The Tony Kornheiser Show

The Tony Kornheiser Show

Infobox Radio Show
show_name=The Tony Kornheiser Show

podcast= [ 3WT Podcast]
format = Sports Talk
runtime = 2 hours
starring = Tony Kornheiser
country = USA
home_station = Talk Radio 3WT: 1500 AM, 107.7 FM, 820 AM, & 104.3 FM
XM Sports Nation XM144
first_aired = May 25, 1992
last_aired = June 27, 2008

"The Tony Kornheiser Show" is a sports radio talk show out of Washington, D.C. hosted by Tony Kornheiser, which appeared on WTEM from 1992 to 1997; on ESPN Radio between 1998 and 2004; back on WTEM from 2004 to 2006; and on WTWP and then WWWT in 2007 and 2008. "The Tony Kornheiser Show" is cancelled because of the removal of WWWT on August 11, 2008. [cite web | url= | title=Bonneville expands Federal News Radio | author=Mike Stern | publisher="Radio and Records" | date=2008-08-11]

The show also appeared on XM Satellite Radio between February 28, 2005 and April 28, 2006, between March 5, 2007 and June 28, 2007, and between January 21, 2008 and June 27, 2008.


WTEM (1992-1997)

When "The Tony Kornheiser Show" launched on May 25, 1992, the show was originally produced by Mitch Levy. The sports director on WTEM, Andy Pollin, was both sidekick and news reporter of the show. Gregory Thomas Garcia, of My Name is Earl fame, was a board op on the show, and later ascended to producer of the show. When Garcia left the show, Gary Braun became his producer.

At the beginning, Kornheiser basically had two rules and a mission statement:

* No athletes as guests because Kornheiser thought their interviews are boring and hard to get the points Kornheiser wants.
* When callers called in, Kornheiser requested them to go straight to the topic without pleasantries. If a caller asks "how are you doing?" a "Banned from the Tony Kornheiser Show" soundbite would be played and that call would end.
* Kornheiser's mission statement: help your friend, crush your enemy and have free food.

Kornheiser dislikes "how are you doing?" to start a call; he prefers that callers and e-mailers have funny and creative comments: John from D.C. always said "T.K. Stack Money" when he called in; Steve the Sycophant from Virginia, always said "Tony, my liege and idol" on the phone.

When Andy Pollin did the news update, Kornheiser often interrupted him with his comments on the news. During the first few years, Kornheiser would let a then WTEM traffic reporter Janet Elliott (then called Janet Delaney or Janet O'Connor, and also known as Janet "From Another Planet") sing show tunes in a segment and then praise her. [cite web | url= | title="The Tony Kornheiser Show" podcast | publisher="Washington Post Radio" | author=Tony Kornheiser | date=2007-03-01] During the show, the sales representatives of WTEM sent free food to the studio, which prompted Kornheiser to say, "This show is about free food." If the food was not delivered on time, Kornheiser would go ballistic on the air. Because Kornheiser needed to focus on writing his Style column in "the Washington Post" weekly, he usually did not host the show on Thursdays. Usually Andy Pollin, the Sports Director at WTEM, would guest-host Tony's Show on Thursdays. Between November 1995 and December 1996, Warner Wolf was named the guest host of "the Tony Kornheiser Show" on Thursdays until he moved to New York as a sports anchor on WCBS-TV. [Warner Wolf and Larry Weisman (2000), "Let's go to the videotape: all the plays and replays from my life in sports," Warner Books (ISBN 0-44652-559-6).] Other Thursday guest hosts were Kevin Kiley, Johnny Holliday, the voice of the Maryland Terrapins, Al Koken, etc.

Late in this tenure, Kornheiser started to read emails from his listeners. This segment was called "Tony's Mailbag". The jingle introducing the segment was sung by Gary Braun, a member of the original incarnation of the show. he always ended his radio show by saying "If you're out on your bike tonight, do wear white" as a tribute to the Rolling Stones.

The last show before he moved to ESPN Radio was broadcast on November 14, 1997.

ESPN Radio (1998-2004)

"The Tony Kornheiser Show" on ESPN Radio debuted on January 5, 1998. The show aired between 1 p.m. and 4 p.m. ET. The original producer was Denis Horgan, Jr. and the sports update was anchored by Dan 'The Duke' Davis. Because of Kornheiser's duties in "The Washington Post", "The Tony Kornheiser Show" had two studios: one in Washington, D.C. where Kornheiser and Pollin lived and the other in Bristol, Connecticut, where the producing staff and Davis stayed.

One of the famous features of the show was that when Davis reported the updates, Kornheiser would interrupt the Duke's updates and make comments. At first the Duke was not amused with Kornheiser's interruptions and it took Davis a while to get used to it. [cite web | url= | title=Fans all ears when 'The Duke' spreads the news | author=Reid Cherner | publisher="USA Today" | date=2003-12-11] Later on they found the chemistry and Tony described the Duke as the glue of the show.

