NewsRadio season 3

This is a detailed list of NewsRadio episodes from the third season. See List of NewsRadio episodes for a complete list of all NewsRadio episodes.

President

* Episode No.: 3-1 (29)
* Production No.: 302
* US Airdate: September 18, 1996
* Written by: Paul Simms
* Directed by: Tom Cherones
* Guest stars: Al Roker as Guy

ummary

Jimmy announces he is running for President of the United States. Matthew grows some facial hair while on vacation.

Review

* Episode No.: 3-2 (30)
* Production No.: 301
* US Airdate: September 25, 1996
* Written by: Josh Lieb
* Directed by: Tom Cherones
* Guest stars: Scott Adams as coffee shop patron, Michael Adler as man pretending to be Scott Adams, Mark Fite as coffee shop counterman.

ummary

Matthew discovers the comic strip Dilbert and quits his job when Dave refuses to let him do a story about it. Problems ensue as the station undergoes an annual review.

Massage Chair

* Episode No.: 3-3 (31)
* Production No.: 303
* US Airdate: October 2, 1996
* Written by: Lewis Morton
* Directed by: Drake Sather

ummary

Bill buys a massage chair in defiance of budget cuts at the station.

Arcade

* Episode No.: 3-4 (32)
* Production No.: 304
* US Airdate: October 23, 1996
* Written by: Brian Kelley
* Directed by: Tom Cherones
* Guest stars: Eugene Jarvis, Leelee Sobieski
* Recurring characters:

ummary

Beth replaces the lobby sandwich machine with the arcade game Stargate Defender. Bill is upset because he finds the sandwiches from the old machine to be delicious. Lisa and Dave retake the SATs to see if they are getting dumber.

Halloween

* Episode No.: 3-5 (33)
* Production No.: 307
* US Airdate: October 30, 1996
* Written by: Sam Johnson and Chris Marcil
* Directed by: Tom Cherones

ummary

The staff is not invited to Mr. James' annual Halloween party because he thinks they're "too cool for school". Dave and Lisa persuade him to let them come. Bill becomes depressed after a psychic tells him the exact date of his death, but then falls in love with an old woman.

Notes

* Dave Foley appearing in drag, and subsequently looking good in drag, is a nod to his efforts on The Kids in the Hall.

Awards Show

* Episode No.: 3-6 (34)
* Production No.: 305
* US Airdate: November 6, 1996
* Written by: Drake Sather
* Directed by: Tom Cherones
* Guest stars: Bob Costas as himself, Johnny Crear as elderly man, Steven Gilborn as Marty "The Party" Jackson, Kevin J. O'Neill as bartender.

ummary

The staff attends an awards banquet. Matthew frets over his belief that the breakroom is infested with ants.

Daydream

* Episode No.: 3-7 (35)
* Production No.: 308
* US Airdate: November 13, 1996
* Written by: Paul Simms
* Directed by: Tom Cherones

ummary

A hot day and broken air conditioner causes the thoughts of the staff to drift.

Movie Star

* Episode No.: 3-8 (36)
* Production No.: 309
* US Airdate: November 20, 1996
* Written by: Lewis Morton
* Directed by: Tom Cherones
* Guest stars: James Caan as himself

ummary

James Caan visits Bill as part of research for his new movie, but he soon becomes fixated by Matthew's odd behavior. Dave tries to buy a television set for Lisa. Superfan Jimmy James has an extra Knicks ticket, and Joe conducts a trivia contest between Beth and Catherine to determine who gets the seat.

Stocks

* Episode No.: 3-9 (37)
* Production No.: 306
* US Airdate: December 11, 1996
* Written by: Alan J. Higgins
* Directed by: Tom Cherones

ummary

Jimmy teaches Beth how to play the stock market, but won't help Bill. Matthew pretends to have flown to Japan, bringing back gifts for the office, including a samurai's katana sword for Dave. Lisa is reluctant to ask for a new chair because she doesn't want it to look like Dave is playing favorites.

Christmas

* Episode No.: 3-10 (38)
* Production No.: 311
* US Airdate: December 18, 1996
* Written by: Drake Sather
* Directed by: Patrick Maloney

ummary

Dave covers for his employees so they can leave early, but still manages to take Lisa to Wisconsin before Christmas is over.

