Johnny Nice Painter

Johnny Nice Painter is a fictional character played by Charlie Higson in the hit BBC comedy sketch show: The Fast Show which ran from 1994 to 1997. He appeared in the third series of the show and in The Last Fast Show Ever 2000. The humour engendered by this character is notably darker than most of The Fast Show's other characters.

Johnny is an aging but keen amateur painter, and therefore he enjoys many lovely afternoons in the countryside with his wife Katie (Arabella Weir), painting beautiful watercolour landscapes. That is, however until something reminds him of the colour black...

At any mention of the colour, Johnny's personality will change like the click of a finger, and he will become dark and surreal, making his wife cringe, whilst she tries to calm him down. Nothing can stop him when he starts in one of these moods. Memorable phrases from Johnny, when in this mood are: "You lock me in the cellar and feed me pins", "where shall we sleep tonight Mother? In Father's grave?", "My eyes! My eyes are pies, and yours are lies, ALL LIES!", "I am a fly, trapped in a bottle of SHADOWS! Bzzzzzz...", "The gulls have plucked out my eyes!", "What's for tea, Mother? Maggots on toast?", and "They tap at my window with tiny poles!".

On the live shows, Charlie can be seen to overplay his character and improvise in this scene, most likely in an attempt to corpse Arabella Weir, such as in "The Farewell Tour", where he goes: "Black! Black! Black! Move it! Move It! Move It!", and the "Live" tour: "I am caught in a trap! (walks into deckchair) Because I love you too much baby!".

Johnny has been recognised as one of the more popular characters in the show, perhaps due to the unexpected sudden change of air in his sketches, used to a similar effect in comedies such as The League of Gentlemen and Little Britain.