During the first two years, Kornheiser did not host the show when he wrote a column for "ESPN The Magazine". Andy Pollin, Bob Ryan of "The Boston Globe", or others would guest-host the show. On November 16, 1998, WTEM moved "The Tony Kornheiser Show" to the 4-7 p.m. slot as a tape delay show. Kornheiser did not like the idea because he would lose the callers from the WTEM broadcasting area.

On September 13, 1999, ESPN radio moved "The Tony Kornheiser Show" to his favorite 10 a.m.-1 p.m. ET slot to make room for "The Dan Patrick Show". WTEM accommodated the move by reducing "The Jim Rome Show" to 2 hours. Jim Rome was furious at the move. He voiced his displeasure on the air, attacked Kornheiser and demanded WTEM give him his third hour back. Kornheiser responded to Rome's attack by his usual sarcastic humor. The producing staff of "The Tony Kornheiser Show" even played several Jim Rome parodies. The "Snackdown" was one of the most famous parodies in the history of "The Tony Kornheiser Show". Two phrases, "Clahhsic!" and "Epic!", both said in a tone mocking Jim Rome, became the staples of "The Tony Kornheiser Show". Also, Kornheiser's nickname "Mr. Kornmissioner" was derived from this segment. Kornheiser also mocks Rome's "tour stops" from time to time on his show, and states that Rome's "takes" are not his own opinions, but rather made-up opinions from staff members that he pays to write his takes.

"Tony's Mailbag" concluded the show on ESPN Radio with Kornheiser reading emails from his listeners. The jingle introducing the segment still used the version sung by Gary Braun. The music that plays in the background during this segment is "Tea for Two Cha Cha" by Roy Battle (pronounced Bah-tell by Tony) and the Altones. The band is dubbed "The official house band of the Tony Kornheiser Show". [cite web | url= | title=FAQ - Who plays the background music while Tony reads e-mails? | author=Bill Lehecka | publisher="This Website Stinks! - An Unofficial Tony Kornheiser Website" | accessdate=2006-10-25] Later on, Gadget White and opera singer Denyce Graves created alternate opening jingles for this segment. Although Roy Battle and the Altones were dubbed "The official house band of the Tony Kornheiser Show" there was in fact another local rock band that really made the show. “Wolf-Spider!” a local rock band from Washington DC was dubbed the official Rock Band For The Tony's Show and ESPN Radio. He would play tracks from their CDs on a daily basis. The band was discovered after he had a plumbing problem at his house in DC and a plumber that Tony later referred to as “Jim The Plumber” showed up to clear his drain and handed him a CD and within a week the music was a regular part of the show.

Although "The Tony Kornheiser Show" is a sports-talk show, Kornheiser spends a lot of segments discussing current events, music, entertainment and life surrounding himself, including his dog, Maggie. During Fridays Tony would discuss movies with either Stephen Hunter or Joe Barber of WTOP. His love of the music in 1960s insprired a radio segment called "Old Guy Radio". His other-stuff talk makes his talk show much more interesting when there is no big sports event. In essence, his non-sports talk becomes a talk show version of his "Washington Post" Style Section columns. A collection of memorable clips of witty, sarcastic, or funny sayings from famous movies, television shows, callers, interviewees, and cast members have been turned into soundbytes that are played regularly on the show, depending on the situation and circumstance. [cite web | url= | title=Claaah-sic clips | author=Bill Lehecka | publisher="This Website Stinks! - An Unofficial Tony Kornheiser Website" | accessdate=2006-10-25]

Kornheiser, a self-admitted agitator stemming from his time as a young adult in the late 1960s, would do many things to provoke wrath from his bosses, fellow ESPN employees, (especially the on-air TV "heads") and from ESPN Radio's usual core audience, which only wanted intense sports talk as opposed to stories about how to cook a chicken, his mischievous Brittany spaniel, Maggie, whether or not the Packers would win on Sunday (a statement used by emailers to mock hardcore sports fans which exists to this day), or him kvetching about the people he dislikes, his old age, his kids, and his lack of hair.

The on-air TV "heads" were featured prominently on the show in a comedic game called the ESPN Fantasy Head League. It is based on fantasy sports leagues, except the athletes consist only of ESPN/ABC sports personalities. The people who appeared regularly on the show (Andy, Phil Ceppaglia, Kevin Stanfield, Ray Necci and Kornheiser himself) participated in a mock fantasy draft of the on-air personalities, which featured people such as Dan Patrick, Mike Tirico, Stuart Scott, Dana Jacobson, and Neil Everett. Each person on the show would earn points for the types of shows each head appeared on. More points were given to higher profile spots, such as the 11 p.m. SportsCenter, or an ABC Sports program. Proof of his aggitative nature occurred during his second mock fantasy draft. Management heard about the draft and immediately pulled the activity while Tony's show was in commercial.

