List of Rounds in Never Mind the Buzzcocks

This is a list and description of the rounds played on "Never Mind the Buzzcocks".

Current Rounds

*Connections: Each team must work out the unlikely connection between two musicians (eg. the connection between Jay-Z and Frederic Chopin - they both have their own brands of Vodka). Formerly known as Connected.
*Sorry No Refunds: Each team must guess the real reason, out of three given, why a musical act cancelled a concert.
*Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?: Each team is shown an object and has to guess how it caused an injury to a musician.
*Woop-woop! That's the Sound of Da Police!: Each team has to decide how a certain object got an artist/band in trouble with the police. Examples included Courtney Love and some plumbing, Marilyn Manson and his genitals and Peter Buck of R.E.M. and a pot of yoghurt. Formerly known as: Inspector Rock and I Fought the Law.
*Do You Know Who I Am?: The teams are shown a clip of a band, and they have to guess which, of three possible answers, was an outrageous backstage demand of said artists. Examples are ZZ Top's livestock on their 1976 world tour, Janet Jackson insisting on new black toilet seats being installed wherever she tours and Roger Daltrey of The Who insisting on a pint of Häagen-Dazs ice-cream to be placed on stage at regular intervals.
*Mama Said 'Knock You Out': Introduced in 2006 by current host Simon Amstell, the teams are shown two artists and asked for the reason behind a feud between them, out of three options. One example is a feud between So Solid Crew and Westlife over a BRIT Award.
*What Have We Pixellated?: Introduced in 2006 again by Simon Amstell, the teams are shown a music video each, where an object in the video has been pixellated, and the teams have to work out what is behind the digital blur. One example is of Shakira's "La Tortura" where the scene in which she is chopping onions on her lap was pixellated.
*Intros: Each team is given two or three songs, that two of the team must orally convey the intro (or in one case the instrumental section) of, without using lyrics or words, so their team-mate can guess. If the teammate does not guess the correct song, the question is passed on to the other team. On occasion (usually Christmas episodes), this round has been performed with actual musical instruments, usually bizarre ones, or with guest acts conveying the song intros to the teams. This round is one of the few to have survived the show from inception.
*Identity Parade: In this round the teams are asked to spot a musical artist in a line-up of 5 people, usually these people could conceivably be the person the teams are asked to identify however there have been some notable exceptions:
**Mark Lamarr once joined the line up for 50's revival rockers The Jets, due to their similar quiffs. [cite episode
title = Episode 7
episodelink = List of Never Mind the Buzzcocks episodes#Series 5
series = Never Mind the Buzzcocks
serieslink = List of Never Mind the Buzzcocks episodes#Series 5
airdate = 2 April 1999
season = 5
number = 7]
*A semi-regular member of the line-up is a black man named Athelston Williams (gaining a credit at the end of an episode in 2000), who never seems to blink or show facial expression. He is present regardless of the appearance of the hidden musician. He was once included in a lineup for The Nolan Sisters. On another occasion, Jupitus walked up to him, fell to his knees and demanded "What do you want from us?". One week, when he wasn't available, an Athelston lookalike was brought in.
*Another semi-regular, during 2004, was a man dressed as a pirate holding a sword up, who, in his first appearance, was forced to drop his sword when Lamarr and all of Phill's team walked out and stared him down, until he dropped it. His repeat appearances in the show sometimes resulted in all of the line-up, except the artist themselves, appearing dressed up in pirate clothing, including, on one occasion, Athelston.
*Another recurring member was the psychotic looking, curly-haired, Ealing based comedian Phil Zimmerman, wearing overalls. No matter what happens, he keeps staring at the team that's playing. Bailey once compared him to a mutant from the horror film Wrong Turn. Amstell has walked up to him both times he has appeared so far. At the first appearance, Amstell tried to move the model's arms and head, but couldn't, because they were "a bit stiff". All that would move was the model's hair. The second time, Amstell put Donny Tourette's glasses on the man, grabbed his arms, and made him do the hand gestures Tourette had "showed off" earlier. At the end of the round, the man walked off stage with his arms still in the position. [cite episode
title = Episode 2
episodelink = List of Never Mind the Buzzcocks episodes#Series 20
series = Never Mind the Buzzcocks
serieslink = List of Never Mind the Buzzcocks episodes#Series 20
airdate = 7 February 2007
season = 20
number = 2]
*Biggie to Smalls: An alternative to the Identity Parade, introduced again by Simon Amstell. In this round the teams are asked to arrange four celebrities in an order given by the host, such as putting Flavor Flav, Pete Doherty, Courtney Love and Pete Burns in the order of time spent in prison.
*Next Lines The final round of the show, in which the team is asked to give the song line following the one read out by the host. A regular feature of this round is a guest musician on either team being given lyrics from their own songs, and invariably getting the next line wrong. However, not all guests get their own lyrics wrong. When Tom Fletcher was given 5 Colours in Her Hair lyrics, he answered it straight away word-perfect. When this trick was sprung upon Guy McKnight, the Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster singer not only recognized his own work but pointed out an error in the lyrics quoted to him by the host, receiving a point for his efforts. Also during the Christmas specials, and Mark Lamarr's last episode, the lines were sung out by a live band.

