Family Guy Viewer Mail 1

Family Guy Viewer Mail 1

Infobox Television episode
Title =Family Guy Viewer Mail #1
Series =Family Guy

Caption =Peter as a T. Rex
Season =3
Episode =21
Airdate =February 14, 2002
Production =3ACX12
Writer =Gene Laufenberg, Seth MacFarlane, Michael Shipley, Jim Bernstein
Director =Pete Michels, Scott Wood, Michael Dante DiMartino
Guests =Bill Goldberg, Kelly Ripa, Regis Philbin, Michael Winslow
Episode list =List of Family Guy episodes
Season list = Infobox Family Guy Season 3
Prev =Road to Europe
Next =When You Wish Upon a Weinstein
__NOTOC__"Family Guy Viewer Mail #1" is an episode of "Family Guy", first aired on February 14, 2002. The episode consists of three segments, each suggested by a viewer. This was the last original episode to air before the series was temporarily cancelled by FOX.

Plot summaries

Brian and Stewie introduce the show, consisting of three short stories in response to requests they have received from viewers.

"No Bones About It"

Peter finds a genie in his beer who offers him three wishes. His first wish is to see what Kelly Ripa is like off-camera. She is apparently a horrible alien who eats living men's still-beating hearts (although they pay no attention to this; they may already know this). Ripa and co-host Regis Philbin voice themselves for this cutaway. His second wish is for his own theme music, which plays everywhere he goes and whatever he does. On a city bus, a brawny man (Bill Goldberg) grows irritated with Peter's bus riding theme music and threatens to break every bone in his body. Peter quickly wishes that he was boneless and collapses into a fleshy heap. When townspeople react with revulsion and horror towards him. After realizing that he is a burden to his family, he pulls out the drain in the bath and ends up in Hollywood and finds work as a stuntman's human airbag. Peter misses his family, though, and when a doctor offers him an experimental surgery to implant bones into his body, he takes the chance. The operation is successful, but he is horribly misshapen; he learns that his family (and a dead drifter to fill out the torso) donated bones to transplant into his body, and they all painfully amble away together. Peter mentions he was surprised that the operation was covered by his HMO.


After being exposed to toxic waste from a tanker truck, the Griffins develop superhuman powers. Stewie's head grows larger and he gains telekinetic abilities; Chris is able to start fires by thought; Peter can change into any person, animal or object; Lois becomes super-strong; Brian can move at incredible speed, traveling around the world in an instant; and Meg gains the "super-amazing" ability, to make her fingernails grow longer or shorter on command. Despite initial intentions to use their powers for good, they soon use their powers for personal gain. Meg wants a patch of Justin Timberlake's hair, so Peter goes to 'N Sync while impersonating Britney Spears (but still acting stereotypically male). Stewie steals a candy bar and the storekeeper tries to take the candy bar away him for not paying for it so Stewie picks him up with his mind and throws him at the wall repeatedly. Lois is getting annoyed by traffic jams and picks up the car to carry it home, crushing other cars beneath her feet. Brian steals martinis at a bar from a lady and is seen very drunk when he stops (Note: Brian's example of misuse was taken out for the syndicated reruns). Chris sets a boy on fire for picking on him and accidentally burns down the entire school. Meg fails to terrorize anyone, as her abilities are simply not that frightening (though a Channel 5 news report still photo shows her popping a baby's balloon and she can deliver a painful scratch). The Griffins threaten the public and make absurd demands, threatening to kill anyone who disobeys them. Mayor West douses himself in toxic waste, hoping for powers with which to fight the Griffins, but develops lymphoma instead. With Mayor West in the hospital the Griffins see the error of their ways and dedicate themselves to good and helping West recover. So Stewie fluffs his pillow, Chris heats his soup, and Brian runs to China to see if they have a cure (they don't). Peter makes the entire room burst into laughter by shaping into the breasts of Mrs. Garrett from "The Facts of Life" (which Mayor West finds wonderful).