In late 2001, Kornheiser decided to leave the microphones on when his show went to a commercial break, as a treat to his internet radio listeners. The result was the infamous yet wildly popular "Internet Show", where online listeners could hear what the people on the show really thought about sports, entertainment, politics, and other stuff. [cite web | url= | title=Gonzo radio returns | author=Steve MacLaughlin | publisher="Saltire: Blogging by Steve MacLaughlin" | date=2002-02-11]

Two popular internet show segments involved Rich Eisen telling the Bea Arthur joke, and Kornheiser ripping an angry emailer who proclaimed that he hated Tony's show. Eisen heard the Bea Arthur joke at the Friar's Club comedy roast of Jerry Stiller in 1999, where the joke was told by Jeffrey Ross. [cite web | url= | title=Now that was freaking funny | author=A.J. Daulerio and Will Leitch | publisher="The Black Table" | date=2004-06-23] Kornheiser's tirade against the angry emailer,, was peppered with foul language and vitriolic sentiment, a hallmark of the Internet Show, and Kornheiser's rants in general. The red89hawk segment also featured an E-mail Jihad, a barrage of angry emails from listeners directed at the person criticizing Kornheiser. The Internet Show was a forum of real emotions from real people engaging in informal conversations, and would regularly contain explicit topics and foul language. As Kornheiser once said during the Rich Eisen internet show segment, "That's why we always say, this is the X-Rated portion of the show."

The Internet Show was cancelled on January 4, 2002 when it was alleged that racist remarks were made during one of the segments. It was reinstated in February 2002. The Internet Show was pulled off the air for good in the summer of 2002, when show producer Denis Horgan Jr., a friend of Kornheiser, was fired for inappropriate e-mail conduct. Tony criticized management on the air for Horgan's firing, and was subsequently suspended from ESPN Radio for one week. This suspension became known as Kornheiser's "Vacation" when the topic of his "disappearance" arose. The continuous arguments with ESPN Radio management led to Kornheiser's departure.

Ray Necci replaced Horgan as the show's producer in the summer of 2002. 14 months later, Chadd Scott replaced Necci as producer. Kornheiser's last show on ESPN Radio was aired on March 26, 2004.

WTEM (2004-2006) and Extreme XM (2005-2006)

On November 10, 2004, Kornheiser returned to WTEM with the cast of
* Andy Pollin (sidekick and news reporter)
* Gary Braun (sidekick)
* Keven Sheehan (news reporter)
* Marc Sterne (producer, who is nicknamed "Nigel" and uses a British accent. His authenticity was questioned on March 24, 2006, but had proof that he was from England, showing his English Badge on Channel 8. However, the authenticity of his daily appearances on Channel 8 is also in extreme doubt, so the mystery remains). The show was heard online on SportsTalk 980 from 9 a.m. to 11 a.m. ET, after which the show was repeated until 1 p.m. ET. XM Satellite Radio began broadcasting the show on February 28, 2005 from 11 a.m. through 1 p.m. on Extreme XM. Since Clear Channel programs Extreme, Kornheiser was not compensated for this additional venue.

In this tenure, "The Tony Kornheiser Show" included a sports score update segment that was called "Andy Polley's Happy Funtime Sports Extravaganza". The Extravaganza was usually the sports update at 20 minutes past the hour during the second hour of the show, and was introduced by carnival music and a random soundbite from the show's database. Also, Darius Rucker of Hootie and the Blowfish recorded another version of the opening jingle for "Tony's Mailbag".

During this time, the holdovers from the ESPN message board days, referred to as "bloggers" by Kornheiser, held a members-only golf tournament on August 1, 2005. Kornheiser spent time in the months before the tournament, which he dubbed "The First and Last Annual Nerds in Paradise Golf Closed Invitational" (derided by Gary Braun using the acronym "FAGLAP"), trying to make deals with golf courses and hotels in the Washington DC area for the best deal. Finally, the winning host emerged as Reston National Golf Club, in Reston, Virginia. They, led by hotel manager Mark Driscoll, gave the bloggers the "Mr. Tony Treatment," including an extravagant dinner after the golfing that evening. To the shock of people like Andy Polley and Kevin Stanfield, noted curmudgeon Kornheiser was visibly moved by the whole affair. Some of the better-known bloggers that attended were AJ in Nashville, Korry in Virginia and Brandon Borzelli, who Kornheiser noted wrote the funniest emails in the show's historyFact|date=February 2007.

"The Tony Kornheiser Show" on WTEM ended on April 28, 2006 so that Kornheiser could change his sleep schedule to accommodate his future role as the color analyst on ESPN's "Monday Night Football". Kornheiser had stated that he planned on returning to radio after the NFL Football Season. From time to time, Kornheiser would call in to his replacements, Andy Pollin and Steve Czaban, to discuss matters such as The Sopranos, American Idol, and 24.

