Napster Bad!

"Napster Bad!" is a series of popular, but controversial, Flash cartoons created by Bob Cesca from 2000-2003. The series spoofs the controversy surrounding the original version of Napster, most notably, Metallica's lawsuit against them.

Episodes

All of these cartoons are free for viewing at [http://www.campchaos.com Camp Chaos] .

; "Napster Bad!" : Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich & singer/guitarist James Hetfield discuss their intentions of their lawsuit against Napster, mainly because Napster downloads are free, and as a result, Metallica gets no profits. Backing up this fact, the room Lars and James are in is filled with bags of money. A special edition of "Napster Bad!" was released in 2003, featuring pop up facts, a deleted scene, hate mail, and a game where you tried to shoot flying naked Lars. The deleted scene features Lars complaining on how him and James had to live off Dave Mustaine's "stagnant piss" before they hit it big.

; "Metalli-cops" : Lars and James are depicted as cops trying to stop people using Napster to download their songs. Their target in this cartoon is Pip McDuddy, who was downloading "Welcome Home (Sanitarium)". Lars verbally assaults him and James slams his head into his computer's monitor. The cartoon is styled after an episode of the FOX series "COPS".

; "Metallica Millionaire" : James is a contestant on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire", during their Rock Star Week. Lars is his phone-a-friend lifeline. As with most parodies of game shows featuring celebrities, James does not get anything right. Other contestants that competed that week include Dr. Dre, Christina Aguilera, & Whitney Houston.

; "MP3 Music - Good Or Goblin?" : This cartoon features Recording Association for Popsong Economics (or R.A.P.E.) spokesman Nutty McShithead with Sheryl Crow, talking about the dangers of free mp3 downloading, specifically to the artists themselves. Later in the episode, Nutty sodomizes an admitted Napster user. This was filmed live outside of an ATM machine in a shopping mall. The whole cartoon is styled like a public information short film from the 1950s or 1960s. In 2003, Cesca updated this cartoon, inserting electronic voices saying Kazaa and/or LimeWire whenever Nutty or Sheryl say Napster.

; "Camp Chaos - Sue All The World" : This is a song featuring various musical artists, against free music downloading. It is a parody of the charity single "We Are the World". Artists performing the song include Michael Kamen, James Hetfield, Elton John, Dr. Dre, Sheryl Crow, Lars Ulrich, Eminem, Nutty McShithead, Madonna, and Jason Newsted. Kirk Hammett is depicted during the credits getting ready to do the song, then realizing it already finished. In 2003, Cesca updated this cartoon, featuring captions saying who each celebrity was, a new drawing of Eminem, and new information relating to the fight with free music companies still in existence, like Kazaa.

; "Bizarro Napster Bad" : In this cartoon, "Larz Chipwich" & "Jaymez Hatfielder" of the Metallica-styled group "Metallicock" present their own rant against Napster. They claim that thanks to the new law stating that Napster had to block files of certain bands, including Metallica, knockoff and tribute bands were now getting their songs downloaded for free more frequently than before, prompting "Metallicock" to sue Napster, Metallica, the illegal downloaders, and their mothers.

; "Fire Bad!" : This is a game where you have to put out the fires spontaneously appearing on James' body. If you get a bad score, James will burn up into ashes.

; "Napster Dead?" : Here, Lars, James, and Nutty have a party in a bathtub full of beer in honor of the announced shutdown of Napster. When they hear that a court said Napster could stay online, their excitement passes, and Lars tells James and Nutty not to mention this party to anyone. "Napster Dead" was claimed to be the series finale, though characters from these cartoons appeared in other Camp Chaos cartoons.

Major characters

; Lars Ulrich : Drummer for Metallica. These cartoons portray him as a short, crude, and greedy man who talks way too much. He is frequently seen running around everywhere for no reason. His last name in the cartoon is pronounced as ul-riCH, instead of ul-riCK, making light of the fact that he's flaunting his wealth. He is depicted wearing very short shorts, no shoes, and a tight tank top, possibly making him out to be a homosexual. He has an offshore bank account, and owns a day care center.