The Trainer

* Episode No.: 3-11 (39)
* Production No.: 312
* US Airdate: December 18, 1996
* Written by: Joe Furey
* Directed by: Gregg Heschong
* Guest stars: Ben Stiller as Vic

ummary

Bill joins a gym; the WNYX staff discover a secret about Dave's past.

Notes

* Dave Foley remains a Canadian citizen.

Rap

* Episode No.: 3-12 (40)
* Production No.: 310
* US Airdate: January 8, 1997
* Written by: Alan J. Higgins, Brian Kelley, Drake Sather, and Paul Simms
* Directed by: Tom Cherones
* Guest stars: Chuck D as himself

ummary

Bill discovers the evils of rap music. Lisa has a problem with being named "cutest reporter" by a local magazine.

Led Zeppelin Boxed Set

* Episode No.: 3-13 (41)
* Production No.: 313
* US Airdate: January 15, 1997
* Written by: Lewis Morton, Sam Johnson, Chris Marcil, Joe Furey, and Josh Lieb
* Directed by: Tom Cherones

ummary

Matthew becomes the office "alpha male," while Jimmy learns about three card monte.

Complaint Box

* Episode No.: 3-14 (42)
* Production No.: 314
* US Airdate: January 29, 1997
* Written by: Brian Kelley, Lewis Morton, Joe Furey, and Josh Lieb
* Directed by: Tom Cherones

ummary

The new complaint box causes problems for Dave. Jimmy goes fishing, while his satellite hookup goes to the movies.

Rose Bowl

* Episode No.: 3-15 (43)
* Production No.: 315
* US Airdate: February 5, 1997
* Written by: Alan J. Higgins, Josh Lieb, Lewis Morton, and Paul Simms
* Directed by: Tom Cherones
* Guest stars: George Lindsey as himself, David Clennon as the Judge, Glenn Walker Harris Jr. as the con artist.

ummary

Dave agrees to let the staff review each other, while Jimmy takes a con artist to court. Joe teaches Jimmy the secret masonic word "Tubalcain" that might automatically win him the court case.

Kids

* Episode No.: 3-16 (44)
* Production No.: 316
* US Airdate: February 12, 1997
* Written by: Sam Johnson, Chris Marcil, Joe Furey, and Drake Sather
* Directed by: Tom Cherones

ummary

Dave must figure out who is leaving pornography around the office in the midst of an elementary school field trip. Jimmy hits on the kids' teacher over a fancy lunch.

Airport

* Episode No.: 3-17 (45)
* Production No.: 317
* US Airdate: February 19, 1997
* Written by: Drake Sather
* Directed by: Tom Cherones

ummary

While Bill and Dave are stuck in a St. Louis airport, Lisa runs the office, and Beth and Matthew water Bill's plants.

Twins

* Episode No.: 3-18 (46)
* Production No.: 318
* US Airdate: March 12, 1997
* Written by: Lewis Morton
* Directed by: Tom Cherones
* Guest stars: Jon Stewart as Andrew

ummary

Matthew's "identical twin" brother Andrew arrives for a visit. Bill's greed almost bankrupts the station.

Office Feud

* Episode No.: 3-19 (47)
* Production No.: 319
* US Airdate: March 19, 1997
* Written by: Sam Johnson and Chris Marcil
* Directed by: Leonard R. Garner, Jr.
* Guest stars: Sara Paxton as Sara

ummary

Joe, Dave, and Beth deal with the noisy environmentalists who've moved in upstairs; Lisa covers the Easter Egg hunt at the White House; Bill and Catherine argue over Bill's sponsorship by Rocket Fuel Malt Liquor.

Memorable Quotes

Bill: Gazizza, dilznoofuses, this is Bill McNeal saying, get with the crazappy taste of Rocket Fuel Malt Liquor! Rocket Fuel's got the upstate prison flavor that keeps you ugly all night long. So when you wanna get sick, remember: Nothing makes your feet stank like Rocket Fuel Malt Liquor. Damn, it's crazappy!

Notes

This episode introduced the word "gazizza," later used in Space.

Our Fiftieth Episode

* Episode No.: 3-20 (48)
* Production No.: 321
* US Airdate: April 2, 1997
* Written by: Joe Furey, Paul Simms, and Josh Lieb
* Directed by: Tom Cherones
* Guest stars: Jon Lovitz as Fred

ummary

An argument over a traffic ticket gets Bill committed to a mental hospital.