WTWP/WWWT and XM Sports Nation (2007 and 2008)

After completing the 2006 season on ESPN's "Monday Night Football", Kornheiser considered offers from WTEM and WTWP to return to the Washington, DC area radio airwaves. [cite web | url= | title=Reliable source: for Kornheiser, a host of offers | publisher="The Washington Post" | author=Amy Argetsinger and Roxanne Roberts | date=2007-01-10]

On January 23, 2007, Kornheiser decided to go to WTWP to host "The Tony Kornheiser Show".cite web | url= | title=Kornheiser Comes to Washington Post Radio | publisher="WTOP Radio" | date=2007-01-23] Effective February 20, 2007, "The Tony Kornheiser Show" aired live on weekdays from 8:30 to 10:30 a.m., with a repeat that aired immediately afterward (on Fridays the last half-hour was preempted by "The Politics Program"). [cite web | url= | title=Post Radio brings Kornheiser into fold | publisher="The Washington Post" | author=Paul Farhi | date=2007-01-24] WTWP is owned by Bonneville International and programmed in conjunction with "The Washington Post".

The deciding factor for Kornheiser to join WTWP was his desire to work for a station affiliated with "The Washington Post", where he had been since 1979. [cite web | url= | title=Tony Kornheiser to return to radio on WTWP | publisher="Washington Examiner" | author=Jim Williams | date=2007-01-24]

For the new incarnation of the show, Kornheiser retained Marc "Nigel" Sterne as producer. Andy Pollin and Gary Braun remained at WTEM and Triple X ESPN Radio, respectively. The main cast of the show included:
* Brennan Haselton, the news reporter.
* Joe Barber, the entertainment editor of WTOP.
* David Aldridge of "The Philadelphia Inquirer" and TNT when Barber is away.
* Jeanne McManus, former food editor of "The Washington Post", a.k.a. "my dear friend Nancy" in Kornheiser's "Washington Post Style" columns.McManus appeared on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. In McManus' absence, Sally Jenkins, Liz Clarke, Tracee Hamilton [cite web | url= | title="The Tony Kornheiser Show" podcast | author=Tony Kornheiser | publisher="Washington Post Radio" | date=2007-04-12] of "The Washington Post", or Janet Elliott would fill in. Kevin Stanfield filled in when either Barber or Aldridge was away. Arch Campbell, movie critic of WJLA-TV, and John Feinstein also made cameo appearances as co-hosts. On May 9, 2007, for the first time in the show's history on WTWP, there were only female co-hosts when McManus and Clarke co-hosted the show with Kornheiser. Before that show, Clarke said Kornheiser was in the middle of "the estrogen sandwich." [cite web | url= | title="The Tony Kornheiser Show" podcast | author=Tony Kornheiser | publisher="Washington Post Radio" | date=2007-05-09] It happened again the next day when Hamilton and Jenkins were co-hosts, where Kornheiser called himself "the meat of the estrogen sandwich." [cite web | url= | title="The Tony Kornheiser Show" podcast | author=Tony Kornheiser | publisher="Washington Post Radio" | date=2007-05-10]

Several frequent guests on the show had been limited by their affiliation with ESPN; Kornheiser had stated on-air (most recently on March 13, 2007) that ESPN management enacted a policy that prevents ESPN employees and commentators--the majority of whose work appears on ESPN--from appearing as guests on stations that compete with ESPN Radio affiliates. [cite web | url= | title=CBS has pieces in place for NCAA jigsaw puzzle | publisher="USA Today" | author=Michael Hiestand | date=2007-03-14] ESPN has since relaxed this limitation as it applies to Kornheiser. Before speaking with Mel Kiper, Jr. on April 10, 2007, Kornheiser said, "we have dispensation to have a certain amount of ESPN people on." [cite web | url= | title="The Tony Kornheiser Show" podcast | author=Tony Kornheiser | publisher="Washington Post Radio" | date=2007-04-10] Because the show was broadcast on a long-form talk radio station, Kornheiser was not required to focus primarily on sports. As a result, this incarnation of the show focused more on pop culture, entertainment, news headlines, and the daily lives of Tony and his co-hosts. The last show in 2007 was on June 28, 2007 signalling Tony's return to the "Monday Night Football" booth for the 2007 season. [cite web | url= | title=Korny Leaves For "MNF" On 6/28 | author=Dave Hughes | publisher="" | date=2007-06-05] Kornheiser vowed to return to WTWP in 2008 and "do the radio seriously." [cite web | url= | title=Tony Kornheiser's Message to the Blogosphere | author=Bill Lehecka | publisher="This Website Stinks! - An Unofficial Tony Kornheiser Website" | accessdate=2007-01-27] As a tradition when quitting the show from ESPN Radio and WTEM, the last show before hiatus ended by playing "Famous Last Words" by Billy Joel. With the demise of "Washington Post Radio" on WTWP, [cite web | url= | title=With low ratings, Post Radio venture to end next month | author=Paul Farhi | publisher="The Washington Post" | date=2007-08-28] and the Post affiliation being the key reason Kornheiser joined the station, it was initially unclear whether or not the show would return. However, Kornheiser agreed to return to the station, now known as WWWT, beginning January 21, 2008. [cite web | url= | title=Tony Kornheiser returns to local radio at 8am today on 1500AM - 3WT and XM | publisher="D.C. Examiner" | author=Jim Williams | date=2008-01-21] The show aired live from 8 a.m. to 10 a.m. and is replayed from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m.