; James Hetfield : Singer & guitarist for Metallica. He is depicted as a caveman-like giant, who rarely says anything other than "___ bad!", or "___ good!" (while moving one of his arms in a straight-line movement), similar to Phil Hartman's Frankenstein character from "Saturday Night Live". Hetfield has a dislike of fire, which parodies his pyrotechnics accident in 1992. In an unrelated Camp Chaos cartoon, James is crushed by falling lights at a fashion-centric political debate, but is subsequently rescued by Madonna.

; Nutty McShithead : Spokesman for the R.A.P.E.. He appears to be a giant pile of feces, shaped into a human form, with a magenta tuxedo and blonde wig. He has no problem raping downloaders of free mp3s. He is a featured performer in the "Sue All The World" video, and attends James and Lars' bathtub party in "Napster Dead?". In other Camp Chaos cartoons, he owns a store that sells nipple clamps, and is shown as superhero Nippleman's arch enemy in the "Nippleman" series.

Nippleman

Nippleman is a parody of the superhero Batman, created by Camp Chaos. His secret identity is that of a bartender named of Gordo, who works at the "Love Towel" strip club. He wears a pink costume with a large nipple on the head; a similar costume is worn by his sidekick, Teat-Mutt. Nippleman's nemesis is Nutty McShithead. Other villains he has encountered include The Grabasstic Man, a parody of Mister Fantastic of the Fantastic Four.

His Nipple-Cave is a tiny crawl space underneath the "Love Towel" that is not big enough for a man to stand upright. In the first episode, he does not have a Nipple-mobile, instead opting for a Greyhound bus. In the third episode, the Nipple-mobile is revealed to be a pogo stick and side car. His telephone communication services are provided by Verizon.

His trademark phrase is "You Magnificent Bastard!"

Teat-Mutt

Teat-Mutt is a character created by the website "Camp Chaos", he is the sidekick to the superhero Nippleman. His secret identity is a Pug named Elvis, presumably the pet of the bartender Gordo.

Minor Characters

; Pip McDuddy (also known as Scissor Boy) : Child who got busted for downloading music in the "Metalli-cops" cartoon. He is shown downloading music with Scott Dabney in the "Sue All The World" video, and is shown pledging his support for Metallicock in the "Bizarro Napster Bad" cartoon. He is depicted in other Camp Chaos cartoons, watching a Goddamn Geezer toy, and running with scissors in a schoolyard during an episode of "Safari Kingdom".

; Dr. Dre : Legendary rapper and producer. He is shown as a contestant on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire," but opts for stealing the "Fastest Finger" music for an illegal sample in his next song instead. He also appears as a featured artist in the "Sue All The World" video, and again, records the song for illegal sampling purposes.

; Scott Dabney : Admitted Napster user. Was raped by Nutty McShithead in the "Mp3 Music: Good Or Goblin" cartoon, and was seen downloading music with Pip McDuddy in the "Sue All The World" video. In other Camp Chaos cartoons, he is seen operating a camera in "Plan 9 from George Lucas", and is trying to buy nipple clamps at Nutty's nipple clamps store in the 2nd Nippleman episode. He is usually unhappy and suspicious in his appearances.

; Sheryl Crow : Pop singer. She stars with Nutty McShithead in the "Mp3 Music: Good Or Goblin?" video, and is a featured performer in the "Sue All The World" video. She is shown as being uninformed about music copyright laws.

; Jason Newsted : Former Metallica bassist. Performs with James and Lars in the "Sue All The World" video, and appears in the bathtub in "Napster Dead?". Jason never says anything, and looks angry in both of his appearances. He owns a gold plated Ferrari, which came with Filipino sex slaves and a Mexican houseboy.

