Belkar Bitterleaf

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caption=Belkar Bitterleaf, drawn by Rich Burlew.
comic_color=background:#8080ff
character_name=Belkar Bitterleaf
real_name=
publisher=Giant In The Playground
debut="The Order of the Stick" #1
creators=Rich Burlew
alliance_color=background:#ffc0c0
status=Active
alliances=Order of the Stick
previous_alliances=
aliases=Belkster, Death's Li'l Helper
relatives=
powers= Immorality, devious intellect, violent nature, Two-Weapon Fighting, Barbarian Rage, Halfling throwing proficiency, stealth, jumping ability enhanced through magical item, crafting disturbing mental images|

Belkar Bitterleaf is a major character in the webcomic "The Order of the Stick", written and drawn by Rich Burlew. A halfling ranger at the start of the Order's adventures, he has since taken at least one level of barbarian.

Character History

Early life

Very little has been definitely revealed about Belkar's early life. He once spun a [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0125.html sob-story] about how he was ostracized in the halfling community for being exceptionally small even by halfling standards and that he has since strived to be a great adventurer in order to assert himself and eventually return to the village and exact a murderous and bloody revenge. While he subsequently claimed to have done this purely to gain extra experience points for role-playing, much of the story rings true. Belkar is indeed quite sensitive about his height and when Vaarsuvius hits him with a "crushing despair" spell he [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0128.html laments] that he is going to die alone and unloved.

It has been suggested that at least some members of his family share his general disdain for the lives of others and have a similar bloodthirst - it has been suggested that he has an [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0165.html Aunt Judy] who is as vicious as he is. He also seems to believe that spending time with one's family is a form of cruel and unusual punishment.

Joining the Order

Details of Belkar's adventuring career are sketchy. He is clearly something of an atypical ranger, in that he has never taken any points in the Survival skill and does not possess enough wisdom for spells (his Wisdom score is probably between 7 and 9; see below).

What is known is that four days prior to the formation of the Order of the Stick, Belkar was locked up in the local prison, facing a charge of murdering fifteen people in a barroom brawl to quote "they shouldn't have used fists in a knifefight" while in fact it was the opposite (he used knives in a fistfight). He managed to escape when the "Iron Mage" wizards' arena, located immediately next door to the jail, was accidentally destroyed when Vaarsuvius mis-scribed a "Distant Inferno" spell. The resulting blast damaged the prison enough for Belkar to make his escape, although not before he'd taken revenge on one of the guards, whom he claimed was "Size-ist".

Belkar was next seen pushing to the front of a line of adventurers and mocking monks for their wimpy attack style (for not being armed), waiting to be interviewed by Roy Greenhilt to join his party. Roy had just offered the last place in the group to a monk, when Belkar arrived and, faced with the pressing need to leave town quickly with a heavily armed group, persuaded Roy to take him instead, initially asking who Roy wanted him to kill in order to earn his place, then revealing that he was a ranger with considerable tracking skills. As Roy needed somebody with those abilities, he agreed to take Belkar on.

The Order of the Stick

Despite his kill-first who-cares-about-asking-questions attitude and lack of party loyalty causing the occasional problem, Belkar has proven to be generally effective as a party member during his time with the Order. Roy has learned from experience that Belkar is unlikely to follow orders to protect vulnerable individuals during combat, and he has often been known to regard his own teammates as viable targets, but, with carefully applied threats, the rest of the group have generally been able to keep the halfling under control and they consider him to be one of their own, standing by him when he faces threats from others. Having levels only in warrior-based classes (ranger and barbarian), Belkar has a Base Attack Bonus equal to his level, making him the most effective melee combatant in the group alongside Roy, whose combat skill is the same.