"The Tony Kornheiser Show" also aired on XM Satellite Radio Channel 144, and was available in the United States and Canada, from 9 a.m. to 11 a.m. from March 5, 2007cite web | url= | title=Tony Kornheiser to Air Nationwide on XM Satellite Radio | publisher="XM Radio" | date=2007-02-15] to June 28, 2007. XM carried the show again, in a live time slot (8-10 a.m.) between January 21, 2008 and June 27, 2008.

Starting with the January 23, 2008 edition of the show on 3WT, various listeners and celebrities would do the opening voiceover for the show. Tony aired his dislike of the current 3WT voiceover guy on the January 22, 2008 edition of the show. As a result, he invited his listeners to record an mp3 of the opening sequence ("Previously on the Tony Kornheiser Show..." and "The Tony Kornheiser Show is on now, on 3WT") and submit that recording to Nigel. The list of contributors has included:

-Bill Lehecka (Frequent E-Mailer)
-Neil in Rockville (Frequent E-Mailer)
-Dan Levy (Frequent E-Mailer and creator of "Phil's Mom" charity merchandise)
-Wesley Shears & son Cowen (Frequent E-Mailer)
-Carla Corotto (Frequent E-Mailer)
-Greg Tantum (3WT program director)
-Washington D.C. Mayor Adrian Fenty
-An anonymous sultry female voice
-Christopher Walken (Marc "Nigel" Sterne's impression of the actor)
-David Creek (Listener)
-Isaac McKeithen (Listener)

"The Tony Kornheiser Show" went off the air on June 27, 2008 as Kornheiser prepared for Monday Night Football. However, on August 11, 2008, because of the format change, WWWT was cancelled and Bonniville stated it no longer will air "The Tony Kornheiser Show". It is not known yet who will pick up this show or what format it will be. [cite web | url= | title=Federal News Radio Expands to Full Market Signal | publisher="" | date=2008-08-11]

Frequent guests

* Mitch Albom of "Detroit Free Press"
* David Aldridge of "The Philadelphia Inquirer" and TNT
* Joe Barber of WTOP (Movie Reviews)
* Dan Barreiro of KFAN
* Thomas Boswell of "The Washington Post"
* James Carville (Football Picks and Politics)
* Norman Chad
* Lisa de Moraes of "The Washington Post" (TV Reviews)
* David DuPree of "USA Today"
* Tarik El-Bashir of "The Washington Post"
* Howard Fineman of "Newsweek" (Politics)
* John "Junior" Feinstein (Was banned from ESPN programming so he did not appear on the national show)
* Stephen Hunter of "The Washington Post" (Movie Reviews)
* Sally Jenkins of "The Washington Post"
* Richard Justice of "The Houston Chronicle"
* Larry King of CNN
* Mel Kiper, Jr. of ESPN
* Tim Kurkjian of ESPN
* Dan Le Batard of "The Miami Herald"
* Abbe Lowell (Legal Issues)
* Mike Lupica of "New York Daily News"
* Al Michaels of NBC Sports
* Brent Musburger of ESPN and ABC Sports
* Joe Morgan of ESPN
* Rachel Nichols of ESPN
* Jim O'Connell of "The Associated Press"
* Bob Ryan of "The Boston Globe" (Dubbed "The Quintessential American Sportswriter" by Kornheiser)
* Dick Schaap of ESPN
* Dan Shaughnessy of "The Boston Globe"
* Sam Smith of "The Chicago Tribune"
* Pam Ward of ESPN
* Michael Wilbon of "The Washington Post"

Famous catch phrases, references, and soundbites

* Affirmation Baby! or (insert word ending with -tion) Baby!: Kornheiser's running gag based on Stuart Scott's catch phrase "Affirmation Baby!" The phrase was derived from a game of celebrity basketball, during which Scott and Michael Jordan were on the same team. Scott fed Jordan an assist, who promptly executed a dunk. After the basket was scored, Scott gazed and waited for Jordan to turn around and acknowledge him. When Jordan finally turned around and pointed his finger at Scott, Scott uttered the phrase "Affirmation Baby!".

