Aldridge Pryor

Aldridge Prior is a fictional character from the British adult comic "Viz". Prior is a hopeless liar, spinning tales about anything and everything. Dressed in a red flannel shirt, faded denim jeans and hobnail boots complete with stubble, thinning bushy hair and a gormless look, Prior looks every inch the village idiot.

Infobox Criminal
subject_name = Aldridge Pryor


image_size =
image_caption =
date_of_birth = 1908
place_of_birth = Tinseltown, USA
status = Fool
occupation = Not salesperson of the month
parents = Stan Laurel & Oliver Hardy

Tales (or lies?) include:
*He was a fireman and a professional football player
*He bought a pub, turned it around and sold it on for three times what he paid for it.
*He was saved from a beating by a mystery white knight from 'the internet'
*He was in the Zenit end for the Zenit/Rangers match in Manchester.
*He was earning £50,000p.a. at the age of 21
*He is because he is made of a rare alloy only he knows of.
*He is related to Saddam Hussein.
*Telling an American customs officer that he had £1,000,000 worth of grade-A crack heroin up his bottom (and that his friend found it in Liam Gallagher's dustbin).
*Being a NASCAR driver, winning the race even with broken legs.
*Being a Catholic priest, then reading last rites at a car accident.
*Having been wheelchair-bound (lie), visiting Lourdes and then being able to walk within several seconds upon arriving.
*Prior claimed to have The Nolan Sisters living in his fridge.
*Being a doctor, just by walking around in a white overcoat whilst still in his normal clothes.
*Composing the introduction riff to Deep Purple's Smoke on the Water.
*First soldier to climb Mount Everest as the expedition leader in a British Army climbing team.
*Also possesses an alter ego and alias called Colin.
*Was diagnosed with cancer of the testicle, operated on, recovered, told it was all a big mistake, and was back to work in a fortnight (minus a knacker obviously).
*Told anyone who would listen he'd been kicked in his remaining pod and burst his stitches just to get a couple of days off work.
*He has a degree in whatever you are talking about which he got when he was a pot washer in a restaurant
*Apparently only having one plum made him completely sterile.
*Thinks everyone he meets is stupid to varying degrees and adjusts the size of his whoppers to suit.
*When he finally returns to work he'll claim he was abducted by alien shapeshifting lizards and tortured by David Icke.
*Having an onion three feet wide.The name has now sometimes been adopted for everyday use, where any person known for telling outrageous lies can be called an 'Aldridge Prior'. See also 'Walter Mitty', 'Baron Munchausen' and 'Shrek'.

External links

* [http://football.guardian.co.uk/continentalfootball/story/0,,1708877,00.html Guardian article] , referencing an 'Aldridge Prior'-type untruth (sixth paragraph)