Captured and imprisoned in Azure City, Belkar was able to break out, murdered a guard and went on the rampage, daring paladin Miko Miyazaki to track him down and face him. She did so, in a fight that ranged throughout the castle, ultimately getting the better of the halfling (Though not before Miko was rendered unconscious at one point, and despite ample opportunity, Belkar refused to Coup de Grace her, apparently out of boredom). However, as she prepared to administer the final blow, she was struck from behind by a spell from Vaarsuvius who, despite his/her contempt for the halfling, still preferred him to Miyazaki. Belkar, however, was quite ungrateful, as he had been doing his best to provoke Miko into a genuinely evil act to deprive her of paladinhood; only the reminder that the party had no easy access to Raise Dead spells changed his mind. However, during the New Year celebration, the drunken halfling kissed Vaarsuvius. Since then, the wizard has been going out of his/her way to aggravate Belkar, in order to prevent any possible repeat of the incident. The exact nature of Belkar's relationship to Vaarsuvius is unknown. Vaarsuvius theorized in one instance that Belkar, being somewhat lacking in mental facilities, catagorizes people into one of two emotional categories, Lust or Hate. As V was no longer "hated" by Belkar he/she must therefore be an object of lust. The acts of annoyance were an attempt to bring things back to their natural place.

In return for Roy's co-operation in defeating Xykon, Lord Shojo has secretly agreed to allow Belkar to continue traveling with the Order of the Stick, postponing Belkar's trial for his murder of a Sapphire Guard until one week after Xykon is defeated. However, in return for his freedom Belkar has had an enchanted rune, visible only through a Detect Magic spell (or similar), placed upon his forehead. This "Mark of Justice" represents a powerful curse, which will cause Belkar to come down with an incapacitating sickness, resulting in violent vomiting. It can be triggered by the following conditions:
* if Belkar attempts to deal lethal damage to any living creature within the bounds of any city, village or town. This condition is not revoked even if Belkar is threatened with attack or death within city bounds, as by Yokyok of the Linear Guild; however, Belkar convinced others to kill the attacker for him, and was not penalized for it. (He is still able to kill outside the city limits, deal lethal damage to undead, and inflict "non"-lethal damage.)
* if Belkar is separated from Roy by more than a mile;
* if the curse is triggered by the word squiddleydoodlefluffer, which was entrusted to Roy by Lord Shojo; it is possible, but unconfirmed, that Shojo's nephew and heir Hinjo knows it as well. It is unknown whether "Roy" must say the word or whether it can be activated by anyone.

Belkar had, until recently, avoided violating any of the above terms. However, very recently, he killed the Oracle of Sunken Valley while unknowingly within the bounds of a town of kobolds that the Oracle had secretly built. This caused him to vomit violently and excessively, although the Oracle, having forseen his own death, had set up a Raise Dead spell ahead of time. Belkar forgot the incident upon leaving Sunken Valley due to the Memory Charm on the exit; a fortunate occurrence for him, as Haley had been about to expel him from the Order of the Stick but forgot her reason for doing so for the same reason.

Belkar's freedom was given "on the sly"; Belkar must remain in disguise whilst the Order are in Azure City, and Roy's father has created a permanent illusion of Belkar in the Sapphire Guard's cells (this initially worked, though problems arose when "Belkar" did not eat for weeks). His share of all the treasure and loot gathered will go towards having the guard he killed raised from the dead.

He possesses a "Ring of Jumping +20", discovered during the Order's quest through the Dungeon of Dorukan. Belkar chose the ring when dividing up the loot after the quest, because he felt that it would not only allow him to rain death from above onto his enemies but also to reach things on high shelves. He had proved quite adept at concealing the ring somewhere on his body, allowing him to retain it when imprisoned in Azure City; he claims that he puts it in a place where no one will bother—or dare—searching or looking.

According to the Oracle of Sunken Valley, Belkar will eventually cause the death of at least one of the following: Miko Miyazaki, Miko's "stupid horse" (Windstriker), Vaarsuvius, Roy or the Oracle himself, although, due to the specific wording of his question (or rather, the lack thereof), Belkar wasn't able to find out which one. Upon visiting the Oracle once again, [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0567.html the Oracle states] that Belkar caused Roy's death by giving him his +20 Ring of Jumping, Miko's death since the Order's defending of him caused Miko to believe that the Order is evil and thus led to her eventual downfall and technically Windstriker's death since it's spirit is now trapped in the afterlife with no way of being summoned to the physical plane. Belkar then soon after kills the Oracle himself by stabbing him. The Oracle also strongly suggested that Belkar [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0329.html won't live very much longer] , but no one in the party can remember this.

