The Andrea Doria

Infobox Television episode
Title = The Andrea Doria
Series = Seinfeld


Caption = Jerry and Kramer at their storage space.
Season = 8
Episode = 144
Airdate = December 19, 1996
Production =
Writer = Spike Feresten
Director = Andy Ackerman
Guests =
Episode list = List of "Seinfeld" episodes
Season list = Infobox Seinfeld season 8 episode list
Prev =
Next =

"The Andrea Doria" is the 144th episode of American television sitcom "Seinfeld". This was the 10th episode for the 8th season. It aired on December 19, 1996.

Plot

George is excited about the new apartment he is going to move into. Elaine is on a blind date, now called a "set-up." Jerry takes Kramer to his self-storage where they discover that Newman has been hiding bags of mail. George finds out he can't get his apartment because the tenant association is going to give it to an SS Andrea Doria survivor. Elaine is told her date won't be making it because he's been stabbed. Kramer's cold is getting bad and he's not going to the doctor (they botched his vasectomy and he's now more potent than ever). Jerry tries to get Newman to get rid of the mail; however, he's not interested because he didn't get the transfer to Hawaii.

Kramer finds a dog, Smuckers with a cold that he volunteers to take to the vet, so he can get medicine for their colds. Elaine meets her blind date who gets coffee thrown in his face from another ex-girlfriend. She discovers his problem is that he is a "bad breaker-upper." George confronts his rival for the apartment and decides to wage war. As Elaine breaks up with her blind date, he calls her "a big head." From a suggestion by Jerry, George asks for a hearing with the association and tells them the story of his life. Jerry forms "an alliance" with Newman that will hopefully get him out of his life forever. Jerry tries to get Kramer to take his medication.

He discovers that Kramer is taking dog medication and beginning to exhibit the signs of being a dog. The big head comment begins to hold true for Elaine and she makes a comment about jamming "a fork in his forehead." Jerry tries to take Kramer to a real doctor. After Kramer bites Newman's ankle, Jerry offers to deliver the rest of his mail. Newman does not get the transfer to Hawaii, as the post office finds out that Newman wasn't delivering the mail himself, because "too many people got their mail." Elaine meets up with her blind date and makes good on her promise. Kramer saves the day. George and the survivor don't get the apartment, but the guy Elaine stabs does. He gets it, not because he was stabbed, but because he bribed the building's super. When George confronts him over this, the blind date calls him "Chinless," and the episode ends with George rubbing his chin and looking perturbed.

Quotes

*Scene: Jerry's apartment, after George loses the apartment.
George: Hey.
Jerry: Hey, how's the new place?
George: Gone. The tenant association made me give it to this guy because he was an Andrea Doria survivor..
Elaine: Andrea Doria? Isn't that the one they did the song about?
Jerry: Edmund Fitzgerald.
Elaine: I love Edmund Fitzgerald's voice.
Jerry: No, Gordon Lightfoot was the singer. Edmund Fitzgerald was the ship.
George(Thinking about his would-be apartment): You could fit 15 people in that bathroom..
Elaine: I think Gordon Lightfoot was the boat.
Jerry(Sarcastically): Yeah, and it was rammed by the Cat Stevens.
Kramer(Like a school instructor): The Andrea Doria collided with the Stockholm in dense fog 12 miles off the coast of Nantucket.(Makes a clicking sound with his tongue, while the rest are surprised about his knowledge)
George: How do you know?
Kramer: It's in my book - "Astonishing Tales of the Sea"....Fifty-one people died.
George: Fifty-one people!? That's it!? I thought it was like a thousand!
Kramer: There were 1,660 survivors.
George: That's no tragedy! How many people do you lose on a normal cruise? Thirty!? Forty?! Kramer, can I take a look at that book?
Kramer: Oh yeah. I also got "Astounding Bear Attacks".
Jerry: Hey, uh, before you go, did you talk to Newman about getting that mail outta there?
Kramer: Yeah, oh, yeah. Yeah, he's not gonna do it.


*Scene: Jerry's apartment, after George's first failed attempt to get his apartment back.
George: So, he's keeping the apartment. He doesn't deserve it, though! Even if he did suffer, that was, like, 40 years ago! What has he done for me lately?! I've been suffering for the past 30 years up to and including yesterday!
Jerry: You know, if this tenant board is so impressed with suffering, maybe you should tell them the "Astonishing Tales of Costanza".
George(Interested): I should!
Jerry: I mean, your body of work in this field is unparalleled.
George: I could go bummer to bummer with any one else on this planet!
Jerry: You're the man! (Urgent knock on the door, Jerry opens it and its Newman sounding in a rush)
Newman: Jerry!
Jerry: I'm with people, I'll be with you in a moment.(Slams the door on Newman)

Trivia

* The episode also make references to episodes "The Subway", "The Limo", "The Hamptons", "The Rye", and "The Invitations" when George is talking to the association about his "Life Story".
* George says he's 34 years old in this episode.
* During the episode, Jerry says "In my home, Elaine, where I come to sleep and play with my toys." This draws a reference to Godfather Part 2; Michael "In my home! In my bedroom, where my wife sleeps! Where my children come and play with their toys."
* Kramer's coughing message to the police is a parody of Lassie's saving the day by warning of danger or trouble.