Self-pity

Self-pity

Self-pity is a psychological state of mind of an individual in perceived adverse situations who has not accepted the situation and does not have the confidence nor ability to cope with it. It is characterized by a person's belief that he or she is the victim of events and is therefore deserving of condolence.

Self-pity is generally regarded as a negative emotion in that it does not generally help deal with adverse situations. However, in a social context it may result in either the offering of sympathy or advice. Self-pity may be considered normal, and in certain circumstances healthy, so long as it is transitory and leads to either acceptance or a determination to change the situation.

Additionally, self-pity can be remarkably self-sustaining particularly in conjunction with depression or other conditions. For example: a child at school feels badly because they see others as more social or outgoing. If the child does not take action by attempting to get to know others despite potential negative consequences (such as rejection) then they may continue to feel alone, and their feelings of self-pity will be sustained.

Self-pity is a way of paying attention to oneself, albeit negatively; it is a means self-soothing or self-nurturing ("I hurt so much"). Social-Learning theorists purport that self-pity is a method for gaining attention, probably as a child, where an individual received attention, support, and nurturing while being sick or hurt. The child then grows up having learned to give attention to oneself (or ask for attention from others) while in real or dramatized distress to receive the same payoff.

Thus, another form of self-sustainment can be sympathy offered by others: "oh, you poor thing." This is particularly true of individuals who exhibit sociopathic or psychopathic tendenciesFact|date=June 2008 and rely on the sympathy offered by others as a means to manipulate.

"Self-Pity" is also the title of a short poem by D. H. Lawrence. [http://rpo.library.utoronto.ca/poem/1250.html] The poem was prominently cited by Viggo Mortensen's character in the film G.I. Jane. It is also a song by American hardcore punk band AFI, from their album "Answer That and Stay Fashionable".

References

External links

* [http://humanityquest.com/topic/index.asp?theme1=self-pity Survey of much more material]
* [http://www.pete-walker.com/recoverySelfpity.htm Recovery and Healthy Self-Pity] by Pete Walker, M.A.


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  • self-pity — self pitying, adj. self pityingly, adv. /self pit ee, self /, n. pity for oneself, esp. a self indulgent attitude concerning one s own difficulties, hardships, etc.: We must resist yielding to self pity and carry on as best we can. [1615 25] * *… …   Universalium

  • self-pity — 1620s, from SELF (Cf. self) + PITY (Cf. pity) …   Etymology dictionary

  • self-pity — [self′pit′ē] n. pity for oneself, esp. pity that is self indulgent or exaggerated …   English World dictionary

  • self-pity — n [U] the feeling of being sad and ↑depressed because you think that something unfair or unpleasant has happened to you used to show disapproval ▪ a note of self pity in her voice >self pitying adj ▪ a self pitying mood …   Dictionary of contemporary English

  • self-pity — noun uncount the feeling that your situation is worse than other people s and that people should feel sad for you ╾ ,self pitying adjective …   Usage of the words and phrases in modern English

  • self-pity — ► NOUN ▪ excessive concern with and unhappiness over one s own troubles. DERIVATIVES self pitying adjective …   English terms dictionary

  • self-pity — noun … OF SELF PITY ▪ wave ▪ He felt a sudden wave of self pity. VERB + SELF PITY ▪ wallow in ▪ She refused to wallow in self pity. PHRASES …   Collocations dictionary

  • self-pity — N UNCOUNT Self pity is a feeling of unhappiness that you have about yourself and your problems, especially when this is unnecessary or greatly exaggerated. I was unable to shake off my self pity... Throughout, he showed no trace of self pity …   English dictionary

  • self-pity — n. to indulge in self pity * * * [ˌself pɪtɪ] to indulge in self pity …   Combinatory dictionary

  • self-pity — noun (U) the feeling of being sorry for yourself because you have been unlucky or you think people have treated you badly: Stop wallowing in your own self pity and do something about it! self pitying adjective …   Longman dictionary of contemporary English

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