Adam and Eve and Pinch Me

infobox Book |
name = Adam and Eve and Pinch Me
title_orig =
translator =


image_caption = First edition cover
author = Ruth Rendell
cover_artist =
country = United Kingdom
language = English
series =
genre = Crime novel
publisher = Hutchinson
release_date = 30 August 2001
media_type = Print (Hardcover & Paperback)
pages = 388 pp
isbn = ISBN 0-09-179434-X
preceded_by = Piranha to Scurfy
followed_by = The Babes in the Wood

Adam and Eve and Pinch Me is the title of both a 1994 novel by Julie Johnston and a 2001 novel by British writer Ruth Rendell. This article currently only deals with the latter. The title of the book comes from a children's trick: One will ask, "Adam and Eve and Pinch Me went down to the river to play. Adam and Eve were drowned. Who was saved?" When the respondent says "Pinch Me", the questioner proceeds to do so.

Plot summary

The book concerns the lives of three women manipulated by a handsome conman who goes by several false names. He insinuates himself into their lives, often taking large sums of money, and will suddenly disappear. Directly after the Paddington train crash he sees an easy way out of several of the relationships he is currently in, and sends letters to the women concerned purporting to be from British Rail, informing them that he was on the train and is a suspected victim.

Minty Knox, is something of a social misfit who suffers from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, washing herself and her clothing over and over again. She lives in a house her 'Auntie' left her opposite Kensal Green cemetery, works in a local laundrettes and is coming to terms with the loss of both her fiance—"Jock Lewis"—and her savings. She starts to see his ghost— at first in the house, then in the street and cinema. Minty usually goes to the cinema with her neighbours, Laf and Solvana. They become concerned when she says she has seen Jock's ghost, but because they are protective of the younger Minty they do nothing about their worries.

In Dorset Zillah Leach is living a boring and miserable existence bringing up her two small children. Her husband, Jerry Leach, left some time before and, she assumes, wishes for her to think of him as dead as she has received a letter from British Rail telling her he supposedly died in the Paddington crash. Her childhood friend, gay Conservative MP 'Jims' Melcombe-Smith, has proposed a marriage of convenience to save her from her boring life and him from being outed as homosexual.

Minty begins to hear the ghostly, disembodied voice of her 'Auntie', the woman who brought her up after her mother dumped the baby Minty on her many years before. She falls out with Solvana when she dry-cleans one of her neighbour's dresses that she has borrowed to go to her boss, Josephine's, wedding. Whilst attending the marriage of her employer Minty sees the ghost of Jock in the seat next to her and stabs his leg with her dinner knife. For a brief time the ghost goes away, but then returns to Minty's home. She is so scared that she starts to carry round a carving knife, strapped to her leg, at all times.

Elsewhere in London hugely obese Michelle Jarvey and her anorexic husband Matthew disapprove of the neighbour they think of as a daughter's new boyfriend, Jeff Leigh. Fiona, their neighbour, is a high-flyer, whilst he is a somewhat nasty lay-about. He makes several comments about Michelle's weight, which upset both the Jarvey's, and when Fiona tells them she and Jeff will move in together and get married they admit to her that they do not much like her partner.

Zillah, having never been divorced from Jerry, becomes a bigamist by marrying Jims and is somewhat upset when he brings his young lover, Leonardo, on their honeymoon. Natalie, a sharp young journalist who once also lived with the conman, goes to interview the glamorous Zillah for a newspaper magazine. She recognises her as the woman who is married to her ex-boyfriend and mentions her previous marriage and her two children - whom Zillah has been keeping quiet about at Jims' behest - in her article.

Leach, who reads Natalie's article becomes worried what has happened to his children, and smells money in the offing, and chases down Zillah to her new Westminster flat. He calls her a bigamist and makes plans to met with her again. Zillah writes Jerry a distraught letter asking him not to call her "that", but is exposes as a bigamist by the media anyway because of the lack of divorce papers. She and Jims attempt to cover this up by saying Leach had told her they were divorced and that she believed him. Jims sends Zillah and the children off to her parents home in a rage.

