- Bikini Planet
Bikini Planet is a
science fictioncomedy written by David S. Garnettand released exclusively in the UKas a paperback. It is written as a sub-sequel to an earlier story written by Garnett in 1994, entitled "Stargonauts", which features the some of the same settings and characters from the first story.
In 1968, Las Vegas cop Wayne Norton is a weakling who stumbles on a gangster plot by crimelord Mario to freeze himself and re-emerge as the Head of a large criminal empire in the future. After knocking Wayne unconscious, Mario instead freezes Wayne and kills his servants.
While Wayne is frozen, Mario is found out and sentenced to 300 years imprisonment. As time goes on, the world becomes heavily dependent on the
Internet, and all books, videos etc. are all recorded electronically. On Day Zero, the entire Internet crashes and History is wiped out. People eventually forget what they were taught, and learn from the past through old John Waynefilms. Las Vegas is over-run by Red Indians who leave many American cities to ruin.
Waking in the 24th Century, Wayne claims to be
John Wayne, and is appointed a GalactiCop Police Sergeantby his new employer, Colonel Travis. Unbeknownst to Norton, Travis sends him to the entertainment planet Hideaway, acting as his double.
Nearby, on the prison planet Arazon (colliquially known as "Clink"), Kiru (a neurotic) ends up on Arazon and falls into league with some space pirates who plan on escaping. The mute bodyguard Grawl takes a liking to her, and even kills his friend Aqa after he and Kiru have intercourse. Once on Hideaway, Kiru flees from Grawl, who plans on killing her and using her organs to keep himself going.
On Hideaway, Wayne has landed and checked in as
Robin Hood. His one cybernetic finger fitted in enrolment is removed (as it is a weapon), and he finds a tailors' shop run by Janesmith, a princess-in-exile from the female-dominated planet of Algol. Using the false name of Duke Wayne this time, Janesmith immediately has sexual intercoursewith Wayne, thinking him to be an aristocrat. Wayne appears to be unwilling to do so after discovering that Janesmith possesses Vagina dentata, but Janesmith uses a form of hypnosis to drug him.
Wayne awakes alone in his room, just as Kiru runs in fleeing Grawl. The two have sexual intercourse, and both are arrested, naked, by a band of amoeba-like aliens who have captured the space pirates. Both Wayne and Kiru escape their ship, but in different escape pods. Kiru ends up with Colonel Travis (under the false name of
Eliot Ness) and Wayne ends with Grawl.
Both escape pods end on a planet with an unpronouncable name. While Kiru and Travis land safely, Grawl sacrifices his life to help Wayne escape from the pod before it floods in the alien sea. Wayne is rescued, and learns from Travis that the planet is soon to be the new Las Vegas, entitled either as Cafe World or Vegas World, to compete with Hideaway. The inhabitants are dressed in two-piece bikinis for uniforms, even while construction is underway.
There are three alternate endings to the story. Two of which involve Kiru and Wayne marrying on Vegas / Cafe World, while the other involves a massacre of the characters by a resurrected Grawl.
Links to Stargonauts
"Stargonauts" (ISBN: 1-85723-186-4) also featured the characters of Grawl and Janesmith, and ended on Hideaway. In the original story, Grawl worked as a bodyguard to media tycoon William Ewart, who was in his fifth marriage to Janesmith's sister, Marysmith (who is mentioned on several occasions in "Bikini Planet"). Bikini Planet picks up from where the story left off, with Janesmith left abandoned on Hideaway whilst Grawl and Ewart became space pirates and presumably ended up on Arazon together.
Wikimedia Foundation. 2010.