Sleeping

* Episode No.: 3-21 (49)
* Production No.: 322
* US Airdate: May 7, 1997
* Written by:
** Story: Alan J. Higgins and Paul Simms
** Teleplay: Brian Kelley
* Directed by: Judi Elterman
* Guest stars: Scott N. Stevens as Dr. Mandel

ummary

Matthew hides in the break room fridge to scare anyone who opens it, eventually causing Mr. James to have a heart attack. Mr. James' lawyer shows Dave and Lisa a video tape wherein Mr. James reveals his wish to spend his remaining time with his friends and colleagues at WNYX in the case of a life-threatening illness. Mr. James is moved into the WNYX break room while he recovers from his coma and the staff is asked to talk to him during the day. Lisa decides that she wants to have a baby. Bill recreates his time as a college overnight DJ.

The Real Deal

* Episode No.: 3-22 (50)
* Production No.: 320
* US Airdate: May 7, 1997
* Written by:
** Story: Josh Lieb and Lewis Morton
** Teleplay: Joe Furey and Paul Simms
* Directed by: Tom Cherones
* Guest stars: Jerry Seinfeld as himself, Bobbie Brown as Irene, Gregg Daniel as Kevin Sparks, Mark Fite as Waiter

ummary

Desperate to keep "The Real Deal" on the air despite floundering ratings, Bill and Lisa attempt to interview Jerry Seinfeld in a restaurant and record the results. Matthew reveals to everybody that he is still a virgin (at 28), and subsequently loses his virginity to his gorgeous girlfriend in the breakroom.

Mistake

* Episode No.: 3-23 (51)
* Production No.: 323
* US Airdate: May 14, 1997
* Written by:
** Story: Joe Furey and Paul Simms
** Teleplay: Josh Lieb and Drake Sather
* Directed by: Tom Cherones
* Guest stars: French Stewart as Brent

ummary

Dave makes several inappropriate comments about the staff in a magazine article. Matthew has competition as the weirdest person in the office.

Space

* Episode No.: 3-24 (52)
* Production No.: 324
* US Airdate: May 21, 1997
* Written by:
** Story: Brian Kelley and Lewis Morton
** Teleplay: Joe Furey, Josh Lieb and Paul Simms
* Directed by: Tom Cherones
* Guest stars: Bobbie Brown as Irene

ummary

WNYX is imagined as a news radio station in space in the future. The crew still have the same jobs, and WNYX is still a radio station. Bill and Catharine read ads ("Soylent Green, made from the best stuff on Earth: people") and news from the future. Meanwhile, Joe is thawed out after more than 80 years of suspended animation to fix the reactor for the station. Jimmy needs to cut the budget, so he needs to have either Bill or Catherine go into suspended animation for 50 years. Dave and Lisa, meanwhile, are still trying to figure out if they should live together, and where. Although Joe tinkers with the reactor, his repairs (hitting it numerous times with a pair of pliers and then pulling out a circuit board) fail to produce the desired effect, and he announces that the whole station will blow up unless everyone (save for two people) goes into suspended animation pods for 50 years so they can shut the station down and wait for help. The crew, with the exception of Bill (who is paranoid that someone else will wind up making just as much money when he wakes up) and Matthew (who tells his android girlfriend to take his place--even though, as she tries to point out, she doesn't need oxygen or food to survive) get into the pods. Matthew trips over a cord, unplugging the pods from their power source, instantly killing everyone except for himself and Bill. Bill then informs Matthew that they'll have to re-start the human race together. (Matthew agrees--"But no gay stuff.")

Injury

* Episode No.: 3-25 (53)
* Production No.: 203
* US Airdate: June 5, 1997
* Written by: Paul Simms
* Directed by: Rich Beren
* Guest stars: Bob Odenkirk as Dr. Smith
* Recurring characters: Norm Macdonald (comedian) as Roger, Mr. James' lawyer

ummary

When uninsured Matthew is injured goofing off at work, Dave and Lisa try to pass it off as a workplace accident so that workers' compensation will pay for the hospital costs.

Notes

* This episode was intended to appear in season 2. It was delayed because the script called for Bill (Phil Hartman) to repeatedly use the word "penis" (some of which were ultimately edited out). Because of this, the episode is intentionally featured on both the First (Seasons 1 & 2) and Second (Season 3) NewsRadio DVD boxsets.
*Matthew's birthday is given as 12/21/65 in this episode (making him 31 in real time), however Dave stated Matthew was 28 in 'The Real Deal'.

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