* Andy Polley: Andy Pollin's nickname on the show. The name "Polley" is in reference to an irate caller who called the show and screamed "Andy Pollin, you are an idiot!" after he heard Pollin's comments of Rafael Palmeiro. However, the caller mispronounced Pollin's last name as Polley. Denis Horgan, Jr. recorded the "Andy Polley" soundbite and the staff often played it on the show when Andy Pollin speaks. The nickname has stuck ever since.cite web | url= | title=Tony Kornheiser Glossary | publisher="" | accessdate=2007-01-17]

* The Animal Revolution: The idea that animals -- who are threatened by the expansion of the human population, and the encroachment of cities and suburbs upon their habitats -- are revolting against humans. Examples include rabid otters chasing golfers on the course, captive lions on top of a Mexican meat processing plant killing a man attempting to feed them, cats growing wings as the precursor to an animal air force, alligators banging on doors in South Florida and the "rat in the mouth" story. Brennan frequently fills the news updates with animal-centric stories to fuel this particular source of comedy.

* Banned from the Tony Kornheiser Show: when a caller asked "how are you doing?" this soundbite would come up and the call was off. There were three versions of the "Banned from the Tony Kornheiser Show" soundbite. The first two versions were recorded by the WTEM station announcer and a caller during Kornheiser's first tenure on WTEM. Charley Steiner recorded the third version when "The Tony Kornheiser Show" was on ESPN radio.

* Blame Adam Archuleta: as a result of the Washington Redskins using former Redskins safety Adam Archuleta as a scapegoat for their 5-11 2006 season, Tony, and especially the listeners, began blaming Archuleta for "everything" that goes wrong, including the Great Chicago Fire, Sanjaya staying on "American Idol", stealing Tony's iPod, telling new Redskins coach Jim Zorn that the team's colors are "maroon and black," and being the father of "American Idol" contestant David Archuleta.

* Buried Like Cheese: Kornheiser's phrase for a situation in which someone or something is cut down at the knees, crushed, destroyed, eliminated, humiliated, etc. ("_____ was buried like cheese")

* Channel 8: A fake television channel that broadcast the second WTEM tenure, as well as the current incarnation of the show, much like how the Mike and Mike in the Morning radio show is simulcasted on ESPN 2. The name is a play on the actual news channel in the Washington, D.C. area, News Channel 8, while the concept is a play on the ESPN Radio show Mike & Mike in the Morning and the simulcast on ESPN2. In the Washington Post Radio incarnation, News Channel 8 would be the gag of choice.

* The Cheese Boy: Dan Steinberg's nickname by Kornheiser. Steinberg does blogs called "D.C. Sports Bog" on the website of "The Washington Post" and his blog takes over Kornheiser's columnette space on the paper. Kornheiser complained about it to Andy Pollin on Pollin's show on WTEM and called Steinberg "the Cheese Boy" because Kornheiser thought Steinberg only wrote about "cheese" every day during the 2006 Winter Olympics. [cite web | url= | title=Bog doomsday approaches: Kornheiser wants his space back | author=Dan Steinberg | publisher="" | date=2007-01-03] Later Steinberg called Kornheiser "The Bear" [cite web | url= | title=Steinz's Sports Bog bracket madness | author=Dan Steinberg | publisher="" | date=2007-03-08] because Kornheiser warned him on the radio not to poke the bear. [cite web | url= | title=More Bog t-shirts | author=Dan Steinberg | publisher="" | date=2007-02-28]

* Clahhsic!, Epic!, Tour Stops and Takes: the terms said in a tone mocking Jim Rome.

* DC CAP : DC College Access Program, a charity which Kornheiser and Wilbon often talk about that assists DC students in acquiring funds to go to college. This charity is the beneficiary of their annual golf tournament. Additionally, listener and e-mailer Dan Levy has created an extensive line of DC CAP charity merchandise related to the TK Show, which includes everything from “I Roll With Phil’s Mom” t-shirts and bumper stickers to “Wilbon’s America” coffee mugs.

* Death Star Radio: A term used by Kornheiser to describe the show and its host station, WTWP. If he mentions it leading to an ad break, it is often accompanied by the Imperial March from The Empire Strikes Back [cite web | url= | title=Notable Quotable - 5/10 | publisher=" News Archive" | author=Dave Hughes | date=2007-05-10] . The term originates from a segment of the show where Tony recounts a Washington Post article detailing the possibility of a catastrophic, thermo-nuclear explosion of a giant, unstable star close to Earth. Mainly, this functions currently when Mr. Tony feels he needs to rant about people he hates and Nigel cuts in with the "Imperial March."

* E-mail Machine: since Kornheiser did not know how an e-mail worked and always got e-mails from the fax machine sent by the ESPN Radio producing staff before the "Tony's Mailbag" segment, Kornheiser described the fax machine or the computer as the e-mail machine.

* ESPN SportsZone: Kornheiser's preference to call ESPN Zone as ESPN SportsZone when his radio show studio was at the ESPN Zone in Washington, D.C. Andy Pollin would quickly blurt out ESPN Zone as soon as Kornheiser pronounced ESPN SportsZone.

