on the upper deck of a bus going back to Walmington. Mainwaring asks the platoon what they thought of the film. Sponge says they should have sat at the front as he couldn't see. Mainwaring says he was disappointed - he thought the film would have been about strategy and tactics but consisted of Greta Garbo being chased around a four poster bed. Walker replies that that "is" strategy and tactics.

Wilson and Mainwaring are given their tickets by an attractive bus conductress who Mainwaring takes a fancy to, and when Walker, Pike and Jones start larking about then singing a rude song Mainwaring stops them and apologises to the bus conductress, who is grateful and says he is "very gallant". Warden Hodges arrives, and teases the platoon for going to the cinema and not being ready for Hitler. Whilst buying a ticket he asks the bus conductress for a "tickle at the terminus". Mainwaring is furious and intervenes again, and is thanked by the bus conductress. Mainwaring then instructs the platoon that after their disgraceful behaviour in the cinema, they are to let him go off the bus first and in an orderly fashion. When the bus stops at Walmington, Hodges lets him get half way down the bus then shouts "It's closing time in five minutes", thus causing Mainwaring to get knocked over again in the stampede as the platoon rush for the pub.

Next the platoon are on parade. Frazer gives a long rambling explanation of how he complained to the manager about the "sheer historical inaccuracies of the film", but eventually admits sheepishly that he got his money back. Mainwaring berates them for the two examples of bad behaviour. They apologise, but he responds by saying that "fine words butter no parsnips". This provokes a discussion in the ranks until he says that the platoon will have to stand to attention whilst Sergeant Wilson plays the British National Anthem on the gramophone 20 times. They stand to attention, but Wilson plays the German National Anthem by mistake, and is half asleep so Mainwaring has to shout at him to take it off. He and Wilson go to Mainwaring's office, where they find the vicar at his desk, who refuses to get out of the way for Mainwaring. Whilst Jones continues to play the National Anthem at an increasing speed, Mainwaring and the vicar have to stand, then race to sit on the chair, like musical chairs.

The next scene is in Mainwaring's office after the parade. Walker arrives and gives Sgt Wilson two bottles of Black Market stout, and presents Mainwaring with some similarly sourced cheddar cheese. Mainwaring excuses this to Wilson by saying it is for his vegetarian wife. He rings her to spring this 'toasted cheese supper' surprise on her, but she gets the wrong idea on the phone and says she has a headache and is going to bed. Mainwaring is disappointed, but Wilson suggests they eat the cheese between them. Mainwaring is touched, then Jones arrives and, tempted by the cheese, offers some kidneys if he can join them. Cut to the end of the feast, when Jones tells a wonderful rambling story about a native girl he nearly married in the Sudan. Mainwaring leaves to go home, suggesting that the bus conductress they met earlier wouldn't have turned down a toasted cheese supper.

The next scene is in Mainwaring's Anderson shelter in his garden. He is having a restless night after eating the (rather indigestible) meal with Wilson and Jones. He takes some bismuth (indigestion) tablets.

The scene now shifts into a dream by Mainwaring about Napoleon at the Waterloo. It features the rest of the cast in typical roles, Wilson is Wellington, flanked by senior officers played by Hodges and Frazer. Many catch phrases and actions are used; "put that light out", "you stupid boy", Private Godfrey's "upside down cakes", "Oi, Napoleon", and also some phrases from earlier in the episode such as Sponge saying "we should have sat at the front in the nine-pennies" when Mainwaring complains that he can't see the battle. At the surrender, Wilson acts very superior, for instance asking Mainwaring for his full name and address, and refusing to let Mainwaring borrow his pen. Mainwaring says farewell to his troops, with great comic effect. Hodges then tells the troops that the Duke will buy them all a drink, and in the stampede they knock Mainwaring over into the mud.

Mainwaring is next seen standing next to the bus conductress, dressed like Josephine Bonaparte just before Napoleon is sent into exile. They exchange farewells, then Mainwaring wakes up, to find that he has overslept and he has a rude note from his wife complaining that he didn't come home last night.

Cast

Notes

* The film the platoon are watching at the beginning of the episode is most probably a parody of Conquest a 1937 film about Napoleon directed by Clarence Brown and starred Greta Garbo and Charles Boyer. Despite the platoon's unfavourable review of it, the film won two academy awards.
* The battle scenes reference the Battle of Waterloo with Mainwairing as Napoleon, and Wilson as the Duke of Wellington. It is noticeable that the three men of Mainwairing side, the French soldiers Jones, Pike and Godfrey are his three loyalist men while the three opposing British Generals are Wilson, Fraser and Hodges some of his most difficult counterparts. Walker, typically, is an ambivalent messenger trying to sell things to either side.
* This episode seems to reference a certain way Captain Mainwairing has with the ladies. He is seen bonding with a clippie, and calling her a 'charming woman' prompting much ribaldry amongst his troops.

References

*cite book|title=The Complete A-Z of Dad’s Army|author=Croft, David; Perry, Jimmy; Webber, Richard|date=2000|publisher=Orion|isbn= 0-75284-637-X
*imdb title|0552271
*tv.com episode|67150