Angus Phelps

Infobox soap character
colour = light brown.
colour text =
name = Angus Phelps
series = Shortland Street


caption = "Skank!"
first = 2007
last = present
cause = Tourettes, Neo-conservatism.
creator = God
portrayer = Elliot Christensen-Yule
episode = intermittent
gender = Male
age = 17+
born =
death = imminent.
specialty = skank
occupation = Student
title = The Rt. & Hon.
callsign = Taurus
family = irrelevant
spouse = (potentially) Sophie McKay, Scarlett Valentine, Dame Kiri Te Kanua
children =
relatives =
residence = Ferndale
religion = Confucianist
nationality = New Zealander
imdb_id =

Angus Phelps is a fictional character on the TVNZ soap opera "Shortland Street".

Angus attends Ferndale High School and has Tourette's syndrome. He is chummy with Sophie and Hunter McKay and is in love with Sophie. However on occasions he has called her a skank and a barbie. Sophie reinforced such allegations, in that she kissed him on her birthday in a fit in desperation, and they ended up going on a date. To the movies! Unable to stifle his uncouth outbursts, Angus unwillingly caused a ruckus.

Angus cherishes a longstanding ambition to become a lawyer and Prime Minister (presumably of New Zealand). Frequently, Angus is (comically) scripted to make small talk revolving around his hopes and dreams - this inevitably results in an extended uncomfortable silence as the cast members present imagine Angus stuttering his way through a colorful speech in Parliament, eventually arriving at the conclusion that in all his inarticulacy and obscenity he will probably fit in quite well.

In one memorable episode, Angus took his new squeeze Sophie to a group gettogether of dubiously cool friends. "Affirmative" - as a kind of catchphrase - featured heavily among a limited array of stammered, nasal quips, therein revealing the complete inability of Shortland St scriptwriters to authentically depict New Zealand youth intelligentsia, probably due to a basic lack of comprehension. Sophie left, humiliated, by her severely inferior intellect. The audience snickered.

On the 8th of February Justine asked Sophie when Angus was coming back. Sophie replied with "don't know don't care" meaning their relationship is probably over, or she has limited recall of his existence. (For explanation refer to cerebral shortfalls described above). Here she also revealed a hitherto unsuspected command of stylistic language devices. in her use of parallel structure and modern colloquialisms. It is probable that such a slip was inadvertent. Angus is due to return from America on March 13, 2008. Upon his return, the Ferndale Community may learn that it was in fact he, and not Joey Henderson, who had committed the various misgynistic stranglings inspired to boost ratings.

This however is unlikely, due to the extensive evidence and confessions that Joey is the one with the penchant for the rubber noose.

Contrary to popular opinion, Elliot Christensen-Yule does not have Tourette's syndrome. He has however considered adopting the affliction in his personal life, and continues to weigh up the pros and cons of doing so.

It has been some time now since Angus has been spotted on the set of Shortland St, leading to significant anxiety among his many fans as to whether he will return to brighten up the screen and liven up the dialogue of New Zealand's best-loved soap opera. Whether he returns or no, Angus will long occupy a treasured place in the hearts and minds of his adoring public.

It has recently been rumoured that Angus will appear on the new British reality series, How To Have Sex After Marriage, within the context of Shortland St in a dramatic "mise en abyme" that will see the hitherto low-brow soap venture into previously unexplored cinematic territory. It is unknown whether Angus will be presenting, featuring, or actively participating in the show; it is hoped that the show's producers will recognise the comedic potential inherent in him mentoring the show's participants in the Linguistics of the Boudoir.

In a continuation of the atypical political theme revolving around Angus's unlikely hope of entering the political sphere, recent subplots have hinted towards his complicity in the recent fiscal crisis in America, particularly with regard to the looming insolvency of Fanny May (!) and General Motors. Viewers are impatient to see the resolution of such threads, and eagerly tune in at 7.00 p.m (weekdays) and 10.00 a.m (sundays) in anticipation of this. Angus has additionally been spotted against the U.S. restriction of food-stamp usage to purchase diapers - perhaps unaware of the economic frivolity and environmental evil of using the accursed objects - and has involved himself in "Person of the Week" Joanne Goldblume's project to supply Pamper's nappies to the neighbourhood poor in a misguided act of uninformed altruism.

It has been alleged that Angus faked his own death in 2002, in the aim of endowing his wife with a hefty life insurance package. His former business partner was less than amused, and has since demanded his imprisonment. Admirers of his unconventional articulacy have protested that our beloved Tourette-aflicted Teen doubtlessly acted with a benevolent ulterior motive, the likes of which petty businessmen are incapable of understanding.

In July 2008 Angus Phelps took it upon himself to ameliorate the people of Beijing's command of English, donning a garish green sweater, blonde wig, and large sunglasses in a poignant impersonation of a repulsive Western tourist (yángguǐzi - "foreign devil"). His detractors have protested that such a caricature is culturally insensitive, and indeed uncharacteristic of his normally kindly onscreen persona. Those more enamoured of Phelps have protested to the contrary that this is but symptomatic of Angus's extensive dramatic talents, and have taken up a campaign of persecution to deter the unappreciative from voicing their ignorance.

The more devoted among Fanguses (i.e fans of Angus - note the literary usage of portmanteau) speculate that his prolonged absence on the set of Shortland Street is due to his potential partnership with Dr. Hone Ropata (portrayed by Tem) in the field of humanitarianism and womanisation. It is as yet undecided which of the two are more skilled in the latter.