* FAGLAP: not-quite-accurate acronym for the message board-created golf tournament in which TK, Gary and Andy participated in on August 1, 2005. in Reston, VA, at Reston National Golf Club. The "official" name of the tournament, as given by Kornheiser, was "The First and Last Annual Nerds in Paradise Golf Closed Invitational."

* Fat, Bald and White or Fat, Bald and Orange: another self-depreciating description of Kornheiser. Originally he mentioned himself as "fat, bald and white." After "PTI" was launched, some listeners noticed that his face looked orange on TV and began to call him "fat, bald and orange."

* Gettin' It Done: A phrase used to describe a woman that is still considered sexy or attractive at an advanced age ("i.e. Helen Mirren is still gettin' it done!"). The phrase is also used for someone or something that is exceeding all expectations.

* The Golden Boy: Kornheiser's description of Dan Patrick.

* Google It or Hit the Google Key or Use the Google Key: Kornheiser's way of asking Phil Ceppaglia to use Google to search for a specific topic.

*A Haiku: A Haiku is originally a form of Japanese poetry. Traditionally a haiku consisted of a pattern of 5, 7, and 5 syllables. This form of poetry has become a staple of the daily e-mail reads during "Tony’s Mailbag". Though many listeners submit Haikus, the current poet laureate of the show is “Shad from DC.”

* Heads: Tony's descriptions of ESPN SportsCenter announcers.

* Hitler? Who said anything about Hitler?: A catch phrase from "The Producers", often used by Gilbert Gotfried, that Kornheiser often says during off-beat, comedic segments of the show.

* If you're out on your bike tonight, do wear white: Kornheiser's signature sign-off, which is from the Rolling Stones' song, "Something Happened To Me Yesterday."

* Junior: Tony's nickname for John Feinstein. The nickname originated when Tony likened Feinstein's bad temper to that of John McEnroe, Jr.. Two "Junior" soundbites exist on the show, one of which is Sean Connery asking where Junior is in Indiana Jones ("Junior?"), and the other is of Connery screaming "Junior!" from the same movie. Another Tony nickname for John was "Little Sheriff Feinstein."

* Kim Jong-il: Kim reportedly aced five holes and shot 38 under par in a June 2004 golf tournament. As a result, he is frequently referenced in the show during comedic and off-beat segments for his prolific golfing skills. His skills are often exaggerated for laughs.

* Leave Britney Alone: The soundbite from Chris Crocker's youtube video is frequently played when the subject of Britney Spears' career is discussed.

* The Littles: The nickname for the radio show listeners.

* Malter Time!: The rally call at the end of a speech Mr. Tony made when he was running to be host of the show.

* Mr. Kornmissioner: when Kornheiser hosted either a mock draft or Snackdown, one of his callers called him Mr. Kornmissioner.

* Mr. Tony: Kornheiser's nickname. The nickname is derived from the Mr. Tony Experience. This nickname is sometimes intentionally misspelled by emailers as Mr. Toby.

* Mr. Tony Experience: Much like how Wilbon's America describes the lifestyle of Michael Wilbon, the Mr. Tony Experience describes the lifestyle of Kornheiser, which includes activities such as going to sleep by 9 p.m. and waking at 5 a.m. to walk the dog, being afraid of flying or anything remotely dangerous, carrying a stun gun and wearing an orange cape, lifting one-pound weights in the morning, begging various sponsors and people for free food and gift bags, eating at The Palm, begging for product, begging for a Pontiac Solstice, being invited to major political/entertainment events and dinners but rarely attending, believing that chimpanzees equate to sheer comedy, being spotted by famous celebrities and political figures for being the host of PTI, drinking Johnny Walker Blue, joking about Linda Cohn's twelve toes and how she got them the hard way (A set of 7 and a set of 5), loving women who drink and smoke, being technologically inept, and kvetching about being fat, bald, orange or anything in general.

* No, Tony or Yes, Tony: soundbites played during certain occasions when Kornheiser is wrong or right about something. The voice of both soundbites is David Aldridge.

* Old Guy Radio: Kornheiser's radio show segment inspired by his love of the music in 1960s and 70s.

* Old People's Network (OPN): A fictitious network that broadcasts programming geared for elderly men and women. Viagra and Geritol commercials are frequently seen on the network. Some of the shows on OPN include:--Listen Up: A game show where Wink Martindale whispers a phrase, and the first contestant to hear the phrase and repeat it wins a prize.
--Lost: A reality show where elderly people are placed in random locations, and they must find their way back to the assisted-living home while only being able to mutter two phrases, "Do you know who I am?" and "Where's the cake?"
--When Did That Happen?: A show based around the concept of kvetching about and wondering when high-tech gadgets and advancements in technology (i.e. Bluetooth sets, cell phones, etc) came about.

*Passport Nissan's Altima: Advertisements were made for the new car in the summer of 2007, in which it gets,"34 miles per gallon and has more cool features than the Camry or Accord." The car is jokingly referenced to during news segments in which cars are involved, such as "OJ would have escaped if he was driving Passport Nissan's new Altima."