On the Order's return from Cliffport, having successfully rescued Roy's sister Julia from the Linear Guild, Belkar was the first member of the Order to realize that Nale had switched places with Elan the bard, as, once he'd removed Elan's clothing and bathed, his different smell was enough to tip Belkar off. Ignoring the Mark of Justice, Belkar lunged at Nale with the intent of brutally murdering him. Unfortunately for the ranger's comrades, Nale successfully managed to magically Charm Belkar, and ordered him to murder his companions (while singing the complete score to "Meet Me in St. Louis"). Belkar was, however, subsequently restrained by Vaarsuvius, then tied up by Haley and kept restrained well after the charm had worn off. After he was finally released, he was present when Lord Shojo was murdered by Miko Miyazaki, an act which caused the latter to lose her paladinhood. Belkar later realized the loss of her Paladin powers would prevent him from ever killing her horse Windstriker, something that caused him considerable anguish. Said anguish had apparently worn off some time later in the city dungeon, when he awakened Miko with a rock to the head and led the other prisoners in a round of applause, commending her on being a 'paladin turned murderer'. She promptly swore she would kill him (again), but this only seemed to amuse him. Hinjo later summoned all prisoners (Belkar included) over 5th level (except those guilty of a capital crime) and offered them a deal: fight to defend Azure City and have their sentence reduced by five years, or remain in prison. Roy managed to convince Belkar to take this deal as the minimum sentence for manslaughter is four years. Hinjo having overheard, then changed Belkar's sentence to six years, but then made a separate deal with him. If Belkar helped to defend the city, Hinjo would have his wizards remove the Mark of Justice, believing (wrongfully) that the Mark has taught Belkar his lesson. As Belkar has since become separated from Hinjo, he has not yet been able to demand his half of the bargain.

Battle in Azure City

During the Azure City siege Belkar [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0429.html lent] his Ring of Jumping +20 to Roy for him to pursue Xykon, mainly because he made a bet with another prisoner that Roy would be foolish enough to take the risk.

Later on in the battle, the same prisoner, working for an ambitious noble, [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0435.html offered] Belkar 10,000 GP to keep watch while he attempted to sneak attack Hinjo with a poisoned arrow. Although he initially agreed, Belkar was caught up in a "moral" dilemma by two shoulder demons (his shoulder angel having been rendered mad by Belkar's murderous tendencies) in that he could either take the money and allow the prisoner to slay Hinjo and risk the Mark of Justice never being removed or saving Hinjo, thus securing a chance to remove the Mark. Choosing the latter, Belkar then lunged at the prisoner and both of them fell off the castle walls (and out of city limits) with Belkar decapitating the prisoner in midair and landing in the middle of a large group of hobgoblins.

Being outside of the city, Belkar then began to slay the hobgoblins gleefully, [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0439.html culminating] in him standing, battle-scarred, atop a massive mound of corpses bellowing boasts of being a "sexy, shoeless God of War!" while Haley and Durkon note that he is unlikely to get any XP from the enemies. He later encountered the Eye of Fear and Flame that was meant as one of the decoys for Xykon. Learning that it can fire Fireballs and Fear beams from its eyes, Belkar removed its skull and used it as a weapon against the hobgoblins two rounds later, with the cowardly decoy complying. He then [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0455.html returned] to Azure City when all the hobgoblins headed for the breach in the wall, using the skull to save the Order from archers and rejoining them in a guard tower.

Quest to Resurrect Roy

Belkar then accompanied Haley to retrieve Roy's body, claiming that he is not doing it out of any liking for Roy, but because his Mark of Justice means that he cannot go further than a mile from Roy's body. During the supposedly stealthy mission, Belkar managed to anger the skull, which alerted nearby hobgoblins to their position. The pair initially retreated, with Haley carrying Belkar, until she finally stood her ground and [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0470.html eliminated] all of their twenty-two pursuers in what Belkar considered a highly impressive display. Eventually he and Haley found Roy's body (and O-Chul) at the Monster in the Darkness' tea party, who was loath to part with them (as they were 'just about to play Monopoly'). Through a little diplomatic wrangling, Haley convinced the Monster to let them 'take Flopsy and Mr. Stiffly home' if Belkar cooks the Monster some stew; introducing the readers to Belkar's seldom (if ever) displayed Profession (gourmet chef) skill. Lacking traditional ingredients such as chicken or beef, Belkar improvised and went to kill a vulture that had been pecking at Roy. Upon finishing the stew, the Monster willingly gives up O-Chul and Roy but when Belkar mentions Haley being the leader of the Order of the Stick (and with Haley confirming this to the Monster) he realizes that they are supposed to be his enemies and tells them that he has to devour them. Haley and Belkar flee, and Belkar abandons the paralyzed O-Chul to save his own life. When the two see the Junk leaving without them, Belkar talks to himself expecting Vaarsuvius to be using magic to hide the ship. Upon the realization that V is not behind it, Belkar asks "Vaarsuvius?", one of the few times he has called V by name (another being when V cast Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion). Haley and Belkar are later seen hiding out from the Hobgoblin army patrolling the city with Belkar angrily realizing that they are abandoned.

