The Bris

Infobox Television episode
Title = The Bris
Series = Seinfeld


Caption = The Mohel at the bris.
Season = 5
Episode = 69
Airdate = October 14, 1993
Production =
Writer = Larry Charles
Director = Tom Cherones
Guests = Charles Levin
Episode list = List of "Seinfeld" episodes
Season list = Infobox Seinfeld season 5 episode list
Prev =
Next =

"The Bris" is the sixty-ninth episode of the hit sitcom "Seinfeld". This was the 5th episode for the fifth season. It aired on October 14, 1993.

Plot

The four go to the hospital to meet friends who have just had a baby. At the hospital, George gets a fortunate parking spot right in front of the hospital, which becomes unfortunate when a mental patient at the hospital suicidally jumps from the roof and lands on it. George then attempts to get the hospital to pay for the car's damages. Kramer stumbles into the wrong room at the hospital and becomes convinced that he has seen a "pigman", part of a conspiracy theory concerning the government and genetic mutation, claiming, "The government's been experimenting with pig-men since the fifties!" The incident of discovering a pigman in a hospital bed parodies the British 1973 film "O Lucky Man!". When George thinks there should be pigmen walking around, Jerry tells George that there is always some "group of perverts that's attracted to it, 'that little tail really turns me on.'" In "Shallow Hal", Jason Alexander's character has a little tail, and in fact, there is a group of females who are attracted to it.
Elaine and Jerry become nervous about the religious duties they must perform when they agree to become godparents to the newborn baby, obligated to arrange the bris, which involves booking a Mohel and holding the baby during the circumcision. At the bris, Elaine's unstable, shaky Mohel arrives (guest star Charles Levin). Kramer, disturbed by the concept of the bris, attempts to stop it, and the Mohel accidentally circumcizes Jerry's finger. The four go to the hospital, where Jerry's finger is attended to. Kramer finds the "pigman" (whom he later discovers is actually a "fat little mental patient") and "liberates" him from the hospital. The "pigman" steals George's car. The ending of this episode parodies "The Godfather", even using the theme music from the movie. This is the last episode where Kramer gets applauded on his first entrance into Jerry's apartment, because Larry David had begged the studio audience to stop doing so, since he felt it wasted screen time and it threw off the actors' timing. According to the Notes About Nothing feature of the episode on the DVD, Jason Alexander has stated that this is the only episode he wishes was never made; his objections specifically centered around the character of the mohel, whose behavior (specifically, his hatred of children) bothered him.

Quotes

Kramer: The pig-man! I saw a pig-man! He was just lying there and then he woke up. He looked up at me and made this horrible sound, eeeeaaaahhh, eeeeaaaahhh.

Kramer: Believe me Jerry, somewhere in this hospital, the anguished "oink" of Pig-Man cries out for help.
Jerry: Well, if I hear an anguished "oink", I'm outta here.

Kramer: Look, I know what's going on here, the oink, oink. Look here you little quack, there was a half man, half pig holed up in that room, there. Now where is he?! Where is he?! You know what- bacon, sausage, A-deek-a-deek-a-deek th-th-th-that's all folks.

George: He couldn't move over two feet! Land on the sidewalk, it's city property!

George: Someone's going to pay for this and it's not going to be me.
Jerry: Oh, you're screwed.
George: I know.

Mrs. Sweedler: Flew right past the children's wing. Apparently, they thought he was flying. You know how children are. "Oh, look a man is flying, a man is flying!" Then, SPLAT.

George: I wish there were pigmen. You get a few of these pigmen walking around and suddenly I'm looking a whole lot better. Then if somebody wants to fix me up at least they could say, "Hey at least he's no pig-man!"