Jesus Saves (song)

Jesus Saves, also known by the titles "Jesus Can't Play Rugby" or "Jesus Can't Go Hashing" is a popular drinking song common among Hash House Harriers and rugby union players. As with any rugby song, it is tongue-in-cheek and is consciously offensive. It is sung at socials among teams of many nations at nearly every level of competition. [ [http://www.sffog.org/songs San Francisco Fog RFC Songs] ] [ [http://www.mines.edu/Stu_life/organ/rugby/rugby_songs.htm Colorado School of Mines RFC Songs] ] [ [http://pages.stern.nyu.edu/~rugby/news.php?novId=25 Stern RFC Songs] ] [ [http://www.phillygryphons.org/index.cfm?mode=entry&entry=48185DE4-E251-C260-11252C32C4420E5C Philly Gryphons RFC Songs] ] [ [http://web.mit.edu/wrugby/jesus.html MIT RFC Songs] ] [ [http://www.people.carleton.edu/~salleed/rugby.html Carelton RFC Songs] ]

Sung to the tune of Battle Hymn of the Republic (aka "John Brown's Body").

Traditional lyrics

Chorus:

(Often sung while the participants dip their fingers in beer and flick it onto each other, a la the Catholic practice of Asperges.)

::Free beer for all the ruggers (or hashers)!::Free beer for all the ruggers!::Free beer for all the ruggers! ::Jesus saves! Jesus saves! Jesus saves!

Verses:

Jesus can't play rugby 'cos:

::* the ball goes through his hands (x3)::* his dad will fix the game (x3)::* the Jew won't pay his dues (x3)::* the Yanks have bombed his gaff (x3)::* he wears illegal headgear (x3)::* he wears illegal spikes (x3)::* he's only got 12 men (x3)::* the uprights give him flashbacks (x3)::* he can't support a hooker (x3)::* his feet are nailed together (x3)::* he has open wounds (x3)::* he is fucking dead (x3) (can also be sung as "the motherfucker's dead")::* his mother won't put out (x3) ::* he has never gotten laid (x3)::* you can't bind on his robe (x3)::* shepherds are illegal (x3)::* he's hung up on the cross (x3)::* he's hung like this (spread arms wide) (x3)::* he is stuck behind a rock (x3)::* he is bleeding on the field (x3)::* the nails will pop the ball (x3)

Variations:

Judas can't play rugby 'cos:

::* he'll cheat for the other side (x3)

Mary can't play rugby 'cos:

::* she's never touched a ball (x3)

Moses can't play rugby 'cos:

::* he's got a burning bush (x3)::* he's only got 10 rules (x3)

Noah can't play rugby 'cos:

::* his pitch is always flooded (x3)

Jesus bring the party 'cos:

::* he turns water into wine (x3)

Jesus can't play touch judge 'cos

::* his arms point both ways (x3)

Jesus can't play rugby:

::* but I'm sure that Judas can. (x3)

Final Chorus:

(everyone should kneel down and do the Sign of the Cross)

::Jesus, we're only kidding!::Jesus, we're only kidding!::Jesus, we're only kidding!::Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves.

References