Belkar is seen four months later assisting the freedom fighters of Azure City as they were attacked by Wights and gaining a level (only to have it drained by a wight moments later). When later confronting Tsukiko, Belkar is offered a position as Xykon's Head Executioner which Belkar apparently was quite willing to take, but ultimately decided to throw Mr. Scruffy (Shojo's cat) at Tsukiko and save Haley. Upon realizing that Xykon is likely capable of removing his Mark of Justice however he then begins to reconsider his options.

Belkar later leaves Azure City along with Haley and Celia to find Durkon and the others, though they later turn to the Oracle to help locate them. Meeting the Oracle once again, the Oracle states that Belkar has caused the deaths of Roy, Miko and technically Windstriker, which enrages Belkar who wanted to kill them. In his fit of frustration he kills the Oracle, therefore completing the prophecy that he would "cause the death of either Roy, Miko, Miko's horse, or [the Oracle] ". However, because of the new city completely comprised of kobolds that the Oracle had founded, cheekily named, "Lickmyorangeballshalfling" (with a population of "just enough") to activate the Mark of Justice. The Oracle, however, knew Belkar would kill him, and had arranged priests to resurrect him after Belkar and company had left.

So, Belkar began to suffer the pains of his curse, being at first a low-level headache, but later, he started to vomit, he thought that it would end when "that [had] to be all what [was] in his stomach", but he keeps vomiting, throwing up on Haley and Celia. The spirit of Roy was grateful about being incorporeal. Haley's outrage at the Oracle's murder convinced her to abandon Belkar to his fate; however, when they left the Sunken Valley, they promptly forgot everything due to the memory charm on Sunken Valley.

After they had left, Roy's spirit, which the Oracle could hear the whole time, got a prophecy "on the house" that Belkar would take his last breath ever some time this year. The Oracle did, however, clear up that "this year" referred to an in-story year, making it impossible to determine at which point in the run of the webcomic these events might occur. After this, Belkar began to suffer dementia and soon snuck into Greysky City with Mr. Scruffy under the covers of the cart holding Roy's corpse, which is being pulled by the unaware Celia.

Personality, Abilities and Traits

Belkar can be readily described as being extremely vicious, bad-tempered and distractible. He has no patience, poor memory, is utterly immoral, and would quite happily kill fellow party members for experience or their items. He would rather [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0072.html slit throats] than take prisoners. He generally hates others as much as they hate him. His Chaotic Evil alignment has been confirmed multiple times, including [http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=559967&postcount=4 forum posts by the author] , and [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0489.html within the comic itself] . Belkar seems to be a counterstereotype to the traditional Tolkien-inspired RPG halfling, who is a stealthy, jolly, social, calm, occasionally mischievous and fairly cute person who dislikes violence and prefers a tranquil life emphasizing the small pleasures of life (the fact that he is none of those things has driven his shoulder-angel insane). His only similarity apart from his stealth (he has high ranks in Hide and Move Silently) would seem to be his enjoyment of food; he has on a few occasions displayed the advanced culinary sense traditionally associated with halflings and claims to have four skill ranks in Profession (gourmet chef)- this skill was first displayed in a strip featured in an issue of Dragon magazine, where he used it to intimidate a heavily-templated snail and to scare off two monsters evidently based on a bottle of wine and a lobster (the latter was possibly a Chuul). He also has an unusually keen sense of smell; he was capable of identifying Roy's true identity when he was under the effects of a Girdle of Femininity/Masculinity (though this didn't stop him from trying to flirt with "her", purely for the joy of tormenting Roy) and recognizing Nale by scent alone. He also admits to taking the ' [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0249.html Craft Disturbing Mental Image] ' feat.

