The Merv Griffin Show (Seinfeld)

Infobox Television episode
Title = The Merv Griffin Show
Series = Seinfeld


Caption = Newman, Jerry, Kramer and George on the set of the "Merv Griffin Show".
Season = 9
Episode = 162
Airdate = November 6, 1997
Production =
Writer = Bruce Eric Kaplan
Director = Andy Ackerman
Guests = Jim Fowler
Episode list = List of "Seinfeld" episodes
Season list = Infobox Seinfeld season 9 episode list
Prev =
Next =

"The Merv Griffin Show" is the 162nd episode of the NBC sitcom "Seinfeld". This was the 6th episode of the 9th and final season. It aired on November 6, 1997 and appeared on DVD 10 years later. The working title for this episode was "The Merv Griffin Set". Jerry's apartment is not featured in the episode.

Plot

Kramer discovers the set of the old "Merv Griffin Show" in a dumpster. George's girlfriend, Miranda, is disgusted when George runs over some pigeons with his car. George believes that pigeons and humans "have a deal" (pigeons are to move out of the way when humans approach, and humans will overlook the pigeons' statue defecation), and that the pigeons have broken the deal. Jerry is fascinated with his girlfriend's old toy collection that she won't let him near. Elaine's new co-worker is a real "sidler": he moves silently behind people. He causes Elaine to spill coffee that creates a stain that looks like Fidel Castro.

Kramer reconstructs the set of the "Merv Griffin Show" in his apartment. He pretends that the show is still on the air and acts as the new host, even using the show's theme when guests come onto the set, conducting interviews of everyone who enters his apartment. Kramer even stops interviews and cuts to a "commercial break" where he sips on a Diet Coke and eats from a bag of chips, before exclaiming "We're back!" Elaine schemes to out-sidle the sidler who might be sidling her out of a job. While George swerves to avoid a pigeon, he hits a squirrel. Jerry schemes for an opportunity to play with his girlfriend's toys. Kramer adds Newman as a co-host for his show to help relieve the pressure of being a host.

Miranda insists that George pay for the special surgery required to fix the squirrel. Elaine gives Tic Tacs to the sidler to make him noisy; unfortunately the sound annoys J. Peterman, which reminds him of an old Haitian torture. Jerry and George treat Jerry's girlfriend to a dinner of turkey and wine, followed by a slow movie; they hope that the wine and the tryptophan in the turkey will cause her to fall asleep, and she soon dozes off. Once she is asleep, Jerry and George happily play with the toys. Later, Elaine joins in to play with an Easy-Bake Oven.

Kramer is concerned about his "ratings" and decides to change the format of the show to "Scandals and Animals". On the "show" (still without cameras) Kramer gets Jerry to admit that he has been drugging his girlfriend. Kramer then brings out the angry girlfriend (who was "backstage"); she breaks up with Jerry as Kramer and Newman do their best to whip up the non-existent audience.

For the Animals segment of the show, Kramer invites animal expert Jim Fowler, who arrives with a hawk ("Where are the cameras?"). George brings the squirrel over to the set to get Jim Fowler's opinion, and the hawk goes after it. "The Merv Griffin set" is destroyed in the process, and afterwards Kramer comments that "It was just too much pressure hosting a talk show."