Deference and Demeanor

Introduction

Deference and demeanor are widespread sociological theories, developed by Erving Goffman in his essay "The Nature of Deference and Demeanor", that defines demeanor to be the way a person acts, and deference as the respect and/or reaction another person has to that behavior. In some cases the two objects displaying deference and/or demeanor are not people at all - for example, when two ships greet each other with four short whistle blasts when passing.

Along with deference and demeanor comes obligation and expectation: obligation is defined as the way society projects responsibility onto a certain person, whereas expectation is the expected reaction that another person will give. For example: "A nurse has an obligation to follow medical orders in regard to her patients: she has the expectation, on the other hand, that her patients will pliantly cooperate in allowing her to perform these actions upon them" (Goffman, 1967; 474).

Deference

First, Deference does not need to be acted out between two separate individuals. Deference can be between two objects, as when two ships greet each other with four repeated whistles, and it can be between an individual and an object, as when a sailor salutes the quarterdeck of a ship. Second, as much as an individual may deserve deference, he is generally not allowed to give it to himself and must seek it out from other members of society. This guarantees that a society will have interaction between its members.

There are two specific types of deference: symmetrical familiarity and asymmetrical familiarity. Symmetrical defined as having the right to exercise a familiarity. For example: a teacher calling a student by their first name. Asymmetrical is defined as a person not being in the position to return the familiarity. For example: the student not referring to the teacher by his or her first name.
Symmetrical and asymmetrical familiarity are further expanded in "Avoidance Rituals and Presentational Rituals". An avoidance ritual is when a person purposely detaches themselves from another person in order to not violate the other person's "bubble." Presentational ritual on the other hand is the exact opposite of an avoidance ritual. In avoidance rituals an interaction is purposely avoided so as not to cause discomfort. In a presentational ritual an interaction will be met head-on, and the person will clearly state their opinions and views of the other person.

Demeanor

There are three defining aspects to demeanor; "deportment", "dress", and "bearing". Together these qualities convey whether a person has admirable qualities. According to Goffman, these desirable qualities include sportsmanship, self control over his emotions, modesty, poise under pressure, discretion, and sincerity.

It should be noted that these qualities are interpreted by the way others make of how one acts in social intercourse. One can not verbally come out and profess his/her demeanor. Your demeanor is determined by those around you.

As in deference, there are symmetrical rules and asymmetrical rules in demeanor as well. A Symmetrical rule can be where people of higher class or status are permitted to act in a more unprofessional manner, whereas an asymmetrical rule is when people of lower status or class are required to act in a more professional or respectful way at all times. For example, in a corporate board meeting an executive is permitted to change topics, and be more relaxed with his body language. At the same time, however, an intern is expected to present him or herself in a dignified, but unnoticeable manner.

Deference and Demeanor: How the Two Coincide

A person with a poor demeanor will be held in lower esteem in the eyes of society. The same is true for people who behave in a good demeanor, however, society will hold them in a "higher" esteem. An example of this situation can be seen through the way a person acts in a social setting. i.e. A man pulling out a chair for a woman at a restaurant. On the other end of the spectrum, a person not bathing before they go to a fancy dinner party. These examples can be defined as presentational deference.
Demeanor does not only limit itself to the actions of an individual, but also the appearance of an individual. A person offers themselves to a social group through a good appearance or a well demeanored appearance. When an individual has a well demeanored appearance it makes interaction between people easier. After a person is socially accepted to a group, it is expected that they will conform to interactional norms. Through acting on those norms, people receive deference.

References

Goffman, Erving. 1967. "Interaction Ritual." New York, NY: Anchor House.
ISBN 0394706315
Soper, Philip. 2002. "The Ethics of Deference." United Kingdom: University Press, Cambridge.
ISBN 0521810477
Telles, Joel. 1980. "The Social Nature of Demeanor." Charlottesville, Virginia: University of Virginia, Cabell Hall.