Vaarsuvius has implied that Belkar has a problem with the concept that other people deserve to live, which essentially sums up Belkar's morality. The elf also claims Belkar has a Wisdom score "normally reserved for lemmings" (due to this he is usually unable to use healing scrolls) and an Intelligence score that "would compare unfavorably with that of a table" (though (s)he later considers the last comment an insult to tables). All of these statements match Belkar most of the time.

In contrast, Belkar has incredible skill when he is torturing or fighting someone; he's come up with innovative battle tactics (like soaking the paladin Miko in sake before he threw a match at her), used class limitations to his own advantage (as he hid from Miko, knowing that Spot and Listen aren't paladin class skills), and improvised methods to get around dangerous situations (such as throwing up a lead sheet to prevent Miko from realizing his Chaotic Evil alignment; her Detect Evil couldn't pass the sheet.) His mental cruelty displays a surprising level of sophistication as well, such as attempting to make Miko kill him so she'd lose her paladin abilities. Considering that Belkar is Chaotic Evil , he may well believe the only good use of his brain is to torture or kill someone, and in an [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0058.html incident] where Vaarsuvius cast an Owl's Wisdom spell on him, Belkar temporarily became a much more peaceful and focused being. This scene indicated that Belkar's wisdom must be at least a nine, since Owl's Wisdom raises it by four and a thirteen would be necessary to cast "Cure Serious Wounds", and a later [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0475.html comic] confirmed that he has an ability penalty in Wisdom (the primary ability score for the Profession Skill), which would have to be 9 or below, marking his Wisdom score clearly as nine.

Belkar is at minimum 12th level. He has demonstrated that he has evasion, a 9th level ranger feature, and has taken at least one level in barbarian. He later said he had taken [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0249.html Craft Disturbing Mental Image] on his last level, which means he would have to be on a level which is a multiple of three.

Since the kiss incident, Vaarsuvius has developed the hypothesis that Belkar is only able to process two emotions with regard to other people: hatred and lust. While this does appear to hold true in many cases (particularly the hate part), there are certain individuals who appear not to fit into this theory, most notably Elan. While Belkar was perfectly willing to 'defeat' Elan in order to gain experience, he finds the bard amusing, they get on reasonably well, as a rule, and the two have, on occasion, [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0038.html joined forces] against Roy for their own amusement. When Elan was captured by bandits, the halfling required no persuasion to join the rescue effort, although it was on the basis that if anybody was going to gain experience for killing Elan, Belkar wanted it to be him (and Elan makes him laugh). He was noticeably moved by Elan's lyrical eulogy for Roy (as was the entire battlefield), saying "That was beautiful." However, he quickly reverted to his sadistic tendencies by stabbing a hobgoblin in the eye shortly after it had said it had something in its eye while crying over the song. He also seems to admit a certain amount of admiration towards Shojo due to his authority over Roy, general attitude and the fact that Shojo often has paladins do menial tasks; when Shojo was murdered by Miko in Belkar's presence, the halfling was visibly quite angered. He has also shown a fondness for Shojo's cat Mr. Scruffy, whom he seems to have taken on as a pet after Shojo's death.

Belkar apparently knows the complete score to "Meet Me in St. Louis", and Vaarsuvius believes he lusts after Haley Starshine, Hermione Granger, Mrs. Butterworth and Vaarsuvius him/herself (Vaarsuvius reasons that after he/she saved Belkar from Miko, he classified him/her under the lust part of his brain). Haley does, on occasion, bring out unexpected sides of the halfling. At one time she made him feel guilty of being insensitive and prejudiced to her, the only time he has ever displayed anything resembling guilt and shame. Belkar also admits to finding it creepy that Haley polishes the party's gold daily, one of the few times that he has been shown to be ill at ease. Belkar has also shown a large amount of respect towards Haley for her battle prowess and skill with her bow when she was able to kill twenty-two hobgoblins by herself.

The Order of the Stick Adventure Game

Belkar Bitterleaf is one of the characters players may choose when playing the Order of the Stick Adventure Game. The abilities of the character are reflective of his personality and skills as depicted in the comic, with cards titled such things as Twin Daggers of Doom, Probably Evil, and Joy of Killing.