Vlakados

Vlakados is a character from Irish mythology, the name that was given to a child who would be king in the mystical realm of Belfree. He was rumoured to have been a great conqueror of the demons in ancient Ireland.

Vlakados was said to have skin as pale as milk, and a dangerously fiery temper even though he was small in stature.As a child he was often neglected due to the accomplishments of his elder brother 'Dave the Barbarian', a fearless fighter.His elder brother was said to have slain many vicious demons but Vlakados gained his legendary status shortly after his brother was pierced by an arrow.His brother, Dave, retired from the demon hunting game and started working as a blacksmith. At Dave (The Barbarians) first attempt at blacksmithing he forged the infamous sword "Thunderwood" . The metal used in its creation was gathered by Shamus the Shaman. He sent them to put a spell on any man, that would fall in love so that he may be made to abide by their every command. The cursed ones mined for the unknown metal which had the power to conduct lighting. When their task was finished they fed on the souls of the cursed ones. The Thunderwood sword was given the ability to conduct lighting, very similar to the Norsk God Thor and his hammer Mjolnir. Vlakados was to receive the weapon to test it, he destroyed a whole village with lighting. It was rumoured that he bathed the sword in the blood of women and children, the purpose of which was to:

#Drain their power and so the sword would gain new powers to give the ability to sprint for days without tiring. It could also be sent by Vlakados to assassinate anyone he wanted with his thoughts.
#To dye the sword red so it would warn any village against even the thought of revolting against him.

In an old wives' tale passed down through the generations, Vlakados of Belfree was said to have walked from realm to realm seeking a one true love. Then one day fortune struck, Vlakados, killer of many, found his one true love, Mrs Samedi. She had long flowing golden hair, red glowing cheeks and a smile to melt a mortal's heart. However, one sunset on the day that was Freyr day Vlakados and his love were sitting down to a lovely supper which Vlakados had hunted himself. Hours had passed and the two were smitten, this was loves young couple. At the end of the evening, shortly after dusk, Vlakados made his move. Leaning over the table he and Mrs Samedi both puckered up, then without warning Vlakados' beard (which went down to his belly button) caught the naked flame of the candle engulfing his nackered face in flames. Due to his burns, Vlakados died shortly after, leaving his mortal coil to join his fellow Gods. However Vlakados was to return once again, 3 inches smaller and with a wonky eye, there was vengeance to hand out, "a dish best served cold" he remarked.

Upon his travel to the higher planes of the spirit world Vlakados observed that his one true love Mrs. Samedi had learned the teachings of the great archmage Behamoth. This enabled her to control the powers of nature, fire, earth and water were now under her control. However Mrs. Samedi had not changed and she was still out for her own gain, upon learning the great mages teachings, she used these very teachings to slay him. Vlakdos was not the sharpest axe on the rack but he relised that he would need to enlist the powers of another deity to help him defeat the woman he had once loved. "Help!", he cried across the spirit planes, hoping, praying that someone would head his call. The planes fell silent, there was not a breeze nor a sound. Then out of the deep void came rumbling like no other he had heard before. It sounded like 10,000 horses charging at full speed towards him, Vlakados was overcome by curiosity, then the void erupted. Spewing flames and lava, it was hotter than hell. Lifting the patch from his wonky eye Vlakados gasped as he saw what he could only describe as a fiery goddess, more beautiful than the finest rose, but with a temper to match that of Vlakados'.

"I am the flaming goddess, Bootylicious, eater of souls, hater of Behamoth!". Vlakados was not scared but he was intimidated, for one reason and one reason only. The heat of the flames and lava brought back terrible thoughts of his nackered face igniting. "Thank you great goddess for heeding my call, do with me as you please, but first please help me defeat the one I once loved." The goddess accepted this fair trade, no one could imagine what she in store for Vlakados when they were finished... Vlakados then went to grab her hand to kiss the back of it, however the goddess flinched and Vlakados received a hefty headbutt to the nose. "OUCH!" he yelped "what was that for?". "Your only getting the same treatment the last heathen got when he touched me without permission."

So the goddess and Vlakados left the spirit realm to return to Earth once more.

After that day long long ago most people thought that Vlakados would never return, which in hindsight is true. Vlakados did return however he was a shadow of his former self, he was no longer the bearded dwarf that most people remember him by, no, instead Vlakados was a tall monstrosity of a creature, with hooves for feet and tentacles dangling from his chin. Indeed he was not the same dwarf that we had known anymore....Instead of wielding his trusty sword, Vlakados or Bigblu (the 3rd) as he chose to call himself, he held in his right hand a mighty staff known as his Death stick. Not much is known as to the origins of this trusty weapon, but it saw Bigblu through many battles.