Jims, angry with Zillah and at his constituency home in Dorset, has left a speech at his lover's flat, and needing his notes returns to London alone to collect it. He ends up staying the night at Leonardo's flat. Zillah, still distressed over the media revelations, has returned from her parent's home to their London flat. She has the children cared for by a babysitter and sleeps for the entire afternoon.

Minty goes to the cinema alone that afternoon. A man enters the cinema and sits in the row in front of her own, it is Jock's ghost. Seeing Minty in the row behind him the conman, Leach, gets up to leave the film, at which time Minty stabs him, in an attempt to expel 'the ghost'. She is surprised by how like blood ghost vapours are and wipes the knife on the seat next to her before leaving the near-empty cinema. Disgusted by the knife Minty boils it and bags her clothes to throw away. She initially replaces the knife in her kitchen drawer, but finding she cannot live with the dirt she takes it up the road and throws it in a bin in a affluent suburb of London.

Shortly after the body of Leach is found and attributed to "the Cinema Slayer" by the media, bin men find the knife. It has been cleaned so well that it affords to DNA evidence for the Police. Investigators quickly track down Zillah, as Leach had her stolen credit card on his person. Because of the lack of alibis and the bigamy motive Zillah and Jims soon become suspects.

Michelle, who after cruel jibes from 'Jeff' has gone on a diet, and Matthew, who now has a television show about anorexia and who is rapidly putting on weight, recognise 'Jeff' from a photo in the paper. They inform the Police and Fiona is distraught. When questioned about 'Jeff's' enemies she tells the investigating officers that the Jarveys have always disliked him. Michelle and Matthew, who were alone together at the time of the murder, are soon suspects, too.

Minty is now hearing not only the voice of 'Auntie', but that of Jock's mother 'Mrs Lewis'. She shouts at the two of them, and places flowers on a grave in the near-by cemetery where she scattered her Aunt's ashes after her death. Minty hopes the flower will placate the ghosts. Laf and Solvana, who never saw Jock in person, try to build bridges with Minty once again when they become more concern about her odd behaviour. They become friends again and they take Minty out to see 'An Inspector Calls' on the West End. On the Tube home Minty talks to people who are not there and stares strangely. Solvana wants to do something about her, but Laf thinks she has just drunk too much wine and is reluctant to 'tell' on a friend.

Minty thinks she has seen Mrs Lewis on the Tube, and again on a bench near her home. After parting from her neighbours for the night, she gets a knife and attacks the 'ghost' on the bench, hoping to get rid of her. Again she throws away her clothes and boils the knife. Again, in reality, it is an actual, living person, an old woman who sleeps rough near flower-beds.

Jims explains to the Police about Leonardo and where he was and remarries Zillah. She then sells her story to Natalie. As a result Jims is outed and caught by the assembled media whilst with Leonardo at his Dorset home. He buys the house Zillah rented with her children before their 'marriage', resigns his seat and leaves the country.

Natalie decides to research a story on 'Jeff Leach' and his many women and interviews Fiona. She finds Minty, but has the door shut in her face when he tries to ask her about a Jeff or a Jerry rather than a 'Jock'. Fiona, racked by guilt, begins to send money - which was stolen by Leach - out to women he conned. Minty receives £1,000, half of what he took, and assuming it is from Jock's brother, decides to have a shower installed with the money. Laf's friend will come and make an estimate.

Minty, now plagued by many ghosts talking constantly, carries a knife with her at all times. She returns home from work to get her lunch unexpectedly one afternoon. She hears someone in the house and, seeing a black leather jacket, thinks it is Jock's ghost once again returned. She stabs at the man, only to be stopped by Solvana who has come round to tell her Laf's friend is in her bathroom seeing about the shower stall. The man does not die, but the 'slayer' is at last caught. Meanwhile, Zillah is involved romantically with the rich former owner of her house. Michelle and Matthew - one now much thinner, the other much healthier and fatter - discover that they are pregnant. All the lives touched by Jeffrey Leach and his many guises go on, some happily and others not so.