Discontinued Rounds

*Album Covers: In this round two members of a team are asked to act out a tableau of a famous album cover for the other guest to guess, such as Nirvana's Nevermind or ABC's The Lexicon of Love. [cite episode
title = Episode 7
episodelink = List of Never Mind the Buzzcocks episodes#Series 5
series = Never Mind the Buzzcocks
serieslink = List of Never Mind the Buzzcocks episodes#Series 5
airdate = 2 April 1999
season = 5
number = 7]
*Indecipherable Lyrics: In this round the teams must decipher the near-unintelligible lyrics of a song, often leading to bizzare interpretations.
*Band Names: In this round the teams must give the origins of a musical act's/Artist's name, for example Lemmy from Motorhead [cite episode
title = Episode 6
episodelink = List of Never Mind the Buzzcocks episodes#Series 7
series = Never Mind the Buzzcocks
serieslink = List of Never Mind the Buzzcocks episodes#Series 7
airdate = 20 October 2000
season = 7
number = 6] .
*Freeze Frame: Each team is shown a music video, and the action is paused half-way. It's up to the teams to guess what happens next. Examples include Bruce Springsteen's video for "Dancing in the Dark" when he plucked an unknown Courteney Cox from the audience [cite episode
title = Episode 1
episodelink = List of Never Mind the Buzzcocks episodes#Series 3
series = Never Mind the Buzzcocks
serieslink = List of Never Mind the Buzzcocks episodes#Series 3
airdate = 27 February 1998
season = 3
number = 1] , and the AC/DC video "Big Gun" where school uniform-wearing guitarist Angus Young kicks a cap into the air which is picked up by Arnold Schwarzenegger, whose clothing turns into that of Young's, as he takes on the guitar solo.
*Word Up: Each team is given a lesser-known word in a song and are asked what that word means. Examples include Colitas in The Eagles song "Hotel California", or Beltane in T.Rex's "Ride a White Swan".
*I Fought the Law: Each team is shown a pop act, and have to guess how they fell foul of the law, from three possible choices. When they have chosen their answer, they are told the actual answer, and for a bonus point, they have to guess who came out on top on that occasion. Examples include when The Clash were arrested, in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, in the 1970s, for stealing pillowcases from a hotel [cite episode
title = Episode 2
episodelink = List of Never Mind the Buzzcocks episodes#Series 3
series = Never Mind the Buzzcocks
serieslink = List of Never Mind the Buzzcocks episodes#Series 3
airdate = 6 March 1998
season = 3
number = 2] , and Shaun Ryder, of the Happy Mondays, was arrested after crashing his car into a vicar's Lada and driving off.
*Dress You Up: Played twice in 2001, the teams each get a model dressed in five items of popstars' bizarre items of clothing, and have to guess which item of clothing belongs to who. For example - one model wore a hat like Badly Drawn Boy, an oversized jacket like David Byrne of Talking Heads, a Volkswagen medallion like Beastie Boys, a mini-moustache like Ron Mael of Sparks and a Union Flag dress like Geri Haliwell.
*Dance Craze: Played once in 2001, where the teams are shown three dances to completely different music, and have to guess what moves they are. Moves included Prince Charming as portrayed by Adam and the Ants, The Twist by Chubby Checker and Achy Breaky Heart by Billy Ray Cyrus.
*Badly Drawn Boy: Each team is shown children's drawings of certain celebrities and must then guess who the celebrity is. This round was used once in the Christmas Bumper Show.

One-off Rounds

*Diva Or Beaver?: In which the teams are shown a close-up photo of some hair and are asked if it is the fur of a beaver or the hair of a diva. The third one, intended as a phonetic joke, was property guru Naomi Cleaver.
*Who Is Lily Saying This About?: Played when Lily Allen appeared on the show, where the teams are told what Lily said about other artists, and had to guess who she was talking about. [cite episode
title = Episode 6
episodelink = List of Never Mind the Buzzcocks episodes#Series 19
series = Never Mind the Buzzcocks
serieslink = List of Never Mind the Buzzcocks episodes#Series 19
airdate = 30 November 2006
season = 19
number = 6] However, one of the sentences was said by Jamelia, another guest on the same show.
*Is This Person One Of David Gest's Showbusiness Friends?: Played when David Gest appeared on the Christmas 2006 Bumper Edition of the show, where the teams are given a celebrity's name and have to guess whether or not they are friends of David Gest. [cite episode
title = Episode 7
episodelink = List of Never Mind the Buzzcocks episodes#Series 19
series = Never Mind the Buzzcocks
serieslink = List of Never Mind the Buzzcocks episodes#Series 19
airdate = 24 December 2006
season = 19
number = 7]
*Davro or Dennis?: Played when Bobby Davro appeared in the 21st series. The teams were given quotes from either Bobby Davro, or Les Dennis, and had to guess who said the quote. [cite episode
title = Episode 4
episodelink = List of Never Mind the Buzzcocks episodes#Series 21
series = Never Mind the Buzzcocks
serieslink = List of Never Mind the Buzzcocks episodes#Series 21
airdate = 6 December 2007
season = 21
number = 4]
*How Much Does Robyn Care About Christopher Biggins' Showbusiness Lifestyle?: Played when Robyn and Christopher Biggins appeared in the 21st series. The round consisted of Bill Bailey buzzing and saying "a bit". [cite episode
title = Episode 9
episodelink = List of Never Mind the Buzzcocks episodes#Series 21
series = Never Mind the Buzzcocks
serieslink = List of Never Mind the Buzzcocks episodes#Series 21
airdate = 17 January 2008
season = 21
number = 9]
*Dale's Did I, Do I, Am I And Would I?: Played when Dale Winton appeared in the 21st series. The teams had to answer questions about Dale Winton asked by Dale himself. [cite episode
title = Episode 12
episodelink = List of Never Mind the Buzzcocks episodes#Series 21
series = Never Mind the Buzzcocks
serieslink = List of Never Mind the Buzzcocks episodes#Series 21
airdate = 7 February 2008
season = 21
number = 12]

References