Luther Rizzo

Staff Sergeant Luther Rizzo was the fictional head of the motor pool on the TV series "M*A*S*H". He was played by G.W. Bailey.

While originally written to be from New York City, when the producers heard Bailey in his first dailies his character was moved to Louisiana. [Memories of M*A*S*H (20th Anniversary) (CBS, 1991), interview with G.W. Bailey] He was known for his slow, deep, Louisiana drawl and his slightly disheveled look. Though the motor pool seemed to function well, it did so despite Rizzo's casual work style and frequent naps. His philosophy on success in the army was that it was possible to never do work, so long as your superiors don't see you enjoy yourself.

Rizzo was not above taking advantage of his fellow soldiers, as when he lent Maj. Winchester, atypically strapped for cash, $50 at 100% simple interest, accrued daily. After he also once tormented the other members of the 4077th with a non-functioning grenade-such as tricking B.J. to run out of a shower nude-both BJ and Winchester 'got even' with Rizzo. In episode 9.5, Winchester came very close to assaulting Rizzo when the Major spied the candy he had donated earlier to the orphans in Rizzo's hand.

In the Season 10 episode "Promotion Commotion", Rizzo was one of three 4077th enlisted that appeared before a promotion board consisting of Hawkeye, B.J., and Winchester. He was not promoted, but made it clear that he was American "with an American wife and American children." A plot hole occurred here in the fact that Rizzo apparently held an Army vehicle maintenance MOS, but had to appear before a promotion board consisting of all Army doctors.

In the series finale, Rizzo claimed that he would be going home to work on a new moneymaking venture: breeding frogs to sell to French restaurants. This is a minor error; Rizzo had re-enlisted in the Army service in a previous episode.

Trivia

*His favorite food was pickled pigs feet and hog jowls.
*He once caused Colonel Potter to fall asleep during a lecture on remedial driving.
*His wife was Zola, and his child, his "pride and joy," was Little Billy Bubba.
*Besides Rizzo, the only other enlisted soldiers/NCO's who were principal characters at any time in the series were Staff Sergeant Zelmo Zale, the supply sergeant, Corporal/Sergeant Maxwell Klinger (medic later made company clerk), Corporal Radar O'Reilly, the company clerk, and Private Igor Straminsky, most seen as a server in the mess tent.
*Significant quote: "Where else [but the Army] can you be a bum and get paid for it?"
*G.W. Bailey played a drunken soldier who confronts Winchester in the Season 8 episode "Captains Outrageous". There is some dispute over whether this is actually Rizzo or a different character; Bailey is listed only as "Drunken G.I." in the episode credits. He also appeared in the Season 8 episode "Morale Victory", again unnamed.

Quotes

"You play your cards right, Klinger, and some day, al-l-l-l this'll be yours... (meaning his slow-paced job in the motor pool)"

(When teaching a driving class) "From now on, I will refer to this jeep as a veehicle."

(After Col. Potter tells him he has salmonella) "You know when you been out all night drinking cheap booze and eating chili dogs, I wish I felt "that" good."

References