* Phil the Showkiller: Phil Ceppaglia's nickname. The name was born when Ceppaglia mistakenly passed along to Kornheiser the wrong hometown for a caller. When the caller corrected his hometown on-air, Kornheiser began lambasting Ceppaglia and called him a showkiller.

* Phil's Mom: Ceppaglia's real-life mother, who calls the show before the start of the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament to pick the winners of each game. She is famous for picking teams that have little to no chance of winning (Picking Davidson to beat Ohio State), not knowing where many of the schools are located, using flawed logic (or none at all) to pick winners (Picking Oklahoma to win because it was a great musical), and for mispronouncing the team names (Okay State (Oklahoma State), Murray Street (Murray State), Markwet (Marquette), La-Lafayette (Univ. of Louisiana at Lafayette), Val-para-eee-so (Valparaiso), Mon-mouth (Monmouth), Fair Dickinson (Fairleigh Dickinson), C-Conn State (Central Connecticut State), Bay-lore (Baylor) and Cretin (Creighton University)).

* Rolling With Phil's Mom: This phrase refers to Ceppaglia's mother, who blindly picked George Mason, a Cinderella team no one expected to even make the 2006 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament, to win the National Championship. Due to George Mason's stunning run through the tournament, her pick turned out to be far more accurate than anyone thought, which led to Tony's listeners jumping on the bandwagon and proclaiming that they "Roll with Phil's Mom".

* Rat in the mouth: A news story about a 90 year old man in a nursing home stuck with a rat in his mouth. Is made fun of often and is cited as an example of animals' rebelling against humans.

* Sales Weasels: Kornheiser's description of the sales staff at WTEM.

* Satchmo: Satchmo is Louis Armstrong's nickname. Kornheiser thought it was a cool nickname and he wanted to be nicknamed "Satchmo". The e-mailers began to call him Satchmo.

* The Scarlett Johansson Getaway Bag: Bag that must be packed in the event that "Scarlett Johansson" comes knocking at your door.

* Snackdown: a parody of a smack-talking competition on "The Jim Rome Show", called The Smack-Off.

* This show is about my dog or This show is about free food: Kornheiser's catch phrase to emphasize that his show is more about his life, not sports.

* This Show Stinks: Kornheiser's self-depreciation about his show. The show's past and present email addresses,,,, and now are based on this catch phrase. Note that was actually selected by his listeners. [cite web | url= | title=Remembering Tony | publisher="" | accessdate=2006-10-25]

* Throwing up on himself: Term used to describe choking or the inability to perform in a clutch situation.

* Twitching Little Freaks: A term Kornheiser uses in reference to participants in the Scripps National Spelling Bee, where they are asked to spell "idiotic" words like "rhodochrostic" (pronounced by Tony as "ruh-DAH-struh-dik").

* Vacation: The term used by Kornheiser when he refers to his suspension from ESPN Radio after being overly critical of ESPN Radio management on the air for firing his producer, Denis Horgan, Jr.

* WHA' HAPPEN?!: Kornheiser's remark when something catastrophic or shocking occurs, such as choke jobs in sporting events, meteoric falls from stardom, career-killing events and moves, etc. The phrase comes from A Mighty Wind, where Fred Willard's character, Mike LaFontaine, starred in a failed 1970s TV show called "Wha' Happened?".

* Wheat Probing: A running email joke based on Tracee Hamilton's stories of living in rural Kansas, most notably probing wheat at a grain elevator.

* Where's the cake?: A soundbite from when Abe Pollin wanted to celebrate the naming of a couple of players to the NBA All-Star Team.

* Wilbon's America: Kornheiser's sarcastic description of the lifestyle of his fellow colleague, Michael Wilbon, where business deals are closed and/or celebrated at strip clubs, men carry handbags, homes are equipped with a satellite dish, TVs are at least 32 inches, etc.

* Wilbonia: A place where the inhabitants (Wilbonians) worship Michael Wilbon and practice the lifestyle of Wilbon's America.

* WTEM: Kornheiser's preference to call SportsTalk980 as WTEM when his radio show studio was at WTEM in Washington, D.C. Andy Pollin, the sports director of WTEM, would quickly blurt out SportsTalk980 as soon as Kornheiser pronounced WTEM.

See also

* List of ESPN Radio personalities

References and notes

External links

* [ "The Tony Kornheiser Show" on 3WT Radio]
* "The Tony Kornheiser Show" Podcasts on [ 3WT Radio] and [ Washington Post Radio]
* [ This Website Stinks! An Unofficial Tony Kornheiser Website] Dedicated to Tony Kornheiser's Radio Show and his Monday Night Football gig. Includes [ Andy Polley's Happy Fun Time Message Board Extravaganza!]
* [ News Channel 8] A message board for fans of The Tony Kornheiser Show

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