The Marine Biologist

Infobox Television episode
Title = The Marine Biologist
Series = Seinfeld


Caption = George showing what he found in the whale's blowhole.
Season = 5
Episode = 78
Airdate = February 10, 1994
Production =
Writer = Ron Hauge & Charlie Rubin
Director = Tom Cherones
Guests = Carol Kane
Episode list = List of "Seinfeld" episodes
Season list = Infobox Seinfeld season 5 episode list
Prev =
Next =

"The Marine Biologist" is the seventy-eighth episode of the American sitcom "Seinfeld". This was the 14th episode for the 5th season. It was originally broadcast on NBC on February 10, 1994. Jerry Seinfeld considers the episode to be one of his favorites.Fact|date=October 2008

Plot

While having a conversation with Elaine about his favorite yellow t-shirt, "Golden Boy" (which, due to its age, is "dying"), Jerry tells her the novel "War and Peace" was originally called "War, What is it Good For?" (a reference to Edwin Starr's hit song "War").
Kramer gives Elaine an electronic organizer. Also he has acquired a stash of "Titleist" golf balls and decides to practice his driving skills by hitting them into the ocean rather than a driving range. Jerry meets a female friend from college, and claims that George is a marine biologist.George, who now is expecting a call from her, is upset because he prefers to lie about being an architect.

Elaine shares what Jerry told her with a Russian author, Yuri Testikov, who is being courted by Pendant Publishing, her company. Upon hearing Elaine's electronic organizer beep repeatedly, he angrily tosses it out of the window of the limousine they were sharing.

Kramer returns home in humiliation, having missed every ball except one, and becomes obsessed with getting sand out of his clothing.At the beach, George keeps lying about his job when he is called upon to use his nonexistent marine biology skills to save a beached whale.Later, Jerry receives a phone call from an unknown woman (Carol Kane) who sees his phone number in the organizer after it hit her in the head while she was walking down the street. The two meet at Monk's Cafe and the woman won't return the organizer, which is Elaine's, to Jerry until she is compensated for her hospital bill.

Elaine wants Testikov to pay for the woman, so she and Jerry go to confront him in his hotel room. Elaine carries a tape recorder in her bag, Testikov hears a noise and thinks they are spying on him; he reacts by throwing the tape recorder out the window, hitting the same woman in the head while she waits outside to return the electronic organizer.Meanwhile, while trying to get sand out of his shoe, Kramer accidentally drops it out of his apartment window, hitting Newman who happens to be walking beneath.

The episode ends with George's dramatic retelling of his struggle with the whale, ultimately revealing that the whale's blowhole had been blocked by a Titleist golf ball. Kramer responds "Hole in one."George also told their college friend the truth about not being a marine biologist and was rebuffed.Elaine then asks Jerry what happened to "Golden Boy": though it did in fact "die," it's been replaced by a new shirt, "Baby Blue."

Quotes

Kramer (very excited): Hey!
George: Hey.
Kramer (still excited): Who wants to have some fun?!
Jerry: I do!
George: I do!
Kramer (even more excited): Are you just sayin' you wanna have fun, or do you "really" wanna have fun?!
Jerry: I really wanna have fun!
George: I'm just sayin' I wanna have fun.
Kramer (increasingly more excited): Right now, there are 600 Titleists that I got at the driving range in the trunk of my car. Why don't we drive out to Rockaway and hit 'em..."into the ocean?" Now, picture this...we find a nice sweet spot between the dunes, we take out our drivers, we tee up, and...
(Kramer mimes swinging a golf club.)
Kramer (more excited than ever): "That ball goes sailin' into the sky, holds there for a moment, and then..."
(With a spread of the arms and a huge enthusiastic grin, Kramer imitates the sound of a golf ball hitting the water.)
George (to Jerry, unimpressed): C'mon, ya wanna go get some lunch?


George: So I started to walk into the water. I won't lie to you boys, I was terrified. But I pressed on, and as I made my way past the breakers, a strange calm came over me. I don't know if it was divine intervention or the kinship of all living things but I tell you Jerry at that moment I was a marine biologist!
Elaine(Sitting down): George I was just reading this thing in the papers, it's unbelieveable!
George: I know I was just telling them the story.
Kramer: Come on George, finish the story.
George(Cont.): The sea was angry that day, my friends - like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. I got about fifty feet out and suddenly the great beast appeared before me. I tell you he was ten stories high if he was a foot. As if sensing my presence, he let out a great bellow. I said, "Easy, big fella!" And then, as I watched him struggling, I realized that something was obstructing its breathing. From where I was standing, I could see directly into the eye of the great fish.
Jerry: Mammal.
George: Whatever.
Kramer: Well what did you do next?
George: Well then, from out of nowhere, a huge tidal wave lifted me, tossed me like a cork, and I found myself right on top of him - face to face with the blow hole! I could barely see from the waves crashing down upon me but I knew something was there. So I reached my hand in, felt around, and pulled out the obstruction. (Shows Kramer's golf ball, while Jerry's jaw opens in astonishment)
Kramer: (In disbelief) Is that a Titleist?
(George nods.)
Kramer: A hole in one, huh?

uperman reference

* Jerry: You know, when Superman saves a woman's life they don't accuse him of hitting on her!:Elaine: Well, you're not Superman.:Jerry: And you're not Lois Lane.

Trivia

* Co-creator Larry David can be heard, in the climactic scene, yelling "Is anyone here a marine biologist?"
* The production crew actually created a very lifelike CGI whale to be inserted into the scenes on the beach. However, it was ultimately decided that the scene worked better if the whale remained unseen, and the CGI whale was not used in the episode.
* The audience response to the end of George's story is regarded by many as one of the longest sustained laughs by the "Seinfeld" studio audience in the show's history, rivaled by the response to Kramer's line "I'm out" from Season 4's "The Contest", George running out of the bathroom with his pants down and falling from Season 3's "The Boyfriend", and Elaine's final line "Maybe I'll go visit my mother. She just bought me some new panties and they're all laid out for me" in Season 4's "The Cheever Letters."Fact|date=April 2007
* In syndication, this episode doesn't feature Jerry's stand-up comedy routine.
* Near the end of the episode, Newman is seen, whistling the traditional Cuban song Guantanamera, before getting hit in the head with Kramer's boot.