Think Fast, Father Ted

Infobox Television episode
Title = Think Fast, Father Ted
Series = Father Ted


Caption =
Season = 2
Episode = 2
Airdate = 15 March 1996
Production =
Writer = Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews
Director = Declan Lowney
Guests = James Benson (Fr Liam Finnegan), Ben Keaton (Fr Austin Purcell), Gerry O'Brien (Fr Billy O'Dwyer)
Episode list = List of Father Ted episodes
Season list = Father Ted Series 2
Prev = Hell
Next = Tentacles of Doom

"Think Fast, Father Ted" is the 2nd episode of the second series of Channel 4 sitcom "Father Ted". The title is a play on the novel Think Fast, Mr. Moto, by John P. Marquand and the film of the same title starring Peter Lorre.

This episode was originally a Series 1 episode, but was scrapped because the episode title (ending in "...Father Ted") was becoming repetitive.Fact|date=May 2007 However, this explains why they have the car in the previous episode, "Hell".

ynopsis

The parochial house has a leak, which happens to be over Jack's head. Ted and Dougal move him, only to have another leak start over Jack's new position. Ted decides to hold a raffle to raise money for the roof. He calls Bishop Brennan and secures permission to raffle off a Rover 200. Ted and Dougal leave to retrieve the Rover. Upon their return, Dougal spots a small dent on the bonnet. Ted is dismayed and tries to "tap it away" with a hammer. However, after much time has passed, Ted has only succeeded in destroying the Rover's exterior.

Realizing that they are in dire straits if Bishop Brennan should learn what was done to the Rover, Ted decides to procure another. The priests remember that Father Finnegan, the so-called "dancing priest", has a Rover 200 identical to the ruined original. They travel to Finnegan's home to "borrow" the Rover. Ted gets permission and the keys. As soon as Ted leaves his sight, Father Finnegan drops dead of a heart attack.

Realising that they can't give the borrowed Rover away, Ted and Dougal rig the raffle in order for them to win and return the car. The plan involves Ted, as the emcee, calling the number 11. This number will be Dougal's. On the day of the event, Ted and Dougal work feverishly to sell tickets. They also secure Father Billy O'Dwyer, a.k.a "Spinmaster", to provide music. However, he only has one record and a major gambling problem, which results in his purchase of 2000 raffle tickets. Later, the announcement that the organizers have won the raffle manages to suck the life out of the event.

Back at the parochial house, Mrs. Doyle reveals that Father Finnegan has died. Ted is highly relieved, realizing he will be able to keep the Rover. However, things turn to the worst quickly. Ted discovers that a highly inebriated Father Jack has stolen the car in an effort to acquire more drink. He asks Father Jack what he has done with the car. Jack explains curtly that he ran into two trucks. When Ted and Dougal inspect the damage, they discover that the rear half has been crushed. While they are out, Father O'Dwyer steals the raffle money to pay off his debts, leaving Ted and Dougal with nothing. Ted, Jack, Dougal and Mrs Doyle spend the rest of the year in anoraks.

Trivia

*The record that the SpinMaster plays (repeatedly) is "Ghost Town" by The Specials.

External links

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