"Li'l Griffins"

In a parody of "The Little Rascals", five-year-old Peter, Brian, Quagmire, Joe (who is pulled around in a wagon; although it should be noted they don't meet until A Hero Sits Next Door), Cleveland, and Mayor West rebel in their "We Hate Broads Club". Adam Carolla reprises his role of Death. When young Lois Pewterschmidt joins their school, however, Peter and Quagmire are love-stricken. Attempting to impress Lois, both boys promise to spend the night in a spooky abandoned house to prove their courage. Wacky hijinks ensue as each group tries to scare the other; when they see an apparently "real" ghost, they all flee in terror, where Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons report on the events. Lois says that she is no longer impressed by bravery, however, and introduces Mort Goldman as her new boyfriend because she likes his intelligence. Peter and Quagmire swear off girls forever in disgust; thirty-five years later they are still womanless but, without the distraction of women, they have become incredibly wealthy (and are having sex with buttered bagels).

This episode is not considered to be in canon with the rest of the series (since all three ended in situations that disagreed with canon, and the third one also disagreed with established continuity for how some of the characters first met each other as adults). Hence, it is more akin to the various cutaways during a normal episode.

Deleted Scenes

In a deleted scene included on the DVD release of the third season, Peter's first wish in "No Bones About It" is that Jackie Gleason was still alive. However, the undead Gleason turns out to be a malicious zombie who tries to eat Lois (ripping out some of her hair in the process), before Stewie kills him with a rocket launcher, to which Peter asks "where did you get a rocket launcher?". This was deleted because Peter got suspicious of Stewie having weapons.

Cultural references

"No Bones About It"

* The family are first seen to be watching an episode of "The Newlywed Game".
* Chris uses Peter's blubber to copy and stretch an image ("a la" Silly Putty) from the advice-giving comic strip character Mary Worth.
* The family rides the Mad Tea Party at Disneyland and Peter flies out. Afterwards, he was mistaken to be a towel by Michael Eisner, former executive of Disneyland.
* Lois compares the family's situation to the human interest stories on NBC's news program "Dateline".
* Peter mentions taking a stand-up comedy class at The Learning Annex, an adult education centre with branches across North America. []
* After turning into a fleshy blob Peter says "Oh, no. I got to fart. But I don't know which way to lean." This may be a reference to the Harlan Ellison short story "I have no mouth and I must scream" where Ted the main character is turned into a fleshly blob and thinks this line.


* Brian and Peter are watching an old counting lesson by Count von Count of "Sesame Street". Peter questions Brian if they ever did an episode where the Count sucked someone's blood.
* While kissing Timberlake, Peter morphs into film critic Gene Shalit.
* Peter demands the town build a statue depicting a scene from the 1980s-era sitcom "The Facts of Life". Later, he uses his morphing ability to appear as Mrs. Garrett's bosom.
* During the town meeting Mayor Adam West says that he has "battled with Superbeings before", this maybe said because Adam West of Batman fame voices Mayor Adam West.
* When Adam West pulls up at the toxic plant, his car resembles the 1966 Batmobile.

"Li'l Griffins"

* Many of the younger versions of the show's adult characters are obvious parodies of the characters from Hal Roach's "Our Gang" comedies of the 1930s, later syndicated to television under the title "The Little Rascals". Quagmire took the place of Alfalfa, Cleveland of Buckwheat, Brian Griffin of Pete, and Peter Griffin of Spanky. The scene in which the children stand on each other's shoulders to portray an adult is a famous bit from the series. Quagmire and Peter's gag of running through the glass door and leaving silhouette cut-outs of themselves in their wake, is also derived directly from the series.
* In the haunted house, the kids run into actor Michael Winslow from the "Police Academy" series of comedy films. Winslow's character was known for making convincing sound effects with his mouth, tricking criminals and fellow officers.
* A "Little Rascals"-esque version of Goldie Hawn pops out of the armor and shouts "Sock it to me!". Both Goldie Hawn and the catch phrase are from the late 1960s-early 1970s sketch comedy show "Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In".
* The characters from "Scooby-Doo" appear in the hall of doors gag.
* When the kids switch the channel, they turn to a de-aged version of the daytime talk show "The View".


The music heard in the mall in No Bones About It is used again for the "text in" music in Prick Up Your Ears.


* S. Callaghan, "Family Guy Viewer Mail #1". "Family Guy: The Official Episode Guide Seasons 1–3". New York: HarperCollins, 2005. 152–155.
* A. Delarte, "Nitpicking Family Guy: Season 3" in "Bob's Poetry Magazine", 2.August 2005: 57–60 []

External links

*FGwiki|Family Guy Viewer Mail

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