; Prunes : Because "prunes" rhymes with "tunes", it was used during James' part in "Sue All The World", and for that reason, prunes appear at the recording session. Kirk Hammett notices them running across the floor during the credits. They also appear on Nutty's hands during the bathtub party in "Napster Dead?", when he notices he got prune hands from the beer in the tub.

Other information

*Strangely, fellow band members Kirk Hammett, Jason Newsted, and Robert Trujillo are never featured in the series for more than just a cameo. This is probably because they aren't interesting enough to be made into more prominently featured characters, and/or they were not in center stage of Metallica's lawsuit with Napster. Newsted has appeared twice (albeit without speaking roles), Hammett has appeared once, and Trujillo has never appeared, due to not being a member of Metallica at the time of the cartoons' creation.

*The "Napster Bad!" series attracted huge controversy due to an unflattering portrayal of James and Lars. Five years after its debut, Camp Chaos still gets hate mail from angry Metallica fans, some of which can be viewed on the special edition of the original "Napster Bad!".

*Legendary metal band Mötley Crüe decided to speak out against Metallica in a cartoon on Camp Chaos. In it, they accuse Metallica of only suing Napster to promote their upcoming tour, and refer to them as "Metalligreed". They also accused Lars of planning to make a web cartoon to plug the tour, also stating that "we'd never sink that low". Ironically, later in the cartoon, they plug their new album, "New Tattoo," and their "Maximum Rock 2000" tour with Megadeth and Anthrax. Their then-drummer, Randy Castillo, did not record a speaking part for the cartoon due to cancer treatment. Nikki Sixx had another set of arms popping out of his hair. Vince Neil had an "I Hate Sixx" tattoo on his chest, and was reading his lines off of a visible script. Mick Mars tried to say things, but never got a chance for various reasons. When an offstage voice tells them that their "90 ft. inflatable stage pussy" has arrived, Mick pushes them out of the way, and says "Pussy Good!", in a Hetfield-like voice, and simulates cunnilingus. At the end, tour dates for Maximum Rock 2000 are displayed, and after that, a link for a download of the song "Hell On High Heels" is displayed. Camp Chaos also created the music video for the same song.

*The original "Napster Bad!" cartoon makes a cameo appearance in the acclaimed documentary, "Some Kind of Monster". During the commentary, the real James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich comment defensively about their attack on Napster during its appearance.

*The updated 2003 version of "Sue All The World" was labelled as "up to date", but still featured many mistakes due to the changes in the cartoon itself and the new time period.
**Jason Newsted was still in the cartoon, despite the fact that he had already left and been replaced by Robert Trujillo
**Napster is still mentioned during the cartoon (the original free version was dead by this point)
**The new animation of Eminem in the cartoon was not transferred over to a shadow seen during a group shot (the original Eminem's head is still clearly visible)

*The grunting "Napster Bad!" is apparently a nod to Phil Hartman's portrayal of Frankenstein's monster in a sketch on Saturday Night Live called "Succinctly Speaking." In the sketch, the characters of Tonto, Tarzan and Frankenstein's monster (referred to as "Frankenstein") appear on a talk show to discuss various topics, which starts with "fire." Tonto and Tarzan agree "Fire good," but Frankenstein's monster is emphatic: "Fire bad!" By the end of the sketch, he's repeatedly told everyone "Fire bad!", destroyed much of the set, and walked off camera.

*The cartoon version of Ulrich makes a cameo appearance as a Nazi pilot in Camp Chaos' updated version of Iron Maiden's "Aces High" music video. [ [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sj3O8z2w_GQ YouTube - Iron Maiden - Aces High (Camp Chaos) ] ]

References

External links

* [http://www.campchaos.com/blog-archives/old_cartoons/napster_bad/ Select Napster Bad! cartoons at Camp Chaos]
* [http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/35782 "Fire Bad!" game at Newgrounds]
* [http://www.metallica.com Metallica's official website]