Any Old Iron (song)

"Any Old Iron" is old English Music Hall song written by Charles Collins, Fred Terry and E.A. Sheppard.

The song was made famous by Harry Champion who sang it as part of his act and recorded it.

Lyrics

Just a week or two ago my poor old Uncle Bill,

Went and kicked the bucket and he left me in his will.

The other day I popped around to see poor Auntie Jane,

She said "Your Uncle Bill has left to you a watch and chain."

I put it on right across my vest,

Thought I looked a dandy as it dangled on my chest.

Just to flash it off I started walking 'round about,

A lot of nippers followed me and all began to shout:

CHORUS

"Any old iron, any old iron, any, any, any, old iron?"

"You look neat - talk about a treat,"

"You look dapper from your napper to your feet."

"Dressed in style, brand new tile,"

"And your father's old green tie on,"

"But I wouldn't give you tuppence for your old watch chain,"

"Old iron, old iron?"

I went to the City once and thought I'd have a spree.

The Mayor of London, he was there, that's who I went to see.

He dashed up in a canter with a carriage and a pair,

I shouted "Holler boys" and threw my hat up in the air.

Just then the Mayor he began to smile,

Saw my face and then he shouted "Lumme what a dial!"

Started a-Lord Mayoring and I though that I should die

When pointing to my watch and chain he hollered to me "Hi!"

(CHORUS)

Just to have a little bit of fun the other day,

Made up in my watch and chain I went and drew my pay.

Then got out with a lot of other Colonels on the loose,

I got full right up to here in fourp'ny stagger juice.

One of them said "We want a pot of ale

Run him to the rag shop and bung him on the scale."

I heard the fellow say "What's in this bundle that you've got"

Then whisper to me kindly "Do you want to lose your lot?"

(CHORUS)

Shan't forget when I got married to Selina Brown.

The way the people laughed at me, it made me feel a clown.

I began to wonder, when their dials began to crack,

If by mistake I'd got my Sunday trousers front to back.

I wore my chain on my darby kell,

The sun was shining on it and it made me look a swell.

The organ started playing and the bells began to ring,

My chain began to rattle so the choir began to sing.

(CHORUS)

Trivia

*In 1957, Peter Sellers recorded a rendition of the old English Music Hall song, in a voice he created for "The Goon Show", Willium "Mate" Cobblers. It reached #17 in the UK music charts that year.

*It was performed on "The Muppet Show" by Kermit the Frog, joined by Fozzie Bear, two Anything Muppets, and the audience.

*It was performed by Roger Daltrey, accompanied by The Chieftains, in Belfast, Northern Ireland in 1992. A recording of the performance appears on the album, "An Irish Evening".