The Blood (Seinfeld)

Infobox Television episode
Title = The Blood
Series = Seinfeld


Caption = Jerry, terrified at the thought of having Kramer's blood in his apartment.
Season = 9
Episode = 160
Airdate = October 16, 1997
Production =
Writer = Dan O'Keefe
Director = Andy Ackerman
Guests = Lloyd Bridges, Kellie Waymire
Episode list = List of "Seinfeld" episodes
Season list = Infobox Seinfeld season 9 episode list
Prev =
Next =

"The Blood" is the 160th episode of the NBC sitcom "Seinfeld". This was the 4th episode for the 9th and final season. It aired on October 16, 1997.

Plot

Jerry's parents are concerned about his lack of exercise and thus Seinfeld, realizing he is out of shape, starts a purification program to improve his diet. Jerry's parents eventually buy him sessions with an elderly personal trainer, Izzy Mandelbaum, who's going to help him work off his spare tire. Elaine visits her friend Vivian and is disappointed when Vivian implies that Benes is not responsible enough to watch her son Jimmy. Meanwhile, George decides he needs to add food as a part of his sex life when his girlfriend lights some vanilla-scented incense, whose overpowering scent makes him hungry. His girlfriend only tolerates some food items, detesting "salted cured meats"; George then contrives a way to separate pudding skin from the pudding, creating pudding skin singles and arrives at the decision to add television to his equation as to make food and sex even better ("the Trifecta"). However, George's girlfriend becomes displeased upon discovering him eating a pastrami sandwich while watching a portable TV during foreplay.

Kramer has been storing his blood at a blood bank whose rates increase and, retaliating, he decides to store the blood himself. Vivian then decides that Kramer would be a good choice for a baby-sitter; however, Elaine intercepts him en-route and proves her responsibility. Jerry sustains a hobby knife wound which causes him to require a blood transfusion; ultimately, he receives three pints of Kramer's blood. Jerry becomes upset, especially when Kramer deems him a blood brother (and later takes even greater advantage of him by reminding him of their new tie). Jimmy is a very bratty kid and Elaine comes to hate her new responsibility, so she tries to make herself appear irresponsible; to avoid being responsible she uses George as a "pinch weasel." However, George decides that he has found the woman of his dreams due to her sensual appreciation of pastrami. Kramer borrows Jerry's air-conditioned car to return his blood to the bank. The car overheats because the radiator is dry, but not for long, as he fills it with blood. Jerry's last workout with Izzy results in another transfusion of blood, only this time it is not Kramer's, it is Newman's.

Quotes

* Jerry: "Blood over there, sausage over here...I'm living in a slaughterhouse." [http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheBlood.html]
* Vivian: "I find the pastrami to be the most sensual of all the salted cured meats." [http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheBlood.html]
* George: "I flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami." [http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheBlood.html]
* Jerry: "You mind, George? Some of us are trying to have a civilization here."
* Elaine: "I think you're getting a little pudding under the skin yourself."
* George: "(During sex) Oh VIVIAN!"
* Kramer: "Well I may have to take it, but I don't have to like it!"
* Kramer: "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and fill my freezer with my own blood."
* Jerry: "(After mistaking Tomato juice for blood) "Oh what about this, this is blood isn't it!?"
* Kramer: "You got three pints of Kramer in you, buddy!" (Jerry screams loudly, followed by Kramer as they scream in unison).
* Jimmy: "You're dead, President Lincoln, you're dead!" (pretends to shoot Elaine)
* Elaine: (Sarcastically) "I wish I was dead!"
* Jerry: "Sex is about love between a man and a woman, not a man and a sandwich." [http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheBlood.html]
* Izzy Mandelbaum: (After seeing sausages in Jerry's house) "What in holy hell?"
* Izzy Mandelbaum: "If you want to live in a butcher shop I'm gonna treat you like a piece of meat!"