Unconditional love

Unconditional love is a term that means to love someone regardless of one's actions or beliefs. It is a concept comparable to true love, a term which is more frequently used to describe love between lovers. By contrast, unconditional love is frequently used to describe love between family members, comrades in arms and between others in highly committed relationships. It has also been used in religious context to describe God's love for humankind.

Types of unconditional love

Unconditional love separates the individual from her or his behaviors. The individual is loved unconditionally as a "perfect" child of the Higher Power. However, the individual may exhibit behaviors that are unacceptable in a particular situation. To begin with a simple example: one acquires a puppy. The puppy is cute, playful, and the owner's heart swells with love for this new family member. Then the puppy urinates on the floor. The owner does not stop loving the puppy, but needs to modify the behavior through training and education.

Critical views

Some secular authors make a distinction between unconditional love and conditional love. In conditional love: love is 'earned' on the basis of conscious or unconscious conditions being met by the lover, whereas in unconditional love, love is 'given freely' to the loved one 'no matter what'. Loving first. Conditional love requires some kind of finite exchange, whereas unconditional love is seen as infinite and measureless. Unconditional love should not be mistaken with unconditional dedication: unconditional dedication refers to an act of the will irrespective of feelings (e.g. a person may consider they have a duty to stay with a person); unconditional love is an act of the feelings irrespective of will.

As a level of consciousness

Professor Mario Beauregard, from Montreal University's centre for research into neurophysiology and cognition, used MRI to study active areas of the brain of people, who were most likely to experience unconditional love. Subjects were asked to call to mind feelings of unconditional love. Researches saw 7 active areas in the brain. Three of those areas were similar to regions in the brain that became active when it came to romantic love. The other four were different, which means that the feeling of love for someone without the need of being rewarded is different from the feeling of romantic love.

In his study professor Beauregard found that some brain areas that turned on when a person felt unconditional love also engaged in discharging dopamine, chemical that plays a role in sensing pleasure. ^[1]

Studies and research by Harold W. Becker, author and founder of (nonprofit) The Love Foundation, Inc., led to a practical contemporary definition stating that "unconditional love is an unlimited way of being." ^[2] Experienced within the individual, this universal awareness of love operates on every level of life through the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual bodies and is expressed when one becomes conscious of its presence.

Religious perspective

Christianity

In Christianity, the term "unconditional love" would be more accurately expressed as Christ's forgiveness. It may also be used to indicate God's love for a person irrespective of that person's love for God. The term is not explicitly used in the Bible and advocates for God's conditional or unconditional love, using different passages or interpretations to support their point of view, are both encountered. It may be considered to be closely associated with another non-explicitly biblical, but commonly encountered saying: "God loves the sinner, but hates the sin".

While the phrase has never been used in its official teachings documents the then head of the Roman Catholic Church, Pope John Paul II was recorded as saying during a homily in San Francisco, in September 1987, that God "loves us all with an unconditional, everlasting love". He explored issues touching upon this theme in his work Dives in Misericordia (1980) in which the parable of the Prodigal Son becomes a framework for exploring the issue of God's mercy. The civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. was quoted as saying “I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality”.

Other religions

Neopaganism in general, and Wicca in particular, commonly use a traditional inspirational text, Charge of the Goddess, affirming that the Goddess's "law is love unto all beings".

Reference works

• Kramer, J. and Alstead D., The Guru Papers: Masks of Authoritarian Power, 1993, ISBN 1-883319-00-5
• Schnarch, David, Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships, 1998, ISBN 0-8050-5826-5
• Schnarch, David, Constructing the Sexual Crucible; An Integration of Sexual and Marital Therapy,
• Schnarch, David, Resurrecting Sex: Resolving Sexual Problems and Revolutionizing Your Relationship.
• Stendhal, On Love: The Classic Analysis of Romantic Love
• Tennov, Dorothy, Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love, 1999
• Becker, Harold W. Unconditional Love - An Unlimited Way of Being, 2007, ISBN 0979046009
• Becker, Harold W. Internal Power: 7 Doorways to Self-Discovery, 1993, 2008, ISBN 0979046017

Notes and references

1. ^ "Scientists Unveil the Mysteries of Unconditional Love". InfoNIAC.com. http://www.infoniac.com/science/scientists-unveil-the-mysteries-of-unconditional-love.html. Retrieved 2009-04-13. 
2. ^ "True Altruism and Unconditional Love". The Fountain Magazine, 2010 September-October. http://www.fountainmagazine.com/article.php